0:02 Who are you and where are you going? [Music]
0:18 >> Well, that was a little weird. It hasn't done that before. An echo on the bumper. But anyway, hello and welcome to uh Trust and Estates Weekly. I'm your host, Kevin Bemel, and I'm here every Monday at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time to talk about estate planning and and trust and uh probate administration. Um, primarily for uh people who like myself and my guest are professionals in this space. Um but also for for you if if you are working on your own estate plan or maybe you're in the midst of um
0:55 acting as the executive for uh for someone and and you're just trying to figure out what's going on. So this is a good place to come and and learn about all the ins and outs of estate planning and administration.
1:09 >> So this morning um very happy to welcome my guest Paul Frerieded. Uh Paul is the founder of I made the arrangements and we actually met through a mutual friend Jeff Krilly uh who uh is is a genius at at at sort of finding people who among other things have very interesting businesses and help and help bring them to the attention of uh of of the larger public that and uh I know Jeff helped me
1:44 with that uh some years back I was doing a bunch of radio appearances. So uh so Paul, first of all, welcome to the show.
1:51 >> Kevin, thanks so much for having me.
1:53 >> Yeah. So start out, you know, I often use this as an as an entry question to my guests on my show, People Making Money, but I think it's it's particularly apt here. I don't imagine as a kid you were thinking to yourself, you know, when I grow up, I want to create a website that helps people, right, make final arrangements for their loved ones. First of all, there probably weren't websites when we were kids. I know there wasn't when I was I don't want to date you, right? But
2:29 so um give us a little bit of of your background so we can get a sense of you know how how it is you ended up uh starting this new venture. So I'll kind of preface with I'm kind of an idea guy. Um I I've been involved in a bunch of different businesses over the course of my life and um uh but this is this is pretty interesting. So, um I I've always been very big on funerals paying less respects. Um it it's
3:06 something that was instilled in me early on. And uh look, you know what I what I truly believe is that you know, look, you uh you never get a second opportunity to say goodbye to somebody, right? Uh and when you start thinking about life cycle events, uh the birth of children, weddings, things like that, listen, you'll you can get a second opportunity to attend somebody's wedding, right?
3:31 >> Unfortunately, yes,
3:32 >> you you you'll never get a second opportunity to say goodbye. And uh I I've always thought about um funerals as being um kind of the last opportunity you get to say goodbye to your loved ones. Uh this is the last impression you're going to make on your friends, your family. Uh and yet nobody really takes control of that. Um I remember going back and I'll date myself now. So, uh, when when VCRs came out, right, and you know, you had those kind of and and
4:07 and they were kind of big bulky video recorders when they first came out.
4:12 >> Yeah.
4:13 >> But still a lot a lot more streamlined than, you know, dad's super eight with the, you know, bulbs and everything else. Um, and and one of the things that I had thought about as soon as I got one was, you know, this would be cool because now I can kind of film my own eulogy and have that kind of stored away.
4:33 >> Um, I I didn't want to the last impression that I was making on my loved ones. I I didn't want that to be, you know, look, God willing, I'll live to 95, 100 years old, but I didn't want that to be the image. So, I thought, you know, while I'm kind of young and spry, put together a nice video that could be played at this end of life celebration. So, I've been thinking about this for a long time. Um, I uh it amazes me that people ignore this topic. Um, look, you and I spent some time on the phone a couple weeks ago and and I I thought that was great.
5:08 it was just, you know, the conversation just flowed and uh I I appreciate your perspective. Um so, you know, when you start thinking about these statistics, right, and this is as as recent as this year, right, that 24% of Americans have a will, right? Um it's it's mind-blowing. uh you know and when you start thinking about things like life insurance or even um retirement plans right um you know
5:43 less than 40% of Americans have these things and you know because uh you know when it's suggested that you know perhaps you take out a life insurance policy you know you're 30 years old and you know what you just believe you're going to be here forever and um yeah you know you'll you put it off all All right, you know, I don't need that now. I'm young. And then, of course, fast forward 30 years, you're 60 years old, and uh, you know, you got a couple of kids, you're through college, you got a mortgage, you got this. Yeah, maybe I should look for that life insurance now.
6:16 >> Well, you know, you're kind of priced out of the marketplace at that point,
6:19 >> right?
