0:01 Who are you? [music] And where are you going? What do you want? Hello and welcome to Business Lessons from the Military. I'm your host, Kevin Bemel, and I'm here every Tuesday at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time to talk about military history, doctrine, and leadership practices. and then distill from them lessons that we can apply to our businesses and professional practices. So, we're in the third phase
0:38 of the 24 episode campaign. [snorts] Um we're talking about um culture and long-term survival. This is the fourth episode of the third phase and the topic for today is the lonely commander. So this is kind of a u almost an icon I think of um of mil military uh uh ideology or not ideology is the wrong word sort of military um philosophy perhaps and and it it it reflects the
1:17 reality that um it's lonely at the top and that that's That's you've probably heard that phrase before. Uh but the reality is and we've seen this going on um with the the war in Iran that the the person making decisions decisions about combat. Uh and in this case it's it's really the president's decision what happens in terms of whether there's com combat activity at all. [snorts] Uh but then there it it gets down to the
1:53 theater commander as to what activities will be taken. They really have to make those decisions themselves. They can't um they cannot pass those decisions off to other people and as a result the decision for the success or failure of what happens is their responsibility as well. One of the problems that arises with bad leadership [snorts] among commanders is when
2:31 they attempt to uh push those very highlevel decisions to others below them and then blame those people when the the decisions don't yield the results that they want. or they make a decision and then don't take responsibility for the results of the decision that they made. That's one of the ways of telling that a commander is in fact a poor leader. Uh and and they they certainly have existed. So, um, if you look at, um, uh,
3:10 General West Morland, who was essentially in charge of what happened in Vietnam, uh, he he he often times, uh, was was looking for ways to exculpate himself from the responsibility. And the reality is if he didn't want the responsibility, he should have resigned his position as as the commanding general. Um you you know you you saw it sometimes uh with um uh MacArthur um in world during World War II in the Pacific
3:45 theater of operations where if if an operation didn't go the way he wanted it to go, he would um sometimes almost overtly blame the president or he would blame the Navy for not giving him proper support. being an army officer and and this is one of the reasons why in fact there while he was he had a great deal of support. Uh there were also a lot of people who really despised MacArthur um and and and they weren't just the likes of of Roosevelt and and um other members
4:22 of the Democratic party with you know MacArthur being um a a Republican. It was it was people across the political uh uh political spectrum who didn't like the kind of weasling that sometimes um in which he sometimes engaged. Uh and and uh you know he would he was always quick to take uh um um to take the the the um um accolades that came with success. uh
4:57 he was less likely to take the responsibility uh that went with uh failure. So um these are the dynamics of being the commander and and so when while whether it's in the military or in civilian life, leadership is typically portrayed as as collaborative and team driven and and a a sort of highly mutual supportive uh function. um at decisive moments that is just not the case. So some
5:34 decisions they cannot be delegated, they cannot be consensus driven, they cannot be fully shared and they cannot be reversed without very sometimes very severe consequences. And so at those moments, leadership becomes solitary and the the wise commander understands that, takes responsibility for it, makes the decision and accepts the responsibility. And so these these sort of moments of
6:10 pivotal decisionmaking whether in the military or business they they show the ultimate loneliness of the position of of of that decision maker. So in the in military doctrine we call this you know the burden of command right? So at at at least in theory, commanders are responsible for mission outcomes, operational risk, troop welfare, and strategic alignment. Okay? At whatever
6:46 at whatever level it is at which they're at. So a company officer, he's he is responsible for the outcome of his part of the larger mission. And if he's a wise company commander, he will accept that and he will, you know, success or failure, he he knows rests with him. He won't try to shift blame for failure onto his subordinates. Even if his subordinates contributed to the failure
7:22 of the operation, he is still going to take the responsibility for its failure. And to the extent that some of his subordinates did not perform properly, he's going to take that up with them individually. Okay. But but as a separate action apart from the his responsibility for the mission outcome, he also has to take the responsibility for assessing and and and taking the occupation the uh operational risk that goes with or that underlies
