0:00 [Music] who are you and where are you going what do you [Music] want hello and welcome to trust and Estates weekly I'm your host Kevin bemel and we're here every Monday at 10: a.m. Pacific time to talk about all those matters related to Estate Planning and trust and estate Administration both
0:37 from the standpoint of your own needs as as as individuals and also from the standpoint of people like my guest and I uh who help people um in their Estate Planning and the administration um of of their estate and so uh today uh I I don't get to say this too often seems like most of my um uh military colleague guests seem to be from the Marine Corps for some reason but today um I'm particularly pleased um to have Blair Dell with me um like me uh
1:14 Blair is a United States Navy veteran and I I think I see a diving helmet behind you there if I'm not mistaken um and um Blair and I uh met through a a group of um military veter veterans who meet once a month to uh talk about how we can help each other um first and foremost in our businesses and professions but then also just kind of in you know civilian life in in general bring a little bit of the uh military camaraderie uh to to our civilian lives
1:51 and so um really pleased uh dell to H I mean Blair to have you on the show sorry I have a friend one of my longsiding friends his name is Dell and we were texting all morning so pretty common I get answered anything but late for dinner right oh that's funny I I always say the same thing so so Blair first of all welcome to the show thanks for so so um you know we don't we don't have too many um military veterans on this show so if you would start out just a little bit and and talk about your
2:28 professional background and how you got to the work that you're doing today certainly I I'll try to keep this brief but uh at least hit the high points uh I started out actually in high school as a firefighter EMT and uh ran away and joined the circus I.E the US Navy um I'm gonna hopefully I'm gonna deflate your reviews earlier a little bit I was a naval Corman and spent most of my time with the Marines so I was with M OC right I'm a chaplain who spent you know most of his time it seemed like with h with the with the Marine Corps or a lot of his time at the Marine Corps anyway yeah so I started as an infantry
3:03 medic and then went to Marine reconnaissance and then spent the latter half of my career in Marine Special Operations Command uh in Socom worked in a very asymmetrical environment that uh pulled me more for my medical component to more of a uh leadership and understanding of security in bad places uh around the world did multiple combat tours and uh when I retired in 2016 I started a small firm called 813 consult ing uh the along with trying to get back to my community where I work with the Washington State Patrol SWAT team I also wanted to reach out to Veterans doing
3:39 the piece that we spoke on the uh podcast or uh group where we met before but the overall thrust of what I try to do is prepare people organizations and agencies for their worst day ever take these skill sets that were uh learn the hard way overseas and see how we can adapt them and mold them in a way that helps helps people live better lives because they have that peace of mind to know that they're ready when things go wrong uh and this isn't your typical doomsday prepper type thing this is everything from how to prepare for a car wreck how to have Securities in place to avoid cyber issues uh and in the case of
4:15 your um podcast here uh Estate Planning and some of the unfortunate challenges that can come with that that has been a growing area where we've been seeing some uh requests for assistance in Risk navigation you know and and it's it's interesting um the direction that your um professional life is going because in my practice too um it seems like um there's ever more on the on the sort of legal side there's ever more fraud um being
4:51 committed and um I know here in in Los Angeles County we have a lot of Judges who are new to the bench they're not very experienced and so the opportunity for um committing fraud um and and it lengthening uh an administration because the judge doesn't have the experience to see through the manipulations um has has you I it seems to me increased
5:27 significantly uh I don't imagine that though you're talking necessarily about legal risks in in planning but but talk to us if you would what what are the kinds of uh risk issues in estate planning um that that that you're looking at that you're seeing as you you know develop this aspect of your practice certainly um we'll start with the most uh Dynamic if you will um probably the one that comes to mind most for anybody who's ever uh executed or assisted in a contested will setting and
6:03 that's the reading uh when you have uh beneficiaries that may or may not be on the same level uh friendly what have you can be a very heated emotionally charged environment having a uh third party that's registered with the state in a security capacity uh can sometimes provide a More Level head uh more level um uh cooler if you will in the room people knowing going into it that there are people that are while the legal representatives are doing their job there's someone there to make sure everybody leaves the room
6:39 safely uh there's certainly plenty of you talk to five estate planners uh you're going to get 10 stories of when will readings went bad and um that's one of the things I was first uh made aware of this corner of the market space that could be supported by our assets another is securing assets prior to end of life and this is one I feel very strongly about because I've been brought in for some veterans other folks that were nearing hospice care or other things of that nature and were horribly abused and taken advantage of and the