6:20 >> And then people just kind of forget about it and that's it. Um, you know, so you know, how this website kind of came about, uh, always thinking about kind of saying goodbye, always thinking about funerals and the importance of those and and then thinking about legacy and legacy planning. Um, what we know is that, you know, three three generations from now, nobody's going to remember us, right? Um there there's not much if anything I can tell you about my great
6:55 grandparents.
6:57 >> Um there's a little bit I can tell you about my grandparents. Um you know and and look you know maybe you'll have a a photograph that that may hang around for you know one or two generations but after that it's right. Mhm.
7:13 >> So, uh, my my father was a Holocaust survivor and in January of 24, my cousin and I visited Awitz. Uh, it was the 79th anniversary of the liberation of the camp. They were having a ceremony. He and I went and um spent spent about a week in Poland and Germany kind of bouncing around to some of these different camps
7:44 >> and it was really life-changing for me. um you know kind of walking through some of these facilities and uh you know the one thing that really kind of stuck with me is you know kind of walking through one of these buildings at Awitz and you know the walls were just lined with these photographs the these portraits of these kind of um empty faces
8:09 >> and I gave some thought to what their end of life planning was and what their legacy was and um really felt like I needed to do something. I didn't know what. Uh and when I got home, I started kind of putting a pen to paper, started thinking about legacy planning, started thinking about things like that. So, um started kind of putting together a concept for a website. Uh I'm not a real tech guy. I rely on my 12-year-old daughter to get me through kind of iPhone struggles.
8:44 But uh you know I um I said you know I I think I'm going to start developing a website for end of life planning. And so we started kind of playing around. We started putting this concept together. And um uh it it just started to kind of morph into something a little bigger than I had hoped or or planned. um all of the professionals that I I brought in on this uh could relate to the topic.
9:14 >> Everybody had a story. Everybody could identify.
9:18 >> Uh it's just it's amazing. So, um what started out as kind of a simple, you know, kind of funeral planner, right? Like laying out the logistics of kind of what you want your funeral or end of life ceremony to look like. Uh and for us the whole concept here was kind of end of life wishes.
9:42 >> So we labeled this document the wish capture. So you can go into the website and you can start to kind of fill in the blanks, check the boxes and create a funeral plan. And this is really just the logistics of this ceremony. Do you want to be buried? Do you want to be cremated? What you like done with your ashes? Would you like any readings? Who would you like to read them? Would you like uh who would you like as polebearers? Like all of the logistics and you know it's it's amazing, right? So I I met so many people throughout the
10:17 course of the year and a half that we were working on this and um you know one one story that really kind of stood out. So uh woman had lost her mom and she and her sister got together and they cremated mom and um they had two urns and you know they each took one and uh then a couple months later they went to mom's house and started emptying it out and they came across a legal pad with mom's funeral requirements and it laid out the casket she wanted where she wanted to be buried and you They just looked at each
10:54 other like just lost like wow right I mean they went and cremated their mother uh mom went to the extent of writing all this down which is more than most people do
11:05 >> but couldn't bring herself to talk about it
11:10 >> and and and this is what we know I mean like our generation certainly our parents right like this was this taboo topic um you know and you know we just don't talk about it So, you know, we we've kind of since become like a deathdenying culture, uh as if you know, we don't talk about it, maybe it won't happen, right? And you know, and in the meantime, you know, people are kind of left scrambling trying to figure out what to do. uh you you you talked a little bit about probate and you know when I think about
11:45 a will um you know what people need to understand is that whether you've documented this or not there's something in place for you right you know your your state has something waiting um and the one thing I can assure you of is that a state doesn't care who gets at your home.
12:11 >> So a will is so important and okay and people need to understand this as well that um if if the cost of preparing a will is the deterrent. Um you can you can write it on a napkin, sign it, have it witnessed, have it notorized, file it. uh it doesn't need to be a detailed legal document,
12:39 >> but listen, any plan is better than no plan.
12:44 >> And go ahead.
