0:00 okay give me a second you're not coming across so clear okay
1:05 okay hello and welcome to business lessons from the military I'm your host Kevin bemel and we are here every Tuesday morning well Tuesday Morning Pacific Time 11 A.M and uh 2 p.m eastern time with an hour in for Central and mountain and each week we discuss some aspect of military Doctrine military history
1:40 leadership military practice and we apply that to the civilian world so my my guest today is a long-standing friend and colleague of mine Rabbi Captain David Becker and we're going to be talking about an organization that David founded to support service members and this is an example of how the military Works in a holistic way to make
2:15 sure that its people are taken care of so I I think the I don't know I don't know if it's really a misnomer but the there there's I think the sense is that sort of the military takes care of everything on its own and that's really not the case so there may be quite a number of you out there who are involved with or have even started organizations that provide some kind of support to military people either on active duty or or as veterans or whatever and and in fact with the possible
2:52 exception of combat and even there there's a lot of uh civilian business support that the military gets but especially when when units are in Garrison there's very little that in terms of their quality of life that isn't impacted by organizations that are not part of the military so without further Ado I'm gonna introduce my guest Rabbi David Becker David thanks for coming on business lessons from the military I appreciate it thank you so much I'm so glad to be here sir
3:27 okay you have to dispense with the [Laughter] Sirens what's that that's that's true that's true but you do you you do and you always will outrank me but uh I I for suspending disbelief I will call you Kevin okay well thank you I you know I only outrank you in in rank right in military rank in in scholarship uh believe me uh you know you you you you are my teacher so um David I'd like to start out just get letting
4:02 um viewers get a little bit of a sense of who you are your background right you did not um you know get out of college and join the military and all of that um the military for like me I think the military was really more of a second career for you would you talk a little bit about that because I think that's also a good lesson that that the military can bring to civilians this idea of you know we we don't have to stay in the die that was cast When We Were Young that's so true I couldn't agree with you
4:38 uh more uh I my background is as an orthodox uh member of the Jewish community in Los Angeles I came up here and lived here practically all my life went to college here um for a time I went abroad for uh my ordination uh education and my college though was firmly entrenched in Los Angeles area uh my Master's is in teaching from USC uh teaching social studies uh subjects and that really uh belies the point that
5:15 your experiences fashion you and they honor you for with capabilities but you never know where those capabilities are going to lead you I started my career off in in Jewish Day schools as a teacher teaching Bible and Jewish history and talmudic subjects Jewish law and somehow some way all of those experiences those feelings of of uh that I had learned the spirituality the spirituality the education took me to the military where I applied those very same lessons very effectively uh to a
5:52 diversified non-jewish and Jewish population I think that's what we're talking about over here just how how much uh we we have in the tool box that we can apply in different ways in business and so on so forth absolutely so tell us a little bit about if you would um your experience in the military some of the things that you've done so again people viewing can get an idea of you know who you are and and and the breadth of what's what's gone on in in your
6:27 military career well before I do that I'd like to tell you how I came to the military uh so uh I yeah if that's so if that's okay because uh Kevin you're part of that's you're part of that story uh uh so I I was I I became a vice principal in a Jewish Day School here in Los Angeles where I'm currently resigning foreign we lost we lost your sound we lost your sound
7:08 still can't hear you oh can't hear you okay test try now your audio is connected but but we can't hear you can't hear you I hear you oh there you go I got you okay yeah I don't know something's with zoom today yeah um oh anyways so uh I'll I'll try to make it
7:44 brief and start over I was a vice principal in a Jewish school here in Los Angeles and uh I had the opportunity uh to go out to the New York area and be a Pulpit assistant Pulpit Rabbi uh and a uh administrator in a school out there and uh that was a a a there it was there that I was introduced to friends who were in the military and they invited me to a a weekend retreat a spiritual Retreat for chaplains and Military members in Upstate New York and I was just amazed that I could apply all the