8:02 the mission outcome. Okay. And again, he ha he has the responsibility for his troops welfare. Now, we use the word troops, of course, if you're a naval commander, it's your sailor's welfare. If you're a marine commander, it's your marines. But we use the word troops in a gener generic sense here. Okay? And also, he's re uh he is responsible for strategic alignment. So if he's being asked to do something that doesn't appear to align with the larger strategy as he understands it, it's up
8:38 to him to ask those questions so that he can make sure that he is in strategic alignment especially if after the um the you know activity is launched and has to be and the plan has to be altered. he's still responsible for staying aligned with the larger strategic objective. Okay. So even with strong staff support, final authority rests with that one person. Now why why is
9:15 this so important? And it really comes down to accountability. So there must be someone to whom a senior commander can turn and hold accountable for what happened. Okay? Just as that senior commander has someone senior to him. Okay? Going all the way up the chain of command to the president who's the commanderin-chief. That's why he has that title. You say, "Well, but then the president has no one to whom he's responsible." That's not true. The
9:51 president is responsible to the American people, right? And so if if the if the American people don't like what the president is doing or they feel that the president uh you know is is is is failing in the mission outcome or um is not taking responsibility for the operational risk etc. the American people either can not reelect that president if he's eligible to run for office again or they can at a midterm
10:29 election [clears throat] um you know they can um essentially lessen the pre lessen um decrease the president's influence by for example um you know bringing more members of the opposition party into Congress. Okay. Um and and and of course there there's the ultimate which is to the extent that the president has done something um that that rises to the level of high crimes or misdemeanors, the president can be impeached. Okay. So the president is
11:04 ultim ultimately responsible to the American people. Okay. and and then every commander subordinate to the president is responsible to the commander senior to him. Okay. And this creates a structural reality where more and more respon more more and more responsibility is concentrated as authority increases. Right? So if there's a failure in a battle, okay, um if if so we saw in the recent war um
11:40 there was a a um I believe was a helicopter crash in Iran. Okay. So the the commander of that helicopter he it may have been his responsibility. Okay. um you know the m the helicopter may not have been properly maintained or something like that. If if if he took off in it uh then then it's his responsibility. Now there there may have been a a a um what's called a plane captain to make who was supposed to make sure that that aircraft is is fit to
12:16 leave the ground. And if that plane captain made a mistake well then he bears some of the responsibility. But the ultimate responsibility rests with that mission's commander. And you know, perhaps the plane captain, most of whom are usually quite young, was not properly trained. Maybe the the mission commander uh you know convinced the plane captain to let him fly even though the you know the mission the the plane captain didn't want to let the let the aircraft leave the ground or something like that. I I don't know what
12:52 the precise circumstances are. I'm just giving you examples. Um, but we need to be able to hold somebody accountable. Not necessarily from the standpoint of punishment, but from the standpoint of, okay, who had the responsibility here? Now, what needs to be done in order to make sure that that something like this doesn't happen again in the future, right? and and so this so but but you know as we go up the chain of command um that authority increases okay but so
13:27 does the responsibility and so in the end [clears throat and cough] the president of the United States is responsible for that helicopter crash okay and you say well he had nothing to do with it well except that all all responsibility for military action eventually concentrates itself in the commander-in-chief. Okay, that's not to say that he needs to be punished for it. These are there are inevitabilities of combat. There are inevitabilities of war. Yes. Um but he
14:04 has the ultimate responsibility. It all it all end the the pyramid if you will ends there because he has the final responsibility to the American people. That's the system is built that way by design. And so command becomes increasingly isolating because as rank increases fewer people number one fewer people can challenge decisions openly. Now, [cough and clears throat] that isn't to say that
14:46 [clears throat] that isn't to say that command becomes dictatorial per se. It's just that the more senior the commander, [clears throat] the more problematic it is to challenge that commander openly. Okay. Uh I I I know this from personal experience, right? I once challenged an admiral uh with you know a half a dozen other people there and he got major major angry at me for doing that. Now, he was acting like a total jerk and I called
