0:03 Who are you? And where are you going? What do you want? For the next 24 minutes, we're going to design and attain your ideal life. On the Way to Wow Show. Together, we'll find the ideal path to get you back on the track to success and happiness. On the Way to Wow Show with your host,
0:38 Kevin Bemel. This week on the Way to Wow, we're going to talk to a friend of mine from my Navy days, Father Christopher Allen. Chris has taken a journey from a family that wasn't particularly religious to becoming a priest in the Orthodox Christian Church. And along the way, I think he's come up with some thoughts and insights that can help us grow more deeply spiritual.
1:18 So today, I'm very pleased to have a long-standing friend of mine as a guest on the Way to Wow Show. Father Christopher Allen is an Orthodox Christian priest, although he didn't start out that way. He was actually an Anglican priest and then converted to Orthodox Christianity a little bit later in life. I met Chris when he relieved me as as chaplain in Okinawa, Japan and we went Okinawa went from having only one rabbi to only one Orthodox Christian priest. That's And they were lucky to have either one, let me tell you. There aren't too many of us, either
1:54 one of us, um, in the military these days. So, uh, Chris is now is now the rector and I'm I'm going to read this at Saint Joaquin and Anna Orthodox Church. Is that right? In San Antonio, Texas. And in addition to that, he also is an instructor at the Defense Language Institute on, uh, Lackland Air Force Base. Chris and his wife, uh, Matushka Nona have two sons. One of your sons is in the military now, is that right? No, actually he he decided not to go to the military. He's he's going a civilian
2:30 route instead. Oh, okay. So, uh, but but you know, much farther along in their lives than they were when we met all those many years ago. So, um, Chris, you know, one of the things I find interesting is how someone finds a path to the priesthood. It's it's not a particularly common vocation these days. What what was what what is your story in that regard? Uh, yeah, it it went through many, sort of,
3:05 uh, twists and turns. As I was raised in a household with no particular religion. Um, but when, uh, we moved from one part of town to another in the part of Connecticut I lived in, um, I found myself, uh, as a neighbor to, uh, a young fellow who was about my age. He asked me to come to church with him and uh, it was a local congregational church, what we find in most street corners in Connecticut. Um, and and it sparked something in me. I had always had a a spiritual longing, um, but I didn't know quite what it was. And this kind of sparked something in me. And little by little I I had a sense
3:41 that I had a calling to some kind of public public ministry. I didn't know how to formulate it at that point, but um, uh, as as time went on, um, I I explored many different spiritual directions, but ultimately came back to, um, uh, I guess the, uh, what I had I had been first introduced to, which was which the Christian faith, and um, became more and more drawn to the liturgical aspect of that, uh, ultimately moving into the Episcopal Church, and my wife and I, um, both are growing together in faith. We both came from two sort of
4:17 different paths in the Christian fold. Um, and, uh, we got to a point where at one point I I was, uh, sort of trying to decide what to do with my professional life, and I I told her, "I think I was called to the ministry." And she had a very interesting reaction. She said, "Well, I wouldn't go to any church where you were the minister." And I Fortunately, she's she has since changed her tune. Um, so, uh, as and indeed has attained the Orthodox Church and has the title of priest's wife in the Russian Church and it's called Matushka, so she's Matushka
4:53 uh, which means mama, and and priests are Batushka, which is papa, basically, so, um, uh, but, um, as we sort of moved in through the liturgical division of Christianity, we became more and more convinced that the heart of Christian Christian life was in the Orthodox Church, and and so we sort of synopsized that that's how we ended up where we are. So, I've been since serving as an Orthodox an Orthodox priest since 2006. So, it it it's it's interesting what you said about your wife and you somehow being on a similar spiritual path and
5:28 yet and yet different. How how common do you find that among people who are who who have felt that spiritual spark and are trying to to nourish it? I think, in my experience, it seems to be quite common. Um Uh you know, as you know, as as chaplains we do a lot of couples counseling and and one of the things that I discovered with many of the couples that I worked with was that they were they might have uh I guess if I could put it before sort of a spiritual longing and desire for God, uh
6:03 but they have either by by dint of their background or uh just their separate experiences have have come to it in a different way and are still trying to sort of formulate what it means to have a spiritual life together as a couple, to find unity in that. Um and for some it works more easily than others. Some people find they're on a closer uh trajectory and others are all sort of more divergent. Um but but I think as long as they both acknowledge that they're that they're they're seeking after God and and and and and and life with God, then um that
6:39 will help sort of continue to pull them together and and and forge them into a kind of bond that's a kind of unifying spiritual life in the couple. But I think it is quite common that divergent experiences in the past. So, that leads I think into the next logical question, which is what about when children are involved? Um maybe not necessarily small children who perhaps would go along with the flow, you know, whatever mommy and daddy are doing. Uh uh how how does how does that impact I mean people who are on that spiritual journey? Yeah, it's a very good question. And I
