Here is a Method to Help Children from Adolescence to Adulthood

Do you remember the last time you went through a rite of passage? Was it your wedding, college commencement, or high school graduation? As part of the event, did you feel the solemnity of the change or was it essentially a big party?

In his excellent book Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection, Dr. John E. Sarno hypothesizes that one source of physical pain is the tendency of the unconscious part of our personality, which is childish and narcissistic, to seemingly unreasonably generate anger. Like the temper tantrum a child throws when he does not get his way.

Dr. Sarno cites Joseph Campbell’s observation that in our society we do not have powerful, dramatic, specific rites of passage that sharply distinguish between childhood and adulthood the way more "primitive" tribes did. As a result, people retain more of their childish tendencies despite their chronological age.

This issue encompasses more than people experiencing needless levels of anxiety, anger, and pain. The longer adulthood is postponed the less likely behavior will default to maturity and the more difficult it will be to assume responsibilities. Consequently, mental and spiritual fitness degrade, leading to greater difficulty navigating all of life’s challenges and straining a person’s long-term endurance.

In my own faith tradition, the Bar/Bas Mitzvah has lost much of its power to affect a metamorphosis amidst the revelry. In the military, I met service members under 30 who were on their third or fourth marriage. At its root was an unwillingness to function as a grown-up.

One way to rectify this situation is to reinstitute rites of passage that inspire awe. Families, organizations, and religious institutions must re-assume responsibility for transitioning children to adulthood.

Question – How should parents bring about adulthood for their children?
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