15:22 him on it. And not 10 minutes later, as I was passing my commanding officer's office, he called me into the office to talk about it. Now, in the end, it turned out okay for me. Okay? And and in fact, in a way, it kind of made me a hero on my ship because almost nobody liked this admiral. He was a complete jerk. Um, and he was a poor poor poor leader, right? But I was able to do that because of of the
15:58 position I held number one as a chaplain where we we have more leeway than other people do. Number one. Number two, uh I did not report directly to him. Um, so he was relying on someone else punishing me if if what I did was considered, you know, improper, which my commanding officer decided was not. I think he I think he never said this to me, but I think he was kind of glad I did it. I think he wished probably wished he could have done it on some level because everybody hated this admiral. Um, and
16:35 also I was at least as old as this admiral. I might have actually been a little bit older than him. And so by by age that that gave me greater leverage, but that's a that's a pretty unique situation from a military standpoint. Okay. And and and the reality is um the other six people there were absolutely a gasast at what I did unfortunately because they were also all chaplain. And it was my view that as chaplain we should be uh pointing out to authority
17:10 when they are to you know coin a phrase off their nuts. So [snorts] okay so that's that's one of the reasons that's but one of the reasons why command becomes isolating is first of all fewer people can or maybe it's better to say will openly challenge decisions. Next information becomes increasingly filtered. So there is so much information only so much of it can make its way up the chain of command. Now in in the kind of informationririch
17:45 environment we have today I think a lot more information makes its way up to the most senior commanders but they certainly don't know everything. they are reliant on their subordinates, you know, taking in information, sifting it for them, and then passing up the chain of command what is relevant, what what what their subordinate thinks is relevant for them to know. And so that's another way that that command becomes isolating. Next, peers disappear. The higher you go up the chain of command, the fewer peers you have. Okay, there's
18:20 I think roughly a half a dozen fourstar admirals in the Navy. There's maybe I don't know 10 15 20 three star admirals. There's you know 30 or 40 twostar admirals. There's I don't know 60 70 80ar admirals. You can see that just among what are called flag rank officers, admirals in the case of the Navy, generals in the case of the other service branches, the higher you go, the fewer there are. And a a twostar admiral does not appear to a four-star admiral.
18:56 He's just not. He may be just as smart. He may be smarter. He may be a better leader, but he's still not at that same rank level. And so he's not a peer. Okay? And so, um, and then two, the farther up the chain you go, your subordinates start looking for direction rather than to engage in debate. Now, a lot of how that dynamic work works comes from the attitude of the commander. So commanders who are who
19:31 are are good who are wise they will encourage debate among their subordinates in order to flesh out the best possible ideas the best information so that then the commander can make the best decision. Okay. But a a lot of commanders don't encourage debate and so they become even more isolated. And so, you know, dis no matter how a commander handles those different factors, he has to absorb the risk. Okay? He has to make judgment calls under uncertainty and he
20:08 has to carry the consequences personally. Okay? Well, when I say has to or he must, I if he wishes to be a good commander, this is what he must do. This is what it means to be a good commander. So this this isolation it it's not really by accident on a to a certain extent it's produced by design in order to put that burden of leadership on the commander's shoulders so that they they experience the weight of the decisions that they're making and
20:46 and deliberate thoroughly in order to come up with the best decision. Now, I say the best decision because commanders are not always faced with the difference between a good and a bad decision. Often times, they've got a bad and a worse decision or kind of a mediocre uh you know, maybe a mediocre option and a less mediocre option or something or a little more mediocre option, right? Rarely is there a bright dividing line between the correct and the incorrect decision. That's that again is part of
21:22 that burden of command. And so to isolate them and impress upon them. You have the authority to make this decision. You are going to have to take the responsibility for it also impresses on them the weight of the decision and encourages them and or incentivizes them I maybe is the better way to put it. Incentivizes them to give due consideration to what it is they decide. So I' I've talked about um a a couple of examples. probably the weightiest decision made uh in in