8:20 skills all the wholesomeness the spirituality the counselor the the counseling experience that I had as a as a uh a Jewish Day School administrator uh and and apply that to Military and I was blown away by that opportunity and that was by the way in about 2011. in 2012 I came home uh to Los Angeles and uh I went to I went to work in another uh school but with my sites firmly uh firmly entrenched on going into the military I had to uh get in shape to do
8:55 that I investigated whether it was going to be Navy I investigated where it was going to be Army my preference was actually Navy uh somebody told me about this a cool amazing chaplain named Kevin bemel and he was down in uh he was down at the the the uh the submarine Squadron in um in San Diego so I I called them up out of the blue this is back in about 2012 mind you and uh I uh I said hey I'm really interested in coming down would you make time for me and spend a lot of time this guy Kevin bemel spent a lot of time with me on the phone and invited me
9:30 down to to his base um and when I got there we had just a lovely conversation uh and he says hey you want to go see a uh an active duty submarine and I said would I and out of nowhere uh you took me to the submarine and it was the USS Oklahoma I don't know if you remember this and it was in from a three-month stint underwater from Guam on patrol and we walked onto that boat and uh they're sitting at one of the stations was a
10:07 gentleman wearing a keeper and like we were both flabbergasted uh and we you know we made a direct beeline to him and we spoke to him this was an outstanding situation and uh he told us uh all about himself it was the eve of Rosh Hashanah in a couple days if you remember Kevin and um he he he told us that you know he grew up religious but it was there was very few opportunities to be a practicing Jew on on the boat and you know this really touched me and I think it was then Not only was my military
10:43 career fortified that I wanted to go into the military but that Jay fam my Jewish Friends of the American Military I think at its very early uh and Inception it it came it Formed an idea in my mind then and I just want to share this with you because when we came off the boat I've kept this for more than 12 years I don't know if you know that and uh I um I came off we came off that boat and we said we we gotta get this guy some something for Rosh Hashanah and so I asked you I said which if you wouldn't
11:19 mind if I sent you a couple see durian if I got some food or could you deliver it to him and you agreed to do that you were my partner in that this was the power that I felt like I was literally recreating the world at this moment for this one individual and if you could do that with one individual how many more can you do that as a full-time chaplain so I I ran off the boat I think a couple days later I shipped you some sidorim and you took those sidorim and I think you brought him some food too and you gave it to this young man and and we got a letter a couple of weeks later and this is the letter from 2012 and I can I
11:55 read it please it says uh Rabbi and Mrs David Becker and family put on my glasses that's what happens that's what happens when you get older and then you just when it came I didn't need the glasses but now I do I cannot begin to tell you how much it meant to me to receive a special package just days before Rosh Hashanah though I stood Duty on the submarine that night I prayed to God and brought in a new year with your beautiful matsur additionally I had your moxa with me on Yom Kippur and it was the most spiritual introspective day in years in fact I have been living on Guam with no Rabbi
12:31 no synagogue and barely the resemblance of a Jewish Community certainly not enough for mignon for three years coming back to the U.S U.S in time for high holidays and having your prayer books with me made it a very special start to that year I will make room for them in my very small uh Jewish Library thank you again for your love and support Lieutenant JD Feldman USS Oklahoma City ssn723 and that was what you and I accomplished together we could practically cry from such a thing yeah and I still have it that's the original
13:07 yeah um it's Majestic uh and that's what we have the opportunity to do we have the opportunity to affect lives Jew Gentile everybody we as a Chaplain in the United States military and that's what brought me to it in such a powerful way and uh as as I as I go through my military career I just look for more of these opportunities to help everybody well and and so I and I think this this is a really key aspect um that that
13:43 has changed how I approach my business today post-military versus how I approached my business pre-military and that is this this ethic of how do I help someone now infuses my business and and when I look at the people who are most successful in the civilian World their businesses even whether they're for-profit or not-for-profit makes no difference they're very focused on how do I help that next person
14:18 right and and and that like I said my my time as a military chaplain where that was that's our job basically right um but but you could argue it's really each one of our jobs uh as as people is who is the next person I'm going to help whether it's you know someone in my family or whether it's in business my next customer or client absolutely I I have found the more we help people in a genuine way the more it comes back to you in Myriad of ways and
