Kevin Bemel ·
Why You Must Distinguish between Self-Discipline and Self-Denial
“From wine and hard drink he will separate . . .” (Bamidbar/Numbers 6:3). G-d tells the Israelites that a person who takes a Nazirite vow must not drink what we know as unfermented grape juice and wine. Why only these beverages and not any type of food?
This coming Sabbath we read Parshas Nasso. In it, we learn about the census of Levites and the assignment of their responsibilities, the Sotah, the Nazir, the priestly blessing, and the offerings that the leaders of the Twelve Tribes brought to dedicate the Tabernacle.
A person who feels his spiritual level is on shaky ground can take a vow to abstain from grapes and grape products and to refrain from cutting his hair. But if improving one’s sense of holiness is the goal, would it not be more logical to shun all earthly pleasures?
Sforno points out that giving up drinking wine will not weaken a person’s health. We learn from this it is wrong to abstain from those things we need to sustain us physically thereby decreasing our capacity to do mitzvahs and improve our character. Activities, such as fasting for multiple days, impede rather than improve our ability to elevate our spirits.
Noteworthy is that a Nazir brings a sin offering to complete his vow. Thus we see even a vow of limited abstinence is not meritorious but rather a last resort. While wine is not necessary to sustain life, the only beverage over which Kiddish, the prayer that begins the Friday night Sabbath meal, can be said is wine or grape juice. A Nazir gives up this crucial ritual.
Most important is to distinguish between self-discipline and self-denial. The former helps us be focused on the important goals in life. The latter weakens us, making it more difficult to fulfill the purpose for which G-d made us.
Question – How do you balance being disciplined while not being overly strict with yourself?
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