Kevin Bemel ·
How to Guarantee You’ll Change Your Life
3-1/2 minutes to read
Did you follow through on your new year’s resolutions this year? Have you lost 20 pounds? Did you increase your income by 25%? Is your marriage stronger and more loving than it ever was before? For most people making such change requires transformation. Achieving them is hard. Nothing you’ll ever do will come close. Lifelong beliefs have to be overturned, eradicated from your mind and spirit.
The Two Sides of Change
The motivation to change comes from one of two places: Pain and Aspiration. If you’re not in touch with at least one of them you won’t change.
Consider the case of being overweight. I had been disgusted by my appearance for years. But the discomfort didn’t last long because there were no full-length mirrors in my home. Getting married changed the pain equation.
Was I going to continue to eat myself into an early grave and leave my wife a widow? What example was I setting for my wife and children to be? Whose svelte physique might capture my wife’s attention after the bloom of marriage wore off? Two months of these tortured thoughts made the pain of borderline obesity unbearable. It got me through two years of constant hunger. They made transformation achievable.
The other motivator, aspiration, must be felt equally deep. You probably want a six-figure income. But do you crave it? Do you dream about it? Can you describe to me why you have to have it? List for me what you’re willing to sacrifice to earn it. Will you abandon comfort? If not, you’ll never get it.
The Source of Persistence
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” ∞ Theodore Roosevelt
You probably already know change requires discipline and persistence. But where do these qualities come from? Some argue they’re innate. Geoff Colvin, author of the exceptional book Talent Is Overrated, says it’s possible people are born with various levels of self-discipline. But his research shows your belief about inborn passion and discipline is far more important. Convince yourself you are disciplined and you will be.
Before you’ll change you have to hate where you’re at now or be infatuated with where you want to be. Nothing less will do.
How to Build Pain and Aspiration
To build pain into your life set up a confrontation with what you hate every day. Get on the scale each morning. Tape a picture of what you want to look like on your mirror and compare yourself to it each night. While doing these say out loud, “I will change. I will loose 20 pounds. I will become the new image of me!” Write down what reaching your weight-loss goal will mean for your life. How will it positively impact you, your spouse, and your children?
Why must you earn a six-figure income? What will it allow you to do? What hated thing won’t you have to do when you have this income? Make your answers vivid. Find pictures to tape to your mirror that illustrate how you life will look.
With both of these processes, you may feel a little silly at first. Good. You’ve taken the first step toward transforming outmoded lifelong beliefs.
What part of your life is framed and most vividly envisioned?
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