12:46 >> Yeah. So, I was I was just going to observe because you've you've hit on a number of points that I think um involve this. And that is uh and and this is something I've noticed and I I think we talked about this that um prior to what I do now I was a chaplain in the Navy, right? And and it it it's it's it really has struck me over the last couple of years how how much inattention is paid to the emotional side of the work that that I
13:21 and and you know my colleagues do right because anytime I'm getting involved in a situation it means ipso facto right somebody has died Now in most cases I think the people are upset about that but in some cases they're overjoyed or some of them are over overjoyed um and while others are upset and with when there is no will and there is no end of life plan. What that tends to
13:57 do is um uh increase the depth of the emotional response because of the uncertainty that's that's there, right? and and there, you know, of the I don't know um probably close to 150 guests I've had on this show, I think less than 10% of them um have dealt with, you know, these these kinds of aspects. And it's not to put the guests down, it's just that we f we are focused so much on the financial
14:34 side of what happens when someone dies. um that that kind of overtakes everything else. And yet, at least in my experience, maybe this is just my practice, the emotional side of things is is what makes dealing with the financial side of things much more difficult. You know, I think that, you know, I I have these conversations often and sites like ours, work that you do, right? The these are
15:13 these are tools that people can use to kind of reduce the stress,
15:19 >> right, associated with the grief, right? Grief being the emotion, right? And and I think grief is a beautiful emotion, right? Grief shows shows love.
15:32 >> Absolutely.
15:33 >> And nobody wants to eliminate that. But when you think about the stress that's associated with that grief, when there are no plans in place, it just it's everything just kind of explodes. It's um listen things like this story we just talked about, right? Bury pre-made, right?
16:01 >> What what should we dress dad in? What kind of a box should we get dad? What? Right. Where should we bury dad? All of this. Um listen, no loving, caring human being wants to leave this chaos behind, right? And and I think if people really knew about kind of some of that chaos, right? Look, planning uh for your end of life. It this is not morbid, right? This is really an act of love. This is an act of caring. And
16:36 you're going to provide peace of mind for your loved ones. And you know, I I I think about this all the time, right? Like I I want my I want my children, my loved ones to to mourn and to grieve as they should, right? Without having to worry about what readings, where are we going to have this celebration, what are we um so and and listen, my my kids are tired of hearing about it already. There we go. Okay, you're beach party.
17:12 You want
17:13 >> already? That's the other thing, right? You know, we we've been we've been taught this since we were kids, right? Um you know, you have a problem, you have an issue, you have a concern, talk it out, right? You've heard this, you got a problem, talk it out, talk it out, talk it out. Um, and what I know is that if people could start talking about this, they would start to feel a little more at ease with their mortality.
17:41 >> I I've I've experienced this myself. Uh, and and people around me are starting to experience it as well because I don't shut up about it. Um, and uh, look, there were there were nights where I used to I used to wake up in a cold sweat thinking about the fact that one day it's all going to be over, right? Um, but I will say that the the more I talk about it, the easier it gets.
18:08 >> There's no doubt.
18:09 >> There's no doubt.
18:10 >> For sure. Let's let's take a quick sponsor break and then we'll we'll pick it up because I want to if if it's okay, show people your website so they can see what it's all about.
18:21 >> That'd be awesome. When life brings unexpected changes, managing inherited property shouldn't add to your stress to your stress. Magnum Properties specializes in probate and trust.
18:37 >> Okay. Well, I'm going to cut that short because something something's wrong with the audio here and that that won't that won't help. So, um I I um I queued up um your website here. Let me go ahead and share the screen. And uh Oops. Yeah. So there you so you can see that and and um so so this this is your this is your website here. I made the arrangements and um talk a little bit if you would about you know uh how the
19:12 website how people can use the website um how it will help them with these issues that that that we've been talking about. So, so Kevin, if I am Am I able to grab the screen?
19:23 >> Um, am I able to share the screen with you? You know that
19:27 >> because I've got I'm sending over I know I don't know.
19:33 >> Yeah. No, I Let me look at the settings. Let's see. Video audio. Nope. I'm not able to to Oh, you wanna Let's see.
19:45 >> Can Let's see if you can see my screen now. Um,
19:50 >> okay.
19:50 >> There's there's that's what I've got when I show your screen. There it goes. Okay, here. Let me let me take this one off. Hold on one sec. Okay, there you go.
20:02 >> Okay, so you can see my screen.
20:03 >> I sure can. Uh-huh.
