Kevin Bemel ·
3 Myths That Are Making You Unhappy
Myths have intrigued people for millennia. I've written about how they can benefit society. But some lead to unhappiness and hinder your growth. My running partner, Rabbi Nachum Braverman told me about three he finds hold people back.
As a society rooted in Enlightenment principles, it's easy to see where they originated and how they became so pervasive. Yet man-made philosophical systems, by their nature, are flawed. That human beings can think logically does not mean they always do. Nor is the world innately rational. So these three offshoots of the Enlightenment can cause you untold unhappiness:
1. Life is comprehensible. When people search for meaning, usually they're looking for some ordering principle. They want an explanation for why things happen. The question, “Why do bad things happen to good people” endures because of this longing.
Consider: More than seven billion people interact in the world today. Each has his own priorities. The National Science Foundation estimates our brains produce as many as 50,000 thoughts a day. That means there may be as many of 350 TRILLION DAILY THOUGHTS impacting what happens in the world. Nine-five percent may be repeated each day. So no matter how rationally you believe people think or behave, it is not possible to grasp such a multitude.
Life is not comprehensible. Wanting it to be will dishearten you, sapping your ability to improve your life and that of your family.
2. Problems are solvable. With this myth, I distinguish between challenges and problems. You can overcome challenges, such as changing a bad habit or earning more money. But the big problems of life, such as poverty and sickness, don't have solutions.
Poverty is a relativistic issue. As the United States becomes wealthier, poor people gain a greater material comfort. They live better than many middle-class people in the rest of the world. But a gap will ever exist between the poor and the wealthy.
Communism, the most radical effort to level the playing field, caused an enormous gap between the few haves and the masses of have-nots. It also led to the murder of tens of millions of people.
Scientists discover newer and better ways of curing illnesses. So thousands who would not have survived childhood now live to be adults. As a result, new medical problems arise.
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You may choose to engage in the struggle. And doing so is laudable. Human beings have grappled with these issues since we first inhabited the Earth. To be sure, we have progressed. But in the wake of World War II’s defeat of fascism, the belief arose that every problem could be overcome. An optimistic outlook is great. An unrealistic one will make you unhappy.
3. Life is meant to be comfortable. In the United States, we live in such material plenty, comfort seems to be our birthright. But where is it written that we should live painless lives? And why would we want to?
Consider the case of the children of wealthy families who grow up wanting for nothing. Time and again they cannot cope with the rigors of life. Or they get involved in self-destructive behaviors. The high level of comfort infantilizes them.
Maturation and personal growth develop when you face difficulties and hardship. You'll gain greater comfort by reconciling yourself to wrestling with serious challenges. Otherwise, you'll be unhappy about the lack of comfort in your life.
You need to assimilate positive beliefs. As important, get rid of those that are holding you back. Purge yourself of these myths. Focus on understanding yourself. Don't pursue a fruitless search for the meaning of life. Do what you can to reduce problems. Otherwise, you'll only be frustrated that after millennia they still exist. Prepare yourself to deal with the vicissitudes of life. Give up bemoaning your discomfort. The result: You'll increase your happiness and potential for personal growth.
Which myth, if you overcame it, would lead to the most happiness for you?
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