21:59 the last you know hundred years of American military history was uh um General Eisen's General Eisenhower's decision to uh launch D-Day on on June 6, 1944. And in fact, he delayed it from June 5th and and and had to make the decision whether to launch D-Day on June 6th or to not launch it on June 6th, recall all the ships and wait what would probably
22:35 have been about at least another month before the conditions were uh proper to try and le uh try and launch D-Day again. the the the famous D-Day, the invasion of Normandy, I should call it, because D-Day was really just a term for the launch of any particular operation, right? And uh to his credit, uh Eisenhower understood the loneliness of the commander that he alone could make that decision. And the way we know that is because he wrote a press release that
23:14 never had to be actually released to the press saying that he had gotten the best advice he could. But the operation had failed and it was solely his responsibility for his failure. He could not escape that responsibility. Right? It's it's it if you've watched this, you know, show regularly, I've I've talked about um General Eisenhower before. Um he's he's revered and I think perhaps not not as justifiably as as as is
23:55 really the case. Um but but I will say that in this particular action the the reverence for which Eisenhower is held is justified. So he had to make that that decision uh to to launch the Normandy invasion. He he he he was the only one who could make the decision. He had to make it on his own. He had to accept the responsibility and he did. and and and I think it's be it's because of that that he is remembered in the way he is despite some other I think more
24:31 problematic aspects of of um you know how he handled things in in other situations right so you know give him his due um you know for that for that situation so business leaders um can experience ience this same reality. So, uh, a good business leader often discovers that AVI advice is abundant, right? You can get all the advice you want and opinions are plentiful, but agreement is at best
25:08 temporary. Okay? But responsibility is singular, right? So if you recall um Bob Chopra who ran the Walt Disney Company after um uh Robert Iger um stepped down um and and one of the things that that that Chopra learned was he would get all kinds of advice and and there were all kinds of opinions um and and he would reach some kind of agreement perhaps but that was temporary and in the end uh you know when when the
25:43 when the company had uh problems because of the political climate and etc etc he was held responsible and the reality was he could only play the hand he'd been dealt uh and a lot of the problems that that he had to deal with he inherited from Iger but in the end he he was the CEO and so he had the responsibility and that was why I think he in in in the end was replaced pretty quickly. The the Disney company brought brought Iger back on board. Now he has
26:19 uh you know in essence retired again. We'll see how that goes. Right. So this this is in the in the business world the equivalent of the lonely commander. And and it doesn't have to be in a huge company like Disney even for a small business. uh in the end if we if we are the owner of that business or we're the you know CEO of that small business in the end the responsibility is ours we have to make the hard calls and we have to accept the responsibility that's just how it works right I know even in my
26:55 company I have a small company as as you know if you watch the show but in the end whatever happens I can't blame my accountant I can't blame my lawyer I can't blame my colleagues I the responsibility is mine. I have to make the decisions. I have to accept the responsibility. That's just the bottom line in business, right? And so, you know, if you have a company where you have a board of directors, that board of elect that board of directors can align with your priorities, for example, with your decisions, but that doesn't remove the accountability that you have as the leader of the company,
27:32 as the CEO, right? And team input. Okay? It does not diminish the risk. Okay? You can get great input from your team, but the idea that we're going to eliminate risk only if if you think risk has been eliminated, it only means you're not looking realistically at what the risks are, right? Risk cannot be eliminated. Not ever. Okay? There's always economic risk because we don't control the we as individuals don't control the economy.
28:07 And so there's always going to be that risk out there. There's nothing that can be done to absorb it or mitigate it. [snorts] And finally, consensus does not eliminate consequences. Everybody can be agreed this is what we should do, but that doesn't mean that it's going to work out. And if it doesn't work out, we can't turn around and say, 'Well, everybody agreed this was the right thing to do. That may be the case. And that may give us some comfort in the face of the particular situation not having worked out. Say, well, look, we made the best decision that we can.