20:05 >> Got it. So, so this is the site and throughout the site there's a lot of good information. Um, you know, so kind of how the site works. There's a video here and again this just talks about the site itself, some testimonials. Here we have funeral resources. Uh so if you're if you're talking about end of life planning, you can click into any of these. You know, this is how you know kind of an end of life doula could help. So uh so there's definitely a
20:40 bunch of info. Why plan ahead? So there's some statistics here and you know video and again why we think this is important right
20:54 >> so a wishkeeper so again right thinking along the themes of this whole kind of final wishes concept so a wishkeeper is somebody that's going to assist you with all of these end of life arrangements think along the lines of an executive
21:12 >> okay So, you know, here's some of the things that they do for you and why you should how how you should choose uh starting the conversation again, right? Like taboo, right?
21:26 >> So, you know, so let's let's start talking about it and you know, here's some tips on how you may want to go about doing that.
21:35 >> Interesting.
21:37 >> So, this is sort of what an account would look like. So you would come in and the wish capture there are a series of questions. Um and again these are really just about the logistics of your end of life ceremony or your funeral. And it's check the box, fill in the blanks kind of thing. You can leave some more details here if you'd like. And you'll just walk through
22:12 Mhm.
22:12 >> Right. And you know, once you're done, save and exit,
22:20 >> send your responses. So now the system will now email you back a hard copy of that. And I'll show you what that looks like. So now you have a a document that you can share with your loved ones. And we took that same logic and said,"Well, let's create a will builder." And this is the same thing. This is a fill-in-theblank check the box document. And it would take you 15 to 30 minutes tops to fill this out.
22:58 Print it out, sign it, have it witnessed, notorized, file it with the county. You know, listen, of course, you know, you want to check and make sure that um you know what what your area requirements may be. Uh um but you know it's it's all you would need. Uh we did the same with an advanced directive. So again all your health care needs. And the nice thing about this is that
23:33 you can come back in once you create an account. You can come back in and you can make these changes and update this whenever you need. You don't have to, there's no additional fees and and we we'll talk about membership in a minute, but um so the wishkeeper, again, we talked a little bit about this. You'll invite your wishkeeper through the system, and this is really how you'll vet them. Obviously, they're going to know this is coming, but you're going to fill out their information, send them an invite, and then they'll accept and they'll take on that role.
24:05 >> Now, their key role or responsibility uh at least for the time being is to uh enter the date you pass. They'll have limited access to all the information you have here
24:22 >> while you're alive. Once they enter the date of passing, they'll have full access so they can go ahead and carry out these wishes for you.
24:32 >> Contacts. So here, add as many contacts as you'd like. Name, email address, phone number, relationship. And throughout this whole process, leave notes for your wishkeeper.
24:47 >> Create a notification of passing. So once that wishkeeper enters the date you pass, all of your contacts will get an email from you letting them know that he passed away. And you know, you think about this, and I'm sure you you've run into this from time to time, right? um you bump into a mutual friend and they'll tell you about the passing of another buddy and it's like wow I wish I would have known I would have loved to gone to the funeral
25:18 >> right
25:19 >> but again right you know families have a very short window of time to put all this together because we don't talk about this right we uh you know death always comes as a surprise right um you know regardless of age health conditions like, you know, it's like all of a sudden, so there's been no planning. Now you have 24 to 48 hours to put this end of life ceremony or this funeral together. And you're you're going to overlook some people for sure.
25:51 >> So again, you know, the the site is really about kind of taking control of this yourself. Okay.
26:00 >> Uh so here's some tips on, you know, what you may want to say in that email. Um,
26:07 >> you can write your own obituary, write your own eulogy,
26:13 >> upload a video eulogy,
26:17 >> and again, leave leave notes here for your wishkeeper. You can securely store account information here.
26:27 >> Right now, you know, you've you've experienced this, I'm sure. uh you know there's you know some account information that's missing and all of a sudden an estate gets tied up in probate and it's wow right so anything from uh email passwords to social media accounts gym memberships bank accounts utility bills anything right leave all that information here so your family knows exactly what accounts have to be closed
27:04 Final thoughts. So, here's a feature where you can come in, choose a contact, and create an email or a text message to go out after you pass.
27:16 >> So, you can set a calendar date.
27:19 >> Wow.
27:21 >> Or you can set it up to go out x amount of days after you pass. Now the thought behind this I mean listen there's there's so many things you can do here. Um and and again right a lot of people they think ah that's really that's kind of eerie. Um you know look a lot of times you know we just can't bring ourselves to say goodbye.
27:43 >> Uh and sometimes sometimes we don't know what's coming.