14:53 that's happened to me on deployment where I have just simply helped somebody smile sat down with somebody at a lunch table and then all of a sudden I get a visit from someone of their friends saying hey my buddy told me to come talk to you hey can you help me and it just keeps on amplifying geometrically we say in Judaism and I think this is true in the business World Mitzvah gorer one good deed brings another good deeds and before you know it the whole world is filled with good deeds and we could do that in business too we could bring the passion of ourselves to the
15:29 relationships that we're developing it doesn't have to be solely that the basis of our relationships is predicated upon making money and and swindling out some dough from the other person uh it's it's be about a deep relationship a mutual desire to bring goodness into the world and to support one of each other spiritually financially so on so forth yeah absolutely so tell us now about um your starting jfam Jewish Friends of the American Military
16:04 um you mentioned kind of that that that day on the submarine was sort of its Genesis if you will um but now it's a it's a much you know larger organization talk to us about that and and and where how did that grow and and become a part of of your chaplaincy well you said it you started it off real well at the beginning of this of this uh uh meeting where the military does great and it tries to but it's severely lacking and limited in being able to offer people everything that they require and I'm not so sure that it needs to uh we all take resp
16:42 should take responsibility for our service members one way or another and for our communities they say charity begins in the home well the military is protecting our home so you know I I think it's probably Justin right that that the military doesn't and probably can't uh provide for everything so when I when that submarine day was just the Genesis and the Inception of the idea that I was that I had been introduced to really you were probably the first to introduce this to me that the military doesn't offer everything when I went on deployment and I've been on three
17:17 deployments uh to Iraq Afghanistan uh Kuwait uh and multiple many other countries where I've done smaller missions kosher food uh prayer books uh sense of community a rabbi uh to to uh lean on even for myself severely lacking um in material and ritual items uh and and and thankfully so we have a couple organizations like jfam that step in jfam is specific in what it does there
17:52 are other organizations that are specific in what they do of course there's always a little bit of overlapping and we support each other tremendously um and and so walking into Kuwait for example and not understanding and knowing where I'm going to get my next kosher meal as an orthodox Jew it's very disconcerting 50 hours on a plane popping all over do you remember those Kevin uh all over the world before we can actually land at our final spot and then waiting six hours to get on the bus to get where we have to get to uh what's next for me how am I going to get the
18:28 nourishment I need where is the Comfort going to be what am I going to be doing for the Shabbat those are those are needs that are that deployed Soldier uh re who is kosher conscious really really needs uh to solve and and they hit you kind of like a hammer in the head but let's say you're not Kosher conscience let's say you're just isolated from your community who is going to say to you the soldier we stand with you we're here with you uh where's that letter where's that box where's that Google where's that you know that heck that that Heritage and and I think that's what we
19:04 as the Jewish Community who are uh up range here in in the United States need to take responsibility for it what about the child who's missing their father or mother who's deployed for 12 months we have many of them right now reform conservative Orthodox non-practicing whatever it doesn't matter what are we doing for that child are we making sure that we're getting them some nice Jewish materials to get become more literate are we sending them to summer camp the military Camp provides for those things jfam does provide for those things jfan makes sure that those items and those uh those
19:41 experiences are available what happens if we have a chaplain God forbid and unfortunately recently we've had uh the death of a wonderful Chapel in the United States Navy chaplain who was who passed away suddenly what are we going to do for their Widow how are we going to bury that person can the military really take responsibility for that and the answer is no what about a chaplain who's up in JBLM who's very sick and his he has six beautiful children and they have to move into a new place is the military going to cover that no so there are many many many opportunities and they just keep unfolding I I the more the more I become known in jail fam