28:42 Okay. And but in the end, it didn't work out. I have the responsibility for that. That's one of the things I stress to the people with whom I work uh is is you know you have a certain level of decision making and if you make good decisions great if you make bad decisions okay we'll fix it but in the end you're not going to hear me say to a one of my clients well this is such and such's fault because they made a bad decision I don't have the ability to well I I could do that I suppose But
29:17 that's not proper. Okay. I can't if I delegate some part of decision making to a subordinate. Okay. I'm I'm relying on them to make as good a decisions as they can make in order to make things run help things run smoothly. But in the end, I have the responsibility for their decisions as well as my own. Okay? If I think they've made an incorrect decision, I need to sit down and talk with them about it and see how we can uh help help them make better decisions in the future. But with respect to my clients, I have the responsibility
29:53 whether I've made the decision or one of my subordinates did, right? And so, uh, but but just like with the the lonely commander in the military, there are key decisions that I have to make and I'm going to have to decide them alone. And that's true of every CEO, okay? Every good CEO. Okay? So, let's take a quick break. We'll come back for some more. When life brings unexpected changes, managing inherited property shouldn't add to your stress. Magnum Properties
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31:04 Okay. So there's a psychological reality of leadership isolation and I think we need to uh we need to examine that and that and it and it is that the the isolation is is not just structural meaning there are fewer peers for us as we you know go ever higher up the the leadership ladder. Okay. Um leaders often experience a sort of psychological isolation in in the fact that they they they really are not able
31:40 to fully share their doubt for example. So they may make a decision, but in order to have the best chance of that decision working out well, they may not be able to say to their subordinates, gosh, I I I have a lot of anxiety about this decision, or I'm not really sure if this is the right way to go. because that could undermine the confidence that their subordinates have in the plan of action, causing it to fail merely because people are not 100% behind it. And so they're they're, you
32:15 know, they're hedging even as they move forward with with, you know, um, enacting the decision. And so leaders have to project a level of confidence that maybe they're not feeling inside. And that that can be a very isolating um situation with which leaders deal. Um [snorts] so you know we're leaders we're under pressure to project confidence even when we don't feel particularly confident. Right now there's a difference between projecting confidence and and and
32:51 projecting bravado. Bravado may be necessary at times, although I think generally speaking, it's not necessary. Confidence is I've made the decision. This is what we're going to do. I'm confident it's going to work out well. Now, let's let's move forward smartly. Okay. Um so, you know, that that you know, bravado oftentimes can backfire because people start thinking, well, if if you're that if you have to be that big a cheerleader, what am what am I missing here? Right. So we we we we we're under pressure to project
33:27 confidence but in a a calm motivating way. Okay. Not in a way that that could undermine what it is we're trying to achieve. uh as well. Oftentimes, especially the higher up a leader is in the chain of command, um they have fewer and fewer uh emotional outlets, right? So, I know for when I was in the military as a chaplain, I really didn't have an emotional outlet. Okay? So most of not most but a lot of what I you know
34:05 dealt with um as a chaplain I was prohibited from discussing with other people. Okay. So you know and and even even with I I was married at the time even with my wife I couldn't discuss a lot of these things because they were what's known as privileged communications right so the you know there's there was s there sort of limited emotional outlets uh and they become ever more limited as you move up into higher levels of leadership and finally there is I think a lot of leaders have a
34:42 kind of a fear of burdening burdening others with their uncertainty. Uh again, it's it's it's it's part of uh needing to project confidence, making sure that people are properly motivated. And so all of this that it can create a a sort of internal strain and it's of rarely is it visible externally or at least it shouldn't be visible externally because that could undermine what it is the leader is is looking to to achieve. So
35:19 the the the isolation uh be is is not just a physical isolation. It's an emotional and even a spiritual isolation at times, right? And so there is a hidden cost to leadership and that is you know without a support structure to a leader isolation can lead to uh decision fatigue. It can lead to emotional exhaustion uh sort of an over reliance on the self and and and delayed or overly cautious decisionmaking. Right? So as leaders and