27:46 >> So you know prepare a goodbye letter. Let people know what they meant to you. Um, you know, this is really some some interesting stuff, you know, and uh and and this feature came about. Uh, so I was I was adopted and I was adopted at six days old and through the powers of online DNA sources, I I made contact with my birth mother about seven years ago. And here's a woman who gave birth to me way back when. She got pregnant at 16, delivered me at 17. Um,
28:24 and the only people that knew about this were her, her mother, her father, and her gynecologist, right? Um, that was it. Um, she kept this a secret from everybody. She never spoke of this. Uh her and I carried on a phone relationship for about three years and um she had been married for a number of years. She has two other children.
28:58 >> She's never told her husband about this. She's never told her children about this. She's never spoken to a therapist about this.
29:05 >> And I I couldn't help but think, you know, how carrying something like this your whole life would affect you. Um, so I thought, you know, it'd be great to have a tool where somebody could, if they wanted to, just clean their soul, right? Um, just, you know, go go through a little cleansing before you before you leave. Um, so, you know, there's a lot lot to do with a feature like this,
29:36 >> photos and videos, and again, create a montage of photos at the end of my life. So again, leave these notes for your wishkeeper. Uh we sync with Spotify. So if you want to create a playlist, you can do that.
29:55 >> And then anything else you want to leave behind, leave all that information here.
30:02 >> You know, so many times, right, people will people will pass and um you know, there's there's cars, right? It's like, where's the title to the car? Nobody knows. Mhm.
30:12 >> People end up having to junk the car because they can't find the title to it. Um, so, you know, all that information just plug it in here and then ultimately what you can do is you can create an online legacy. You know, we kind of touched base on that before, right? Where, you know, a couple of generations down the road you're kind of forgotten, right? So now you can create an online legacy and you know people want to Google you know 100 years from now you
30:48 know I had this great great grandfather and see what he was all about
30:53 >> and you know and here they can listen to a video of you kind of telling your story. Um, so it's um, you know, it's it's a pretty comprehensive kind of end of life planning site.
31:10 >> Mhm.
31:12 >> Yeah, for sure. So um let's for for the for the person who's parent is reluctant to talk to them about these things,
31:30 >> right? And and the parent is not going to do it on their own. um how would you advise them to approach this and and how might um your your website help with sort of breaching that gap? I I I know for for myself um this is a subject that my mother does does not want to talk about and and she just she just won't right. Um
32:05 yeah, other people,
32:07 >> you know, maybe they're they're reluctant to talk about it, but with the right approach or the right coaching, you know, they will they will, you know, open themselves up to um you know, what what really ought to be done. So how what would you say for you know it's really like the children uh or the the other you know the loved ones of someone who you know needs to do this.
32:37 >> So it's interesting uh I I believe everybody knows somebody who has a story right
32:49 >> uh and I'll give you this example. So, I was I was talking with a um a woman recently and I was walking her through the website and she was really kind of uh moved by what we had put together and she said, you know, and while we were on this Zoom, I could see she was kind of doing something else and I was thinking, you know, she's not paying attention to me. and uh uh and then she apologized and she said, "You know, I just forwarded my mother your website." So, two weeks ago, they buried she this this
33:24 girl buried her aunt
33:26 >> and she said they thought that her aunt had made all the arrangements and taken care of all of this and then come to find out there was nothing.
33:37 >> And she said it was mayhem. it was pure chaos. Um even just just the logistics of the funeral itself. So I think the way to the way to approach it is look again this is truly an act of love. And I don't believe anybody uh any caring human being wants to leave chaos behind. They don't. They certainly they don't want to leave that for their children. But they again because this is just this topic that we don't talk
34:13 about, right? So uh to to find a to find a story to find um a friend a relative who uh has experienced this kind of loss and and chaos associated with it uh by by not planning uh is is a great way to do it. Um and and everybody I'm telling you everybody knows somebody.