20:18 circles uh the more the requests flying we try not to say no we we always step in to do something if not everything and that's where jfam you know the the Genesis start Genesis started on that submarine and we just keep on growing where now uh you know we just had a fundraiser we we we're we raise a hundred and fifty thousand dollars we we raise funds throughout the year as much as we can to help um with these and other situations we send soldiers and Military members Sailors when I say let's call them service members for pro bono uh
20:54 counseling when it's not comfortable for them to use uh or care or they're not able to use military sources uh whatever it takes which we really try to provide um and and we take that response it's an honor it's an honor to try to help as many of these soldiers we're taking responsibility we are our Vim we are people who are responsible for those that are protecting our house and that's what jfam is Jewish Friends of the American Military and and how does or well what is your perception of how the military
21:30 looks at organizations like jfam um how do how do commanders respond to what you're doing how does how does the the chain of command in general respond to it in your experience I don't have any I haven't had any contact with the head sheds with the with the guys all the way up the chain of command but I could tell you over and over again how commanders have breathed size of relief that we stepped in to help a situation we have helped their soldiers who are ready to deploy but in danger because of
22:05 the moratorium ending of losing their homes we have paid off partial mortgages we have done all sorts of things to assist soldiers living in cars we've bought them a new car at a reasonable price because they were a worthy soldier in a situation that really warranted it commanders keep on sending one Commander says jfam to the rescue that was the most recent one okay wow you work across all of the service branches right yes I've made it a point
22:41 in my career not to stay I said many chaplains stay within their branch and that's you know there's plenty of work to do within your branch right but you know these are lessons I've learned all the way back from when I was a a teacher in a high school classroom you can't stay in your classroom they always pushed us you got to get out of your classroom you got to see what the kids are doing how they're living um and those lessons were really fortified they were cemented in my psyche so I I go to Camp Pendleton uh frequently and do high holiday Services I've gone to Pearl Harbor I've gone to Air Force bases for Hanukkah wherever I
23:18 can be of help I I insert myself I've been very assertive I mean you just sometimes I just walked into a unit that hasn't been of my branch and said hi this is chaplain Becker and I'm looking for Jews and the first sergeant looks at me and you know the first sergeant looks at me and says hey you got to speak to Schwartz I'll tell you my my early experience being my first Duty station was Okinawa Japan and I was assigned to the base there and I I think this is true of all bases these days so although it was a Marine
23:54 Corps Base there were units housed on the base that weren't necessarily attached to the Marine Corps they might have been Navy units or Army units or whatever and I called them the orphan units and I took it upon myself to go visit all the orphan units and it was it was it was really interesting because you know I'd show up uh one in particular there was a dental clinic there and um and people from this United States had sent me boxes of like cereal bars and candy or whatever right and so I just put it in a bag and I and I brought it into the dental unit right
24:30 and here's these they haven't they had never seen a chaplain most of them before in in some cases they've been there for a couple of years because there was Noah chaplain assigned to them and and I I became you know their chaplain and um so then I went and visited the headquarters and one day I was there and I walked by the executive officer's door and and I hear chaplain yes sir it's like and he's like this you know with the finger come in you know I'm like I'm like yes sir he's like uh I heard you were here about two three
25:05 weeks ago I said uh yes sir that that sounds right he said I got back to my desk I did I didn't see any chocolate on my desk and he said by the way the CEO won't say anything about this but there wasn't any on his desk either right that's funny and and they actually told their secretary to make sure when the chaplain is here it's okay for him to go in our offices whether we're here or not so yeah you know it's very very powerful this this idea of sort of looking outside um our purview
25:41 for other opportunities to help you know again kind of going back to our core topic which is how do we take military lessons and apply them to the business world I think in in the in the private sector there's a a tendency to sort of stove pipe ourselves yeah that's a shame right because we need to look at it and your thoughts on that I don't I don't I don't believe that personally that money is enough of a motivation I believe you've got to be passionate I think this leads this this supports what you're saying I believe that you have to be passionate about what you're doing and