35:56 the higher we go up the leadership ladder the more important this is. We need to find ways to counteract our the a level of isolation that becomes or that could become debilitating and destructive to the organization. Okay. So we we need to have mentors just like more junior people. We need to have outlets for our frustration and our stress. Okay. So, all of that needs to be built into our system. It may be that
36:31 there aren't people within our organization with whom we can uh create these solutions. We may need to look outside the organization to friends uh or or maybe to you know if if you have you know if you're involved in a religious denomination. Maybe you speak to your pastor, your priest, your rabbi, whatever, right? We need to build those those outlets so that we can continue to be effective. Okay? Uh and and and and
37:06 yet still um you know make I should say we can we can continue to be effective but also deal with the responsibilities that come from being effective. So, um, I've got, uh, five thoughts on how to deal with the lonely commander situation in a business context. So, number one is accept ownership, decision ownership early on. Acknowledge as the the senior leader in a business situation that you
37:45 are going to own the decision. Okay? that and and this is something I stress to to my team members is in the end I have I have the ultimate ownership of the decision the ultimate responsibility so I do that for two reasons one is I want them to know that I'm here to shield them from blowback okay as as is my responsibility as the senior you know the most senior decision maker but two to also let them know that they have my
38:20 confidence, okay? And that um I'm not going to clobber them if they make what turns out to be an incorrect decision because the ultimate the ultimate responsibility is mine and and as is the way I respond to things that are going wrong or that have gone wrong. Okay. So this clarity it it it reduces internal conflict. Number one for myself. Okay. I've got the responsibility. That's it. I I whether I like it or not doesn't matter. I have
38:55 it. And number two, it reduces internal conflict between me and the other people, the other team members. Okay. So uh I I you know I I have to I have to make the decision about which decisions are mine alone and which decisions get delegated. Okay that that is that is mine. If I delegate a [clears throat] decision I can delegate the the decision making um uh necessity. Okay. But I cannot fully delegate the
39:30 responsibility. All I can do is delegate part of the responsibility. Okay. So, but that that I have the responsibility for making those decisions. If if there's a decision blockage in in something that I'm doing, that is at least in part my problem. Okay. Either I haven't been clear enough in delegating the decision authority or I've held too many decisions myself and and and I'm clogging things up. other there could be other issues. Okay. And so um I also need to avoid diffusing accountability
40:09 unnecessarily. Okay. So if I have the ultimate responsibility the then I have to be clear about that. I have to be clear about that to myself and to my team members and I have to fully own whatever the outcome is. Okay. So I can't as I mentioned earlier I can't pass that off to somebody else. That's true for all leaders. Okay. So clarity reduces psychological strain. And and I have noticed that as as my practice has grown
40:44 and as the significance of the decisions I need to make have gotten larger. Okay. I've worked to be ever more clear about this issue about where you know my ownership of the decision- makingaking process and it's allowed me to I think operate more effectively even as the weight of the decisions has grown because I've retained that clarity. Okay. Number two, build trusted advisors
41:19 not echo chambers. So, I encourage people to speak up if they disagree with something that we're discussing. Okay? And and we can, you know, if if I I'll say to them in in exactly these words, if you think something I'm saying is wrong, speak up. Tell me, okay? Don't clobber me, please. Nobody likes that. But just feel free to speak up and then let's let's talk it through. Maybe what maybe the direction I'm going with a with respect to a decision doesn't make
41:54 as much sense as I think it does. Okay. However, once the decision is made, okay, then I'll we and then I'm going to talk about that in the next one. Okay. But when when you're in the decision- making process, build trusted advisors who know that you are open to their input. you take it seriously and you'll give it due consideration. Right? So when you don't have honest input that increases the isolation, right? So
42:30 cultivate advisors who will challenge assumptions uh and and who will separate support from agreement. In other words, whether you agree with them or not, they will continue to support you. Okay? And that comes primarily, I think, from them feeling like you've heard them out and you you have taken the time to just, you know, examine and discuss through um what the advice that you've been given by them. and and then in the end if you've if you've dis if you've made a