34:37 >> Um and look, you know, this is really I know for me, speaking for myself, right? This is my responsibility. This is not my children's responsibility. Um the these are my affairs and these are my wants, my desires. So, um I and again I want them to be able to mourn and to grieve as they should,
35:06 >> right? Because again, what we know is there's this kind of small window and you've heard it over and over, right? like look you know in the beginning right there's a lot of crying there's a lot of tears and you know like a week later right like they start to subside a little bit and then before you know it people are back to work and uh you know it it just you know you become kind of a thing of the past like nobody's really thinking about it anymore uh you know what I don't want is I don't want my children to have to look you probate right you know that's it's a great example it's like look this could linger
35:41 on for months or years,
35:43 >> right? Could be very costly,
35:46 >> if there's siblings involved. It's like, whoa, right? So now, you know, each sibling is going to retain their own counsel and before you know it, you got lawyers fighting against each other and siblings fighting against each other and you got World War II on your hands. um if if parents knew if if if people knew that this was what's in store for their loved ones. Um they'd be more apt to to say, you know what, let's try to avoid that.
36:13 >> Yeah. So, I you know, you brought again you brought up a number of of issues and that I think are worth highlighting. Um and that is that it's really the um you know the person the person's responsibility to make all these arrangements and and and see that it's there so that their loved ones can actually have the space the the the mental space if you will to grieve. I think it's interesting to note as well that uh even if uh someone has a life insurance policy for example and and the
36:49 expectation is okay well when I die so then the policy is going to pay off and there will be money there money there for a funeral it's extremely unlikely that that uh life insurance policy is going to pay off in time to pay for funeral expenses unless you're planning a funeral you know 30 60 90 days you know from from day of death and there aren't I don't think there are any um you know funeral homes that will um uh you know perform burial services on credit. So it
37:24 means that your loved ones are going to have to pay the cost of of the funeral or of whatever is done um probably out of their pocket. Now they they can get reimbursed afterwards, but you know in the immediiacy of what's going on that is uh you know um something that's going to come up and and and two there are ways to plan for that as well. So there are uh there are insurance policies specifically designed to pay for these uh for to pay for funerals and memorial
38:00 services etc. And they do pay off essentially immediately. All you do is present a death certificate and that's pretty much it. But of course, that all has to be planned for and it has to be planned for while, you know, while you're still alive, right? Your your you know, your children, your loved ones are not going to be able to buy that policy, right, you're gone. So, um,
38:21 >> so you know, there are, uh, you know, some some more reputable funeral homes, uh, that that will accept a, uh, a life insurance policy as collateral,
38:35 >> right? Uh, so they they will go ahead and kind of extend that credit till the insurance company pays the claim. Uh but one of the things that we're adding to our site, uh we're partnering up with an insurance company to offer um kind of final expense policies.
38:56 >> So it'll be they'll be available in $5,000 denominations. So $5,000, $10,000, or $15,000. So you know, and again, you know, thinking about just a comprehensive end of life plan. Uh so hey, it's it's all paid for,
39:12 >> right? And and that's that's a big that's a big burden to take off of your loved ones so they don't even have you know it's all it's all there and done. And this is one this is one of the things I noticed from my work as a chaplain is if people are so involved making the arrangements seeing the expenses are all these things all the sort of tasks of of arranging this. They probably aren't going to grieve but it's not you know it's not as if the need goes away. It's just at some point
39:48 in the future it essentially ambushes them, right? And and so now all of a sudden they're feeling horrible. They can't figure out why. And and and oftentimes I was able to trace it back to a time where in their life where they should have had the opportunity to grieve, but for you know, logistical reasons, etc., they didn't. And now here it is a year or two, even three, four years later, and something happens that triggers that that need to grieve and there they are. Right. And I I call it ambushing because they really are for
40:24 them, like you said, it's all it's done. It's forgotten. It's I mean, it's not forgotten in the sense they never think of it, but I mean it's it's not part of their awareness,
40:34 >> right?
40:34 >> And there you go. you know, when you you you talk about the the financial implication with regard to, you know, funerals and they're they're expensive,
40:46 >> right? Uh and look, you know, it's um there there's a trend now. What what people are doing is people are donating the body to science. uh and what ultimately happens is uh you know the wherever the body ends up you know they take whatever parts they need they cremate the balance and send back the ashes. So it's you know kind of like a you know free cremation.
41:13 >> Um but you know because this is really uh it's it's interesting how many people again because we don't talk we don't plan right. So, yeah, there's more times than not that people are dying and there's no money to bury them.
41:30 >> It's it's unfortunate. Um, you know, one of the things that uh we we've been kicking around and we've been reading up on is um and we may have talked about we were on the phone a couple weeks ago. Um, Swedish death cleansing.