26:16 the money will flow because with that passion becomes this feeling that you are unabashed about what you're representing I remember one time I was in Kuwait and I was looking for Jews I was looking to build a community and I had built by the end of my time I left I had collected upon out of the four bases in Kuwait several hundred Jewish people on WhatsApp I mean we were just we were a Country-Wide community on WhatsApp and then they told us to shut down WhatsApp so I had to transfer everyone to Signal plus um I remember walking up to uh a gentleman he was a he was a lieutenant a
26:51 lieutenant colonel and I I he his name was zulke and I had grown up with a sulky and I said hey uh sir uh you know chaplain Becker I'm kind of new on base looking for Jews and I want to know are you related to Moshe zulke so he said he looks at me like I'm a martian he says to me no I said well I'm sorry I'm sorry to disturb you I I was just looking for Jewish people he says I'm not Jewish I'm I'm Roman Catholic so I said okay I'm sorry to disturb a couple of hours later the the command chaplain calls me says did you go up to
27:27 the EXO of this base and ask him if he was Jewish and I said well yeah I did and he says well he thought that was great and he wants to sit down and talk to you and we became such Fast Friends the two of us he just texted me this week with a question a piece of guidance and he has I mean that's three years now right and I find him remarkable and he finds me remarkable and there's no we we feel absolutely like brothers there is no contradiction in terms of his beliefs and my beliefs the basis of our conversations are on upon our similarities and guidance for each other
28:02 uh typically mine is more philosophical um spiritual Direction in towards him and he's more of a military advice towards me these are the way that commonality and people of different backgrounds can get together passion passion just unabashedly you know living who you are and I believe that's true in business too you know and you bring up a really another really excellent point and that is one of the things I I noticed in the military and one of the great things about being a chaplain is the ability to
28:38 work with people of of all all different denominations people who you know weren't religious they were atheists or they whatever they were it was really um that that sort of you know classic Melting Pot if you were if you will um and and in general there was an assumption of Good Will so if I approach somebody or somebody approached me because we were both in the military whether it was the same service Branch or not the there was an assumption of you know Brotherhood
29:14 even even if it was a female right yeah yeah on that hood I guess would be the you know the term and and I think that it it that's one of the things that breeds that sort of a spree to core that that uh I suspect you experienced in the military as did I very much so you know I was always moved by your story it's it's fresh in my mind as the day you told me years ago about your experiences where you advocated for somebody who was incarcerated under a terrible set of circumstances from a different Faith um I don't know if you have time to say
29:50 that story but it it was it just illustrates and bring brought home many times um my what I'm supposed to be doing I don't know if you knew that you were my mentor for mafar in many cases as I was interacting with people who I was not accustomed to interacting with people like Muslims and people um uh who by the way might not be somebody that I would interact with on a daily basis here in Los Angeles people have a different Faith deep conversations in Christianity that I had never been exposed to and turned out to be delightful people in your case I suspect that was a little
30:26 bit more poignant um yeah I mean it was he was on trial for his life literally so yeah I I I I think I've related that story before on on um one of these episodes but I I assume you're you're talking about the Muslim Marine who right correct he was on trial for murder um and uh um his trial was on Yom Kippur right it's like so you know there was there was there was sort of somewhat of uh stunned disbelief you know when I showed up to testify for him because there wasn't a there was an assumption that
31:02 Jews and Muslims do not get along um and I don't know if I ever told you this but um um while I was in Okinawa we the the one Muslim chaplain in the Navy was assigned there for a time period and and we got along really well um he actually knew a lot of talmud because he had studied in Chicago Etc and and we used to joke around about how you know we shouldn't be getting along and he would and his his response was always yeah that's you know that's CNN stuff that's Fox stuff it's like you
31:37 know right right and and I think that one of the things that I learned was people of good will we'll get along right it's that classic idea of um Victor I believe it's Victor Frankel right there's only two races of people the decent and the indecent right and and I think that there's there's a a a big advantage to making the assumption that someone we're meeting is decent especially if they're different than us