7:15 ways we can go about supporting these uh individuals prior to the execution of the will and Trust uh vary from having an agent on site uh to having security and surveillance uh have health and safety check-ins uh a multitude of different ways where we can assist the estate to ensure that the uh all parties are acting accordingly and also the people involved are safe and being treated appropriately so before you go on from from from those two because I have a couple of questions so on the first one
7:52 where you know there's a reading of the will and and and people are you know there in the room um so to be honest I usually don't get involved at that point I get involved at the point where um either the will is ready to be submitted for probate so there's already been a reading or it's been submitted to probate there's been a lot of um dissension among the beneficiaries typically and so I'm brought in as as a neutral third party if you will um who you know either all sides can equally trust or mistrust right as the case may
8:28 be um and and and and drive the process forward so um so it sounds like what you're suggesting is at at the at a will reading there there might even be an an outbreak of violence um as as a result of say disappointment on the part of an individual something like that um you know how do you how do you you what what are um what are the the the kinds of incidents that you know estate estate
9:05 planning people have related to you um along those lines to to to to add some uh vividness if you will to to this particular aspect well absolutely the biggest concern that I've heard from uh individuals in this is chemically altered uh beneficiaries in the room uh people that are there and they're not in a uh effective mindset and to on board the information correctly or and doesn't even be or and or uh they are emotionally charged which will happen
9:40 with any sort of uh end of life scenario uh those two rest uh ingredients make a recipe for disaster but then you start adding uh disperate um uh support when one child gets more than the other the normal things you hear quite often that resulting in either threat or actual violence in the room or one of the things that we recommend is that whatever security measures are taken are follow all the way to the parking lot until they're in their individual vehicles and depart the premises for a liability for the firm doing the the
10:17 work uh but also just making sure everybody stays safe uh just the presence of an person there and we don't we're not wanting a hulking security guard and body armor that's not what we're picturing here this is is a person in a suit casually there identified by the lawyers this is our security professional here he tends to read in and people are aware but sits in the back uh hopefully a Wallflower and not needed but uh the I can I've lost count of the amount of times I've heard from someone who reads Wills or does this I really could have used you in this and
10:53 they give me this Horror Story uh either in their uh in their office or in the lobby or in the parking lot following out um that's a that's some examples of that it is interesting because excuse me I have I have a potential case right now where the long-term live-in partner of the decedent um they were not married um and there was no will right and so um he's extremely upset about having
11:28 been essentially left out right he's he's gonna get nothing um because there there's no you know under the laws of descent and distribution he's not entitled to anything uh and um it appears that he's not particularly well-liked by the other beneficiaries and so that is kind of like pouring you know gasoline on the fire right absolutely and I think if these if the and now there there was no reading of a will because there was no will um but if all these people were in
12:04 the same room I would think I would want somebody there who you know is identified as you know this is someone who I've asked to be here to make sure that um everything goes smoothly and um you know emotions don't get out of hand that that that kind of thing so and I think you hit it earlier just on the head that disinterested third party uh whoever we have in the room doesn't care who gets what we just care of protecting the client which would be either the estate or you uh making sure that uh everybody leaves safe and with all the
12:40 fingers they walked into the room with you know they uh um the other part to this though that is less Dynamic that a lot of people don't they don't think about until it's too late quite often is the cyber security portion of this and firewatch solutions who is my who I work with on this they are a full spectrum security solution that looks at it from the physical to the Cyber and everything in between uh things like social media accounts uh as a stepping stone to identity theft uh actual in the case you gave of a livein partner who may have access to some of
13:16 the accounts and things of that nature um from an estate perspective you need to be able to get a solid grip on everything all assets and make sure they're distributed as not necessarily like in this case where there wasn't will but if you're brought into it where they will make sure everybody gets what they were intended to get um that's hard to do if there is an a bad actor whether part of the family Circle or third- party way out there in the in the weeds nefariously waiting uh if you don't think people aren't reading the obituary as like it's a want ads to come in and
13:52 take advantage of folks then you're not being realistic about the environment with the uh baby boomer generation all the we read about um a exploding uh Estate Management environment these sort of things uh grow exponentially and uh they're almost always a horrible story in some way because people didn't take an ounce of prevention on the front end and one of the ways it seems that we're getting a lot more uh tie-in with this is the Cyber side of things so the the the second thing you brought up about protecting assets
