Kevin Bemel ·
When You Should Embrace Being Annoyed
Routine is nice. You get things done without expending a lot of mental energy. Isn’t it nice driving to work in the morning and having nothing exceptional happen? You can listen to your music or recorded book while your car is essentially on autopilot. I bet more of being annoyed by a car cutting you off comes from the interruption of your reverie than the danger. Yet for all its comfort, sometimes routine puts you in a rut. If you do not realize you are there it gets deeper and deeper until one day you wake up and wonder, “How did I end up in such a bottomless pit?” Climbing out may seem impossible.
Reflecting back on the Jewish High Holidays, I noted that at first I was frustrated. During the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the morning prayer liturgy is the same as the rest of the year except that four short verses are inserted at various places and twice one or three words are replaced by another word. Most vexing, if I forgot to replace one of the words I had to start over again.
At this point you might be thinking that G-d really does not care if I replace a word or not, it is the thought that counts. Indeed, you are probably right. But if so, why the requirement to repeat a lengthy prayer for the sake of one word?
As I pondered this question, I thought about how sometimes I lack focus when praying. It is never fulfilling, in fact, I feel empty afterward. I realized the same is true about inattentive interactions with family and friends. Then it hit me. Not only does G-d want my full attention when I engage Him, He wants me to:
[Tweet "Never Let Interactions with Family and Friends Become Perfunctory"]
Having to repeat an entire prayer because of one word teaches me to be intentional in my relationships. In essence, the penance has to be as strict as it is easy to slip back into habit. Otherwise, there is insufficient incentive to change.
At least for now keep your drives on cruise control. But when it comes to your marriage, parenting, and friendships better to keep in mind that a misplaced word means a do-over. In those situations, hopefully the person will be as forgiving as the Lord.
Question – How do you stay intentional about your relationships?
Please comment on this question or ask another question below.