7:15 think uh kind of a case in point might be a family I now know quite well because it's the the family of my daughter-in-law and they actually went through a a process like that where they had they had come from a um uh it's from a evangelical Protestant tradition. This family had 10 children, so there are many children involved. Uh and uh several um uh natural to the couple and several adopted, uh but they've been coming out of an evangelical tradition and for various reasons were were drawn into Orthodoxy and their children had just
7:51 become very comfortable in in the Baptist church where they were. Um, but the parents made the decision and and and were very gentle but but firmly directive in this saying, this is the the path that we need to take is is this, um, to to enter the Orthodox church. And um, the children, although in some ways distressed by this because they made friendships in the other church, um, were were obedient and um, and and I think respectful of their parents' decision, not always happy, but
8:27 but willing to um, acknowledge their parents' authority and to to follow them. And and ultimately, uh, by I think by virtue of the fact that the parents were, um, gentle and understanding and and willing to to to listen to their children, um, and acknowledge their their concerns and at the same time be be firm in in following the path, it gave the children confidence that to follow them and trust that that things could work out in a in a positive way. And and indeed it did ultimately. All the children have now followed them into the church and and now very content with it. Um, so that I
9:04 mean that's a a good case in point. There are others where I suppose it might be more distressing or less successful. So, we've been talking about following this journey in the in the context of a group. What about for a single person who, you know, perhaps they come from a family with no religious background or or no background of involvement with God, it would seem to me to potentially, uh, be a very lonely journey, um, to be perhaps even a scary journey where you're risking, you know, losing
9:39 the the love and respect of of of people you've known all or a good portion of your life. Would you What are What are your thoughts about about, you know, this same process for someone who's single? Uh you're right. It can be sometimes a a scary, almost a um a a threatening and uncertain kind of path to take when one is branching out uh separately from uh from what their family has done um and and is not certain about the reaction of the family and loved ones.
10:14 Um but I but I think and I would advise people who are treading that path um to uh remain true to the calling they're feeling and feeling in their hearts that the relationship that you forge with God is the one which ultimately will have the most profound and lasting impact on our lives both here and and in and eternity. And um most faith traditions will say something to the effect that by following me, by making the choice to to follow the the the the truth of the
10:50 of the spiritual journey which you're called um that this ultimately will be uh a blessing beyond any blessing you can count in this life. Now, it's it's still a difficult thing cuz you don't want to um divide yourself from the people you care about, but at the same time um to if you are true to yourself and true to the the spiritual calling that you're experiencing uh then the people who are most important to you will ultimately still, I hope, respect you for the fact that you have remained true to that. So
11:25 what what would or do you say to someone who just flat-out denies the existence of a spiritual component to human beings. I find that very difficult because it's uh quite honestly it's it's beyond my conception. I I can't conceive of a world or a life without that element, without that component. Indeed it's it's it's a central to life. Uh even even in my own experience before, as I said, I was raised in a household with no particular religion and yet there was no sense ever
12:00 never believed at any time that there was an absence of God or there was no spiritual element of of life, even if I couldn't express it very clearly. Um so when people when people express that to me, I yes um I I can only say I talk about it in practical terms. I I listen with patience and I suppose I ask them, "What is it that sustains you? What is it about What is it that is the center of your life? What is it that um what's what strengthens you?" And and it seems to me that it that if
12:36 you probe deeply enough into those questions, then I think for most people it becomes very difficult not to begin to discover a spiritual component of life. For those people who say there is no spiritual element to their lives, they simply not have recognized it and and don't know how to identify it. Um so I suppose that would be my response. So So then peel that for us a little bit. For for someone who is not in touch with the spiritual aspect of their lives or of their life,
13:11 what are What do you see as being the benefits to to discovering that aspect of themselves? Well, I I think first and foremost it's it is and as far as I believe, that what is truly most central, most integral to to our very being. So, so to not acknowledge it or to not be able to recognize it to some degree within oneself, uh is to leave oneself empty and disconnected. Um I I think that the spiritual component of our lives is what connects us to to to those around us, to the world,
13:49 uh to creation, uh to the creator. And and to live without that, to live without an awareness of that is to live in a very empty place, uh a very dark place, I think. It doesn't mean that there are people who are who don't have a spiritual sense who can't in some ways live live contentedly, but I think it's much more difficult. I think it's it's a very uh potentially very shallow thing. Um so, in in speaking to people who who experience that or not experience the spiritual elements of their lives, again, I would I would ask those questions I mentioned before, and and
14:26 suggest to them uh exactly what I said, that there there is a much deeper richness uh to the experience of life, uh and a potential for for for greater understanding of one's place in in the cosmos, uh when one is open to the spiritual dimension of of life and is is open to the movement of of the creator in one's one's life. Have you see uh you know, go coming through what um we've been dealing with the last, you know, 9, 12 months,