14:29 even before um a person passes away it that it that seems to almost um combine with with the problem of elder abuse that is so unfortunately so frequent um I I I've had you know even you know long-standing close friends who you know because they don't live in the same city or state as their parents you know they they they eventually get a drift that something not right is going on and then they come here and they find out um you know what's going on um and one of the
15:04 when when you mentioned cyber so the first thing that left into my mind is you know because um Financial assets are so often dealt with online it it is so e and and it is so easy to move funds around um it it can be very easy to you know for someone with um shall we say less and pure intentions right to get a hold of a password you know an account name and password or um and and those assets disappear and then you know along
15:41 I come and and you know they're they're all gone I I I think I'm in a situation like that right now where um after three years a will was declared fraudulent um and and what's left as far as the court knows is just a house but I can't imagine there weren't you know bank accounts perhaps you know there were some crypto currency accounts which you know those are particularly difficult um to to deal with so um how how do you and
16:16 your your partner um you know how do you secure um those kinds of assets um or can you you know secure those kinds of assets um so that a bad actor or just someone you know who's upset about what's going on um doesn't in essence pull them out of the ability of an administrator or an executive whatever to to properly administrate um that's a great question and when you're looking at an optimal
16:53 solution uh we're brought in as early as the estate management team is in a perfect world uh you're dealing with potentially High net worth individual that has a risk or not um estate management team or a family management team uh before we get towards end of life uh we want to be part of the team earlier on uh managing that full spectrum uh security solution approach if that is the case we're already tied in and monitoring and uring those cyber uh vulnerabilities are already addressed early on but where I see it happen most
17:29 often uh most likely is when people finally make the decision to write a will uh designate someone like yourself or sounds like a little bit before you um an estate manager that does execute wills and things of that nature and what we're we ask is we should be part of the checklist that that person uses uh when you're going through and hitting all the key points to ensure that the uh the family or is planning for end of life appropriately contact firewatch Solutions and Blair and have a discussion because not any
18:06 person says that there's an offthe shelf solution for this is trying to sell you something we just want to have a conversation and uh discuss from the position of risk navigation rather than just distribution of wealth um because we want to make sure that those assets are available to them on the back end so that's where we would have a discussion saying all right you have these properties you have these uh vehicles you have these Assets in the Cyber realm and that's when we would bring in our cyber team look at how they're position whether they're direct Bank whether there's crypto all these different things and there's measures
18:42 that the team can put in place that say all right on uh prior to um notification of end of life we will have quarterly or semiannually or annually check-ins to check the health of everything make sure that those assets and whether that's a physical inspection uh doing um what we call penetration testing of assets usually it's in the business or corporate setting but we can do it in the uh State realm as well go in and I look at this from a cyber perspective and a physical perspective and say yes everything is as healthy as when we
19:19 started and that goes to notification end of life where we can set up a A to Z one two three however you wanted to do it um the these things will happen automatically so we're not playing catchup we're out ahead of potential Bad actors whether into in the Family Circle or out uh this could be uh the one that really jumped out at me a while back was a family that um had a fleet of vehicles in their family business and um trying to secure um 75 vehicles and make sure that they just
19:54 don't roll off uh that was something beyond the manager realm like that was a very panicked call I got from the person saying what do I do here um and when he was anticipating that they would all get stolen and end up in Mexico or someplace um I actually was more concerned about uh when I knew the security system that they were in I was worried more about their catalytic converters being stolen uh because of the people involved and it sure as heck we got more roll buys going for U we didn't have physical security But I contacted local people
20:29 told them there was a vulnerability in their area and they actually C caught a group of folks that were U little potentially going in for catalytic converters wow uh those are that's how we think we think uh you pay us for our you don't have to be paranoid we can be a little bit for you I'm and then the final piece there is that interim period of hospice care and things of that nature making sure that the humans involved that that Personal Touch having a um piece pce of Mind in that emotionally charged environment uh being mindful of the now
21:04 and while we prepare for what's coming next having a partner in that that is uh respectful and compassionate to what's going on but also firmly in place to make sure that all assets and the next steps are done correctly so so really and and you know correct me if I'm wrong um it it sounds like you come in whether it's at the estate you know in the initial estate planning process or you know Farther Along um into the you know Administration process and you you're looking for um potential security