41:46 >> So, Swedish death cleansing or Swedish death cleaning. um obviously it started over in Sweden uh is really kind of making its way over here now and people are starting to practice this a little bit and it's really the act of kind of purging uh towards the end of your life and most people experience this right you know mom and dad pass away you go into the home and it's just like wow right you have all this stuff and what do you do with it uh and and look at everything kind of has a sentimental
42:21 value, right? It's um you know, so siblings don't want to part with anything. And you know, it just again, it's more of that kind of chaos, you know, it's like, well, well, no, but but this was dad's stapler that he used. You can't throw that away. And um you know, so uh but what people are doing now, and of course, if dad were there, he'd say, you can't get rid of it, right? So uh so people are taking control of it and and saying you know what like you know I'm not going to not going to do this to my children going to go through I'm going to start to uh you know
42:57 downsize get rid of my stuff and uh so you know they're donating or selling or giving away is uh throwing out. Mhm.
43:06 >> So, uh, you know, what we're seeing is, you know, we're seeing that like the millennials and the the Gen Zers, the Gen Xers, right? They're they're more apt to take control and and and talk about these things, plan for this, uh, than, you know, the baby boomers. The baby boomers are just it's no, no, no, we we don't we don't talk about it,
43:30 >> right?
43:31 >> No, we we got it honestly from our parents.
43:34 >> It's true. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I don't know what the conversation would be if I ever, you know, had said, "Hey, Dad, come on. Let's uh let's sit down and let's plan out your funeral."
43:46 >> You know, uh yeah, he'd throw me out of the room immediately.
43:51 >> I I think too that um uh Oh, shoot. I I I lost the thought. But um so so I know um you know for my dad um no one was anticipating that he was going to die.
44:11 >> He was in reasonably good health. You know he went in for a really a minor procedure um and something didn't go right and the next day he was gone. He was dead.
44:25 >> Right.
44:26 >> Right. And so there's a whole aspect of this I think that also oftentimes gets overlooked and that is you know we're so used to thinking of well you know I'm going to get sick I'm going to sort of linger right but I know I'm going to know what's coming up right and so you know there'll be time right but uh that is not necessarily the case one of the largest states that I'm handling there was no inkling that the deedent was going to die. He was in good health
45:01 and he just he literally just dropped dead in in a store one day and and that and that and that was it. And you know he was in the midst of doing an estate plan, all this kind of stuff, but he never got it done. And I think part of it was perhaps a reluctance to sort of face those issues. But then in the end um it was just like like it was over like that you know and and so the idea that there there is time I I think that's at least for a certain percentage of people that's a fallacy and and you
45:38 don't even have to be particularly old for that to happen. God forbid, right? you're on a ski trip and uh you know unlikely things like that happen or or even things even more tragic, you know, like like like we unfortunately hear, you know, in the news too often.
45:55 >> Um and so now you've got a a tragic situation compounded by, you know, the the chaos of of you know, not having any kind of planning for
46:09 >> and and know and that's one of the things too, right? like we and I don't know if it's arrogance, you know, I'm not sure, but you know, we we throw terms around like, you know, forever, a lifetime.
46:23 >> Listen, a lifetime is 76 years in America currently, right? Um, and look, there's a lot of things that get factored into that number, but you know, listen, you've got to got to play the average, right? I mean, uh, you know, we just saw recently a couple of these celebrities, right? I mean, look, Aussie Osborne 76, boom, on the button. Um so um but but but if you think about 76 years in the overall scheme of things right
46:58 when you compare that to humankind been here about 300,000 years the universe billions they're saying um 76 is a blink of an eye and and and we all know it listen as we get older right this is when it becomes more valuable, right? You know, listen, I'm 62, so I 76. I'm like, 14. It's like, and I think about the past 14 years, how quick they went. So, like, whoa. Now, of course, I I hope that I'm living a healthy enough life
47:33 and I'm taking good enough care of myself that I'll blow past that 76. But, as you stated, who knows, right? You know, you're every time you get behind the wheel of the car, you you don't know, right? Right. God forbid. So, um, you know, it's never too soon to make these arrangements, right? Um, and again, you know, the the chaos and the stress that you can alleviate for your loved ones by taking
48:09 care of that ahead of time is it's it's immeasurable. It's uh again just a pure act of love.