15:02 whatever it's been, um have you seen a change in the way people approach their spiritual lives? And if so, would you characterize that change? Yeah, I I have in some ways. I think um uh obviously, as as an active, you know, A priest, uh the first thing that I see is the the response of my parishioners. And it's been a a struggle between faith and fear, I think. Where there's a there's a fear in in to
15:37 some degree reasonable and to some degree perhaps somewhat unreasonable of the risks involved with with the disease and and obviously I'm not trying to discount the risks involved with the disease, especially for those who are vulnerable. But um there is a there is a need to to trust to trust God in the face of um risk and danger and dismay. And so there's been a real struggle in people
16:12 who are sort of tearing their hearts between I I'm worried, will my action cause harm or risk to someone else? Will I be in danger? Um at the same time a desire to to be part of the the worshipping community. And and so it's it's kept people away, it's made people tentative. Um in a couple of cases that I'm aware of it's even caused people simply to to to leave entirely. Um because they don't know what else to do. They're they're convinced that the risks are too great to even participate in in even a moderate way. Um
16:48 So and I and I think that's sort of reflected in larger society and it seems like there's there's a polarization happening here. There are those who who are are adamant that that nothing will stand in the way of of entering into worship and and and being part of their faith communities and and they're and they're absolutely convinced of this and so they they uh it's almost almost a rebellious attitude in in some cases. And others who are absolutely terrified. Uh and and I I that's it doesn't seem to be a lot middle ground. It seems like you sort of swing one direction and swing the other direction. And again, I see that sort of the microcosm where I
17:24 am where where there's there's not a lot of either or. And there's there's there's some in the middle. Um or I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. There's there's kind of a lot of either or. Either I have people who are absolutely dedicated that come no matter what, or some who just no matter how many precautions we take, they take the they they won't they won't come. They'll watch online, right? They won't but they won't come in. So, that's it. I'm going to ask you to to sum up here. Um if if you could give uh someone one piece of advice for engaging more deeply in in their spiritual life, and give us,
18:00 you know, 30 seconds um from from Father Christopher Allen, how how can someone do that? Okay. Um I would say what I say to even my parishioners, take if you have to take 3 seconds when you get up and and be still. If you don't have a prayer to say, if you don't if you're not part of the faith community, you're not a registered Christian, take 3 seconds and be still. We are nothing but busy and emotional constantly in our life. And the only way to begin to to encounter God, to encounter our
18:35 relationship with with the creator of the cosmos and his creation, is is to stop for just a few moments. So, even if you start with 30 seconds, if you're so busy, all you can do is you do 30 seconds. Stop and be still for 3 seconds. And this just that seed can plant the desire for more of that stillness and even to begin to utter prayers, to to find someone with whom to have fellowship and share that that that spiritual life and and desire. So, so if you can't do anything else, stop. Take that 30 seconds. And be still. Wonderful. Well, we have your thing to put on our
19:11 collage. Oh, that's right. It's right here. And this is this is your your your grandmother, I believe, right? Great great grandmother. A great grandmother. Um tell us just real quickly the a bit of the story. Yeah, she was um she had a a tragic life and and died young. Um she uh was sent to a mental institution uh for reasons that are sort of sort of obscure. The family kind of hid that and made a different story about it. Um and and I and I tell that not because I want to sort of Well, it it's because she was someone
19:48 whose life was essentially sort of cut off from her so cut off from her family from she lost her husband in a train wreck in 1915. She couldn't see her sons. Uh and uh and she and she died sort of having been sent out to to live with the cousins after she'd been released from the mental institution. Um and and I and and yet she was a gentle soul and she was um in a sense taken away from her own family of birth and and put in another family that were where she didn't fare well. And and I think for her because um there's no reason that anyone's life has to be that lonely or
20:24 tragic. And I want to emphasize that that that when I think of her, I think of her loss and I think of her loneliness and and I don't want people to to have to experience that. Beautiful. Well, we're going to put her up here on our collage. I think we're going to we're going to put her among some good friends. Chris, it was it was great seeing you. Thank you so much for being on the Way to Wow show. Blessings blessings blessings to you and
20:59 your family. Kevin, thank you so much. It's been a real pleasure talking with you and seeing you again. I want to thank my guests for this week's Way of the World show, Father Christopher Allen. I think we should heed his advice to stop and be still for just 30 seconds a day to give our spirits a chance to connect to something beyond ourselves. Next week is a very special episode, especially for me, because we're going to be talking or I'm going to be talking to my daughter about a subject that's
21:36 troubled me for many, many years, and that is how much she likes and how much time she spends playing video games online. Maybe she can tell us something that I haven't thought of. Who knows? Courage at all times, my friends. Marie, you're still my bell.