21:41 vulnerabilities that um that then you know either you can address or you can at least alert um other people to address within their areas of expertise does that does that sound very that you just defined risk navigation in this setting um and in my mind in a again optimal setting we start when risk man or when the estate managers start we we're part of that initial discussion and we should be a part of the team all the way through full dissemination of assets and ensuring that no uh there may be bad feelings but
22:17 make sure there's no bad actions uh involved with it so um you know again in my work I'm typically dealing with financial issues administrative issu issues legal issues and um I I was um um offered an assignment um a few months ago um it it was the one I I mentioned um after three years of will had been declared fraudulent and there's there's this house and um so I called up a friend of
22:52 mine who specializes in probate real estate just to you know kind of go over the situation with him um in preparation that if I you know if I were appointed you know we would want to turn around and sell the house and you know Etc and the first thing he said to me is is the house occupied and I said good question I don't know and he said well he said here in California especially we have such a high instance of squatters he said do you have any sense of what's going on with that and I said
23:28 no didn't even you know cross my mind he said well I recommend that you you know touch base with the potential client on this because you know it's all good and well to get appointed um and and and explain to them that you're going to act as quickly as possible to to administrate the the estate but if there's a squatter in there um you know that is not necessarily an easy issue to to solve no it is that you this is this goes well well beyond Estate Management and especially in Western Coastal States it's gotten because of the way the laws
24:03 have been written uh I live up in Washington state so uh between you and me on the coast where we Encompass a lot of this um and there are legal yet unconventional methods to manage squatters in uh both for property managers estate managers it requires a team that comes in and listens to the estate or property manager needs and what they're state is versus trying to come in and just say I'm a white knight I'm here to save the day um it's understanding the local laws uh what we can employ from uh already existing
24:41 assets that your tax dollars go to and it's not as Doom and Gloom as the media might make it for you you seem you get on certain um certain platforms and it certainly seems like there's nothing you can do I I have a hard time with the word never or can't um we I I just don't believe in them there's going to be something we can do and oddly enough and this is the one I'm just stunned that more people don't think about is going in and just having a conversation with the people that are squatting how how often that step is
25:18 overlooked just having a friendly conversation I'm not here to throw you out or anything like that I just want to understand what your situation is maybe we can entice you to a better situation ation um having some empathy for both sides of it whether it's uh whether it's uh an Insidious environment or not but at least on behalf of the uh estate management team or Property Management looking at it from both sides and coming up with Solutions where um we don't have to go to court we don't have to get um Mass we don't have to get massive
25:53 property damage all these different things they have the most expedient approach and sometimes that starts with just a good conversation but unfortunately that does that gets overlooked quite a bit where we see it the most is in Property Management with rentals uh that could be a real nightmare that can cost property managers millions of dollars in some cases right uh it certainly has an application here um and the other one that some folks uh we had this happen twice now uh where we got brought in is unexpected wealth at the latter half of Life how many people are out there playing Lottery oh
26:29 wow um and it makes wow it is a big part now fortunately the folks at the lotteries and stuff like that have gotten really good about telling new winners these are things you need to do right now um but it adds a whole another wrinkle to the whole thing or it could be um maybe even not the lottery but the beneficiary you're representing in uh State Management they receive as a beneficiary because people die in groups or is roughly same age groups right um a large amount of money that nobody was aware of and then suddenly or physical property
27:05 and that's where we need to make sure we're man managing it that could be as simple as uh putting up electronic surveillance as monitored because that's one thing a lot of folks don't grasp is uh if we get if we trip an alarm we identify that a squatter is trying to uh take up residents and we get law enforcement done on early it's an intruder not a squatter but there is a lot depending on where you live and how that's interpreted there's a lot of different components to it but if we have video of it happening in the last few hours and we get law enforcement involved it
27:41 changes the narrative and dynamic and what's available to us to resolve it much a lot more right so um and you brought up kind of a another issue here and that is um people who essentially receive an unexpected win fall um whether it's lottery winnings or in the case of you know somebody passing away um if you know it I have a case right now where um the beneficiary had no idea how wealthy the decedent was right and he gets a call you know one day saying hey
28:18 um you know your your your father died and and and guess what he left behind this yeah you know and it and it was it was a huge number huge number by by any definition of the word huge right um and and you know it brings to mind I I don't I don't remember the exact statistic but um I I think something like um I don't know 50% or 75% of lottery winners five years after they win the lottery all the money is gone or