32:14 because then we can we can demonstrate to them that we're we're open to understanding you know who they are how they live Etc and and creating those relationships you were talking about which I would argue are essential to any successful Venture business non-profit academic whatever it is yes yes I mean it was with you partially in mind where uh I had panel discussions between uh various denominations of Christianity myself and some Muslim chaplains who
32:49 were in Kuwait on a Friday night uh and invited the entire base to come watch and and we are the basis of our discussions was not our differences but rather our similarities and it made for some really great discussions and Good Will and people were just blown away um of course you're always going to have that odd person that's going to say hey if you're right I'm going to hell and if I'm right you're going to hell and I responded to that individualizer said okay that's great I get top bunk and I just use this you know that diffused the situation
33:26 I've mentioned this a few times on my various shows but there's also you know the the whole Mark Twain line about that which is you know he was indifferent about heaven or hell because he had friends in both places I think so yeah anyway yeah yeah that's those those were the military has been wonderful to me it's been the best 10 years of my professional career uh I I would not want to give it up for anything in terms of those 10 years absolutely well I'm sorry to say that we're we're gonna have to wrap this up we've actually gone a little bit overtime but
34:02 the the the conversation was was so engaging I I wanted to continue it for a while so before before we go uh do do one thing tell us where can we go to learn more about uh jfam and and if for those people who are motivated to do so maybe make a contribution to help you with your work there oh that's very kind of you I'll put it in the chat here uh we are uh at J dashfam.org I'll put it in the chat right now okay um and then if you if you feel motivated
34:38 we have we still have the rest of this week uh this this two-time match campaign we have matchers who are matching every dollar uh times two and I I believe uh Kevin you have a a small page if you would like to contribute to Kevin's page on the charity platform which is a crowd sharing platform that goes right into jfam.org and I'll put that on there too okay it's it's a chair it'll it's open till Friday charity.com slash jfan and uh and then you could uh just you
35:14 could you could support there and if you don't support just support financially support it other ways support by saying a prayer support by thanking um a military member or a veteran just do something to unabashedly go up to them and do something kind for them say something kind to them you'll find your day is better you'll find your mood is lifted there are other ways to support absolutely well so David thank you so much for
35:49 coming on the show today uh if you'll hang tight I'm going to do a little wrap up here and then we we can talk offline for a minute before I let you go so folks that is our show for today uh I I I I hope you enjoyed the conversation with with David and me as as he indicated we've been friends now for um over 10 years and and I I you know David has been kind enough to mention how I've impacted his life I can assure you that his the his impact on my life has been at least is great um this this is sort of the chaplain's
36:25 chaplain right here and so I I I hope you enjoy the show I hope you picked up some uh worthwhile lessons that you can apply to your life particularly your business life so tomorrow is my show uh people making money my guest is Brian Larkey of um delatorre Winery direct and I I I mentioned this in my show yesterday I I think most of us would agree the worst day working in wine is probably pretty much better than the best day working in almost anything else except for maybe
37:01 the military um but I invite you to join join me and to join Brian and me at 12 30 p.m Pacific Time 3 30 p.m eastern time tomorrow uh for for that conversation um Brian has is a new friend of mine and we've we've quickly uh developed a great affinity for each other um we are we are mutual friends with someone else that uh we just love this other fellow to death and then we will start it all again next week on Monday at 10 A.M Pacific time with trusts and Estates weekly so thank you very much
37:37 for tuning in if you have missed any episodes I invite you to go back to or to go to our YouTube channel you can find all past episodes there you can subscribe to our channel so you'll always get an email anytime a new episode post we'd love to have you as a subscriber and any suggestions you have any comments any criticisms please feel free to drop them in one of our social media comments send me an email all of those contacts will be in the show notes along with the links to David's
38:13 organization jfam.org and charity.com jfam all those will be in the show notes after the show post to our YouTube channel so thank you very much for joining us today wishing you a wonderful rest of the day and looking forward to seeing you tomorrow thank you