48:21 >> Yeah. I you know it is interesting because uh whatever one does in this in this regard they're not going to be around right. So they're not going to get thanked for it at least not you know when they're alive right so so it is it is an expert. So, we're we're we're um we're getting close to wrapping this up and and I'm I'm I've been sort of hesitating to ask you this question and I I don't want to end on a down note.
48:47 >> Sure.
48:47 >> Um but but I I I' I'd love to hear your response to this. So, from time to time I talk to people uh about, you know, these issues and I ask them, "Do you have an estate plan? Do you have an end of life plan?" And they say, "No, I don't." And I say, 'Well, you know, for the well-being of the people you're leaving behind, your loved ones, you might want to consider doing so. And they'll say, "Are you kidding? I want them fighting." Um, and I'm I'm curious. I I mean, I
49:24 don't want to lead the witness, as we say, but I I I love to hear, you know, your response to to that. No, you don't. That's the response. No, you don't. Um, so, and again, look, I think that for most people, it's um, you know, it's fear. They they don't want to uh, they just don't want to talk about they don't want to face their own mortality. Um, look w within our site, we didn't really get into kind of
49:59 membership, but you know, you can go to our website ithearrangements.com and for $49.95, you could create a funeral plan, a will, and an advanced directive,
50:13 >> right? U, listen, there's no excuse not to do that. Um you know a again no no loving human being wants to leave behind chaos. They don't. And you know, look, jokingly, they they may say, "Oh, let them let them fight it out." But you know what? If they realized the extent of the damage, right? Again, a states tied up in the courts for years, sometimes years, uh costing tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees.
50:50 Um you don't want that. Trust me, you don't. So in the end and I think this is and and if I'm summing up your message um I made the arrangements it's really for the living so that those we leave behind can have fond solidly good memories of us can make their way through the grieving
51:25 process. reasonably well and and can go on to lives that are that will flourish. Um be- because at one of the worst moments in their lives, they there was somebody who loved them enough to do whatever could be done to keep them out of the chaos, whether it's emotional or financial. And that was the plan, right? Relieve your loved ones of this burden, right?
52:02 >> Yeah.
52:03 >> Absolutely. Well, Paul, uh I I I really appreciate you coming on the show and and bringing this message. It is so important. Um I will put um a link to your website in the show notes. So, you know, people who want to look look into it more, they'll be able to do so. Um, and I'll also put um um if if you'd like, I'll put your contact information. So, if there are uh you know, people who'd like to be in touch with you to um you know, talk about this and and uh um maybe even talk about how they can join you in in
52:40 spreading the word about what you're doing here.
52:43 >> That would be great. Listen, Kevin, it's uh it's been a pleasure chatting with you as it was the last time we spoken. If you if you ever care to reach out, please do. Um, yeah, I I I really enjoyed this and thank you so much for the work that you do and and thanks for including me.
52:59 >> Yeah, you're welcome. I'm going to have you hang tight here for just a minute while I do a quick wrap up. Um, so I thank you all very much for joining us. I know we've we've got we've had a number of live viewers um on with us to to watch the proceedings. Always good to see you. Uh, tomorrow at 10 a.m. Pacific time is my show, Business Lessons from the Military. On Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time is my show, People Making Money. It's our monthly economic echo. So, I hope you'll join me. Oh, no. I'm take that back. Economic echoes was last week. So, I I forget what the topic is
53:34 for this week, but anyway, it'll be 10 a.m. 10 10 a.m. Pacific time. Uh, Wednesday, people making money. And then on Thursday is my every other week show at 5:00 pm Pacific time, Jiggers's Place. We're going to sit back, have a cocktail as we head to the end of the week, and we're going to talk about the greatest film genre that is uh film noir. So, if you if you like the the gritty city and the tough detectives and those dangerous fem fatal who seem to inhabit there, join me for a for a drink and a smoo on uh on Thursday at 5:00 pm
54:12 Pacific time. and then we'll be back a week from today for the next edition of Trust and Estates Weekly. So, once again, Paul, thank you so so much for being on the show today. Uh if I had let it go, we we we we'd talk for two hours. Uh but it was really great speaking to you
54:28 >> and signing off as I always do. You know, this this is my bid uh for my dear friend uh Marie to never be forgotten. She was such a a wonderful part of my life and I I had the honor of taking care of her for the last year that she was here on this mortal coil as as Shakespeare uh called it. So Marie darling, you are and ever will be my bell. Courage at all times, my friends.