28:53 you know I mean it's a very a very high statistic I've never seen a similar statistic for people who inherit wealth um although um I I remember much earlier in my life talking to a lawyer about this and and he described a similar statistic about people who inherit wealth that within a few years all the inherited wealth is gone um so I mean is is that an issue with which you get involved and and if
29:28 so you know how how what does your involvement look like well that's certainly where I would um I would say on multiple fronts the first one is I would have com so say you brought me in to do an assessment on that case there and my first question would be is is your firm already assisting them in wealth management and if not I'm sure you've got better contacts for your immediate area that uh you'd bring them in if you say know and this is in pipy you know BFE and do you have contexts then I'd
30:03 reach to my network and see if we can make sure we have a wealth manager who's making sure uh inheritance taxes are being identified they're managing their wealth on the backside for Investments uh all the things that you do way better than I do um but we would make sure that those uh those experts are brought in but on the physical side uh these people don't realize how much of a Target they have just become this goes beyond the family piece uh if the obituary is poorly written or there's a if it's a bigname person
30:39 celebrity and it goes up on headlines and says XYZ celebrity passes gives all their wealth to Sun well he just painted a Target on sun and a lot of people don't think about that if it's someone who's not accustomed to living in that level of wealth it is a very uh difficult challenging and potentially dangerous transitionary period uh I'll give an example of one uh individual I had up here in Washington State uh wasn't an inheritance but he had a windfall from a very successful business deal in
31:15 Tech and I'll never forget I he went to go meet him he's like hey my um Pro my wealth manager said you're good to go can we meet I meet him at a Starbucks of all places and I thought that was a little a lot I figured I'd be going to some big corporate office guy shows up in a beat up old F-150 and walk gets out in car hearts and everything else and this is the tech Mogul the multi-millionaire knocking on billionaire I just talked I talked to on the phone and he doesn't grasp what his wealth does to people who want to
31:50 victimize him they had just no it really didn't register uh and that was one of the things I had to start assisting me on is like it doesn't matter what your perception of yourself and the world is the world now has a different perception of you that sadly endangers you and your family fortunately you have the wealth to be able to mitigate that in a way um that that risk we can mitigate that risk in a way that it shouldn't impact you but we need to talk about how you're rolling about you know and that that's a that would be my number one conversation with them even if uh our Consulting and
32:26 assistants never left beyond the all right you've inherited this uh windfall and here's some basic safety measures I I honestly believe that training and education should if not every time always be at least a discussion piece of it whether they employ us or not or bring us on retainer um I want them to have that education so they're at least aware of the threats as they develop okay I'm going to take just a break here for a moment because and and we'll pick up our conversation in a minute but um I just want to remind everyone this is uh trust and Estates
33:03 weekly um as I mentioned at the beginning of the show we're here every Monday at 10: amm Pacific time and if you are involved in uh estate planning or trust and and probate Administration I encourage you to consider joining our Linkin group it's called trust and Estates experts and it's there that we as professionals um have the opportunity to share our knowledge with each other um and perhaps more importantly when we have a question that is either outside
33:41 of our area of expertise or maybe it's it's it's kind of in our lane but it's something you know we're not 100% convinced that that we um have a good solution for we can run it by other people and get their input so I encourage you to join our our L again our LinkedIn group trust and Estates experts just go to LinkedIn search that name and request to join and I will be happy to admit you so um going back to my guest Blair Dell Blair and I have been talking about risk navigation for
34:16 Estate Planning and we were just talking Blair about the situation where someone uh takes on um uh or or someone re receives a you know a great deal of wealth and it really changes the context of their life now I'm gonna kind of throw something for my own practice out at you and again you're you're changing my perspective on this topic so I I have a situation where um a beneficiary you know he he he in this case he got a you know large sum of
34:53 money and um um one of the things he's always wanted was a very expensive truck um I want to say I think it's a Ford Raptor maybe it was like a $100,000 plus truck I'm great truck I mean I don't know the world of trucks frankly um but it it strikes me that you know this is just you know he he's you know youngish guy married you know couple of kids right living a a typical middleclass
35:30 American life and now all of a sudden there's this you know very expensive vehicle uh parked parked in I guess in front of his house or maybe it's in a garage I don't know but but certainly people are seeing it you know driving in and out what would you see as being the security concerns that come from even for people who don't know that he's inherited you know a chunk of money um but now there's a vis there's visible evidence that you know something has changed for him financially what do you see as being the
