Kevin Bemel ·
What Everyone Ought to Know . . . About Attaining Greater Contentment
“And they [the spies] spoke to the entire assembly of the Children of Israel saying, the land that we passed in it to spy it, the Land [of Israel] is very, very good.” (Bamidbar/Numbers 14:7). The men that Moses sent to check out the Land of Israel come back and report. Do these spies have any intelligence for us?
The parsha for this Sabbath is Shelach. In it is the infamous story of the twelve spies who reconnoitered the Land of Israel and caused the Israelites to lose faith that they could conquer it. As a result, G-d decreed that they wander in the wilderness for 40 years. It also details the meal and libation offerings to be brought with the korbanos, animal sacrifices. The penalty for desecration of the Sabbath is determined. Finally, the commandment to wear tzitzis, fringes, on the corners of a garment is given.
A story is told of Rabbi Moshe of Lelov who was visited by a resident of Israel. The person complained bitterly about the land. Rabbi Moshe reprimanded him saying, “the Torah tells us ‘the Land [of Israel] is very, very good’.” He went on to point out that the Mishnah (Pirkei Avos 4:4) says, “be very, very humble” concluding that when someone is arrogant nothing will be good enough.
A person filled with self-importance is more likely to insist that life be in accordance with his expectations. He views his own behavior and worth in lofty terms, consequently belittling others. A humble person, lacking the burden of expectations, is more easily able to focus on the good aspects of people and things. In doing so he improves his spiritual connection to the world, thereby furthering his ability to see good in it.
Think about when your spouse makes you angry. Is what he or she did really bad or does it seem bad in comparison to how you perceive your behavior? If you view yourself with humility, honestly assessing your own shortcomings, you are far more likely to view your spouse’s behavior as good. The result is greater marital satisfaction.
This principle applies to all areas of your life. A radio personality I know once reported on the outcome of a vodka taste test. First, participants were asked which brand they thought was best. Most named super premium brands such as Grey Goose or Finlandia. Then they did a blind taste test. The result: an overwhelming majority thought Smirnoff tasted best. Unconvinced, my wife and I took the test. Our winner: Smirnoff. Here is the funny part: vodka is tasteless.
If you view yourself as deserving to live life at a certain level you create contempt for anyone or anything that does not live up to this expectation. Worse, you cause yourself a great deal of dissatisfaction.
The Land, indeed the world, is very, very good. Will you have the humility to see it that way?
Question – What do you do to gain a balanced perspective of your behavior?
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