Kevin Bemel ·
Why You Must Manage Expectations to Be Happy
If I just had [fill in the blank] I would be happy!
Maybe it is more money, the loss of a certain number of pounds, a spouse. In fact, when you look around, the people who are successful seem to have the things you lack. Would it surprise you to know that most of the happiest people I know have very little yet they are neither poor nor monks?
Not long ago while visiting one of the submarines in my squadron I was asked by several of the chief petty officers to bring some perspective to a debate they were having. Concerned that morale among submariners was low, they wanted to do more for their sailors so as to improve it. They were flabbergasted to find that among surface fleet, aviation, and the Silent Service (a.k.a. submarines) their sailors’ morale was highest. Explaining that because they had low expectations about life underwater, their sailors managed their expectations accordingly.
As you might imagine, submariners have no Internet access, cellphone service, Facebook, or sunlight for that matter. For a six to seven month deployment, they can bring only clothes and personal gear that fit in a space about 6” x 30” x 72”. Can you imagine such a life? I read recently that people are so connected they check their cellphones 150 times a day. Talk about withdraw.
Despite such deficiencies, submariners are happy not only in comparison to other sailors but in general. There is even a term for sailors whose morale is so low they seek to get out of submarines: going sad. They take pride in being happy notwithstanding such a Spartan environment.
You may be tempted to take away from this the idea that the basis of happiness is to live a simpler, less cluttered life. If that is your desire then you are right. But abstemiousness is not necessarily virtuous. It is possible to get a great deal of pleasure from things. Though I have had it for more than ten years, I still greatly enjoy driving my convertible BMW, especially along the coast.
Submariners have learned the two keys to being happy:
[Tweet "Require Yourself to be Happy"]
[Tweet "Happiness = Controlling Your Assumptions about What You'll Get from Life"]
Living intentionally means managing your expectations: focus on your goals, believe you will achieve them, stake your happiness on your current situation. A positive outlook of being happy will help you accomplish more.
Question – How do you manage your expectation about life?
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