36:08 uh risk navigational issues in a situation like that well you hit it on the head you don't have to be a detective but that is certainly a clue um the uh as I walk into it without actually doing a full assessment the very first thing I'm going to actually look at if someone's throwing up red flags if they just came the money is uh cyber that's going to be the softest easiest access to where they will be victimized um that from moving from there we can discuss uh their physical environment you know our with their neighborhood doing an assessment of uh
36:44 the house things of that nature but my biggest thing I'm probably going to look at after cyber is just the mindset of the person they may need to have a um I used I used to call it in the military the big brother noie moment they need somebody to grab and say all right your life has changed and you need to hear it from someone who you know uh is interested in your well-being that this is uh what you're doing right now hey go get your great truck that no one saying you shouldn't right right but let's talk about um should that be in your name or do you have enough wealth
37:22 right now that we should be getting a wealth manager involved that sets up a living trust slash or LLC nonprofit some other way to shelter the assets that you're bringing on there's a there's a multitude of ways that's a different podcast I'm certain uh but uh that's something I would be getting with them is do you have smart people protecting you your money and your assets now on the physical side of it um at a minimum this person needs to have some sort of surveillance package that's monitored to that goes beyond the classic uh calling 911 911 is no near as effective as it
37:58 used to be uh we were led to believe uh especially in the western states because uh the ways laws have been uh Gone recently defunding of the police if it's not a uh violent action in motion uh response times are not going to be there for that person so and then also looking talking with them listen hey you do live have this much money now and is now being managed by these wealth managers should you be living where you're living right now uh should you consider getting uh a home a little more commiserate with what you've done here and having a gated
38:34 community different other assets like that so it's so interesting because where I where I thought you were going to go with that in the beginning was not at all so here's this physical manifestation of wealth and the first place you went was greater cyber vulnerability it it I never would have thought of that and but then when you said it of course immediately it it's the obvious place to go right because you know here here he is with his new and and I don't mean
39:09 this pejoratively at all he's got his new toy right um and and and you know look good for him like like you said I mean absolutely listen I've alwaysed enjoy I mean there's no there's no point in you know um still the you know 30-year old F-150 when you know when you don't want to um but uh yeah immediately then um you you go for the St soft target which is um you know identity theft or you know whatever else is there
39:47 um and and it's it it it seems it seems like a blind spot until you know someone with your background um identifies it so yeah fascinating fascinating stuff um we've got maybe another I want to say five or 10 minutes um share with us if you would um one other um risk that um you think you know we need to be aware of as we deal with our Estate Planning and and sort of the after results of that yeah I hate to end on a bad note
40:22 but the one that I'm most passionate about uh and I hope people consider is hospice care um if they bring in a if the situation is developed end of life where hospice or a uh inh home nursers involved some sort of checks and balances to make sure that that person is above board now that could start on the front end with a good um uh uh background checks things of that nature vetting uh I do believe there should be some form of to use a uh not appropriate term but one that
40:58 people would understand a nanny cam type thing identifying um that the perform uh the actions being done are uh appropriate and that that person knows they're being monitored and keep them a little bit above board that uh that ounce of prevention will go a long ways uh I don't want to get into the details but it was a very tragic case we dealt with down in not too far from you where um prior military veteran done well for himself um family thought they were doing everything they could for him got him the best care everything else and uh
41:33 in the wake of his passing the understanding of just how um brutal and tragic uh his last days were until uh without them right there uh or even when they were there and then moments after um and how much assets were lost the emotional and physical turmoil the individual must have uh gone through through M it it it is a big part of why I have reached out to more and more estate managers wanting to be offer my services
42:09 and if nothing else as you're giving me the opportunity and I'm thankful for to make people aware of it and thinking about it whether I'm involved or not uh to be mindful of what those last days are and to be able to face their uh end of life in with dignity uh and not endure what that uh hero of our country had to endure for those last weeks of his life right right you know just to endorse what you're saying one of my longest standing friends uh his father um you know he
42:46 grew up here in La um and his father was um after a while unable to take care of himself and so my my friend who uh I I think was living in Houston um when that happened you know he wasn't here so they you know his father brought in um a uh you know a caregiver and you know it was several months later that my friend and his brother found out that his father was being you know stolen blind practically by this person she had ingratiated herself to him to to you know to the the
43:21 you know her her patient so to speak and um all all of a sudden the account numbers weren't adding up right um now fortunately for them you know they were on top of it in the sense that they were reviewing his accounts on a regular fairly regular basis and so they caught it pretty quickly um but the trauma that it caused the father when they basically said to him you know this this woman is stealing from you and she's got to go um and um and then they suggested she should be prosecuted and and and the
43:58 father at that point the father I guess pretty much lost it and so they had to give up on that idea the the emotional turmoil of you know of the prosecution of this woman his attitude was you know okay she took the money just I you know Let it go kind of thing right and and to the son's credit they did uh you know their father was more their father's emotional well-being was more important than the money um but um it it I I know it's stuck in their craw as we said because here's
44:33 someone who she'll go and do it to somebody else I mean that's the bottom line right I mean that that's how these things work so um I I'm just curious and and because we need to we need to wrap things up here in a minute or two you know H how have you dealt with the cross currence in all of these risk navigations where the emotional issues are in essence pitted against the financial issues and and let's face it not everybody waights those two the same right so for some people hey you know
45:10 money is King and and uh you know your feelings on this you know be darned as as they say so H as someone who works in this realm how how do you navigate that what is a somewhat dichotomous situation well interesting enough that's why we use the term risk navigation not mitigation or elimination uh and I truly believe you the how in it is I have two ears and two eyes and one mouth for a reason uh starting into every one of these things with just honest uh open and active
45:45 listening that listening to all parties trying to understand where everybody's coming from very similar to what I've started out doing in Iraq and Afghanistan where I'm talking to tribal elders and potentially Taliban and all these different things just learning about the environment bringing it on in as a um very now interested third party uh and my interest is in uh navigating the risks and making sure everybody comes out as well as we can on the backside so honestly the best number one thing is listening we don't do it well enough uh in most cases and I that's
46:21 where we start and then that gives us the tools and information I would say to pick the right tools to manage the problem very good well well Blair I I appreciate you coming on the show so much and and really helping helping us delve into what I think is a uh an area that is almost routinely overlooked in in the estate planning and and and and estate Administration area um and I I I have I feeling we could go on for you know another hour citing you know ever
46:58 more vulnerabilities um and and perhaps we'll we we'll have you back um to to talk about some of those so um so for for those of you who would like to learn more about what Blair is doing um I'll put his contact information in the show notes and that way um we we'll get your your website email address if you want to post a telephone number we'll put that all of that in the show notes I encourage you to get in touch with Blair and take advantage of the experience and
47:34 the knowledge that he brings to bear in this subject so as is the case with all of my guests you know he's not going to brag on himself so I'm G to do the Shameless plug but but you know this this is a man who has handled similar types of issues in a no kidding combat environment okay and so um uh if if if you've never heard about just How Deeply um Marines respect their dock which is their Navy Corman um the the
48:09 relationship is really Beyond closeness and that's what I I I know uh because i' I've known a number of Corman um over my years in the Navy and and afterwards this is what Blair brings to the table so when he when he says the first thing I do is is listen and listen actively um I I guarantee you a large percentage of the most effective therapists in the Navy and the Marine Corps are navy Corman so I I I had them dealing with
48:46 certain things on shipboard out in the field um they can oftentimes get through where um a a you know an officer Psych ologist or or even a chaplain like me just for whatever reason wasn't able to break break through the you know the Clutter or the emotion or whatever so so Blair Thank you so much for coming on the show today and and talking about these issues with us if if you'll hang tight for a minute I'm going to wrap things up and then we can talk for a minute offline so um first of all for
49:21 those of you who joined us today um thank you very much it's always a treat to see we've we got people watching us live and the the numbers were a little higher today I think that was probably due to our guest and the interest of in the topic tomorrow at 10: am Pacific time is my show business lessons from the military and I am going to be talking about uh turn turning defeat into Victory it is the uh anniversary of the Battle of the Alamo and so I'm going to be pulling some some business lessons
49:58 from uh what happened in that uh famous epic EP epic b battle and then on Wednesday at 10: a.m. my show people making money again these are all Pacific time and I'm going to be talking about the idea of what of understanding what business are you in so this is a classic classic business problem that at a time of Rapid change like now with AI and and and all the other things going on in the economy is something we need to pay very
50:35 very close attention to so I invite you to join me on Wednesday at 10 a.m. Pacific Time BL uh Blair one last thank you for for joining me and uh wishing you all a wonderful rest of the day and signing off as I always do Marie you are my bell courage at all times