43:07 decision that disagrees with that advice you you have a a clear basis for doing so. Okay. And then encourage those dissenting perspectives. Okay. Don't shut them down. Right? Um even if they're coming after the decision has been made. Okay. It still is good to encourage those dissenting opinions. Okay. as long as they're done in a in a proper way. Okay? Because maybe something about the decision needs to be altered and and and the dissenting opinion you're getting is uh you know
43:44 will will help to make that clear. Okay. So better input reduces decision loneliness. Okay. Next, create a structured decision process. Okay. So try not to let things happen ad hoc. So frameworks also reduce emotional burdens. So use consistent decision models. So um for um I I I I use this example quite quite often in in this show because I think it's it's where I I
44:21 am most able to put the principles I talk about here into use. And that is with overseeing this the property management company. Um most of the important decisions are made in a staff in our weekly staff meeting where we all sit together sit together in a group essentially face to face. We go through the various issues that need to be discussed and then we work through to solutions. Okay. That gives everybody an opportunity to be heard, to give their input, for the matter to be discussed. And then if it's something
44:58 where I'm I need to make the decision, then I make the decision. If one of my colleagues needs to make a decision, they make the decision. Or if it's if it's just more a matter of this type of issue, how is it going to be dealt with? So then we know going forward, this is how it's going to be dealt with, right? So structure reduces cognitive load just like better input reduces isolation, right? And that's what we want to do in order to combat the lonely commander is
45:33 reduce cognitive load. Okay? Get better information so we're more connected to what's going on. Okay. Next number four. separate emotion from responsibility. Okay. So leaders need to carry both but they should not confuse them. So we can be disappointed that something didn't work out. Um but the fact that we're disappointed maybe we're disappointed in ourselves. Maybe in
46:08 retrospect we realize wow that was a bad decision. I I let this factor weigh too heavily on my decision-making. I shouldn't have done that. Uh we we that's it's fine to go through those internal discussions, but in the end, we still have to accept the responsibility for what happened. Okay? And we can't confuse the two. So we can acknowledge the emotional impact privately or with our mentor. Okay? But we have to maintain clarity in public discourse. Okay? And we need to avoid emotional
46:45 decisionmaking when we're under pressure. Okay? And so stability requires emotional discipline and that can be difficult at times. Okay? We could be if if we're tired, if we're not feeling well, uh it can be difficult to maintain that kind of emotional discipline. Nonetheless, we have to we have to as much as possible separate emotion from responsibility. Now, that doesn't mean that we have to be cold and calculating and and emotionless.
47:22 No, I'm not I I don't think that that's the case. We need to uh maintain emotional connections um if at all possible um with with our people but but we don't we we don't want to emote. Okay, which is so often what you see these days unfortunately. Okay. So, we need to we need to continue to act in a mature, rational way even if we're upset or have other uh things going on in our lives that make make it difficult to maintain
47:58 emotional discipline. And finally, we need to accept even normalize leadership isolation as a reality. Okay, that is it. Understanding that that is just the way it is should make it easier to bear. Okay, we we we can wish and hope that it were otherwise, but it's not going to be. Okay, so we need to accept it and we need to work on these other aspects to shore up our stability, shore up our ability to deal with the emotional and
48:34 cognitive loads in an appropriate way. So um we can openly acknowledge a leadership burden in in in as part of the you know nature of the culture of the organization right uh you know perhaps somewhat tongue and cheek because we're not looking for you know people to be you know crying about us or that sort of thing. We don't we don't want we don't want to be transferring our emotional burdens onto subordinates but we can say look in the end the decision is mine and is the and so is the responsibility
49:10 that's you know I'm I'm the lucky person who gets to you know to do this right um okay yeah that's the reality right um and but more importantly perhaps than that is we can prepare emerging leaders for this aspect of leadership this for the you know for responsibility to this reality of the isolating nature of leadership. We can explain that it's part of it and they need to be working on themselves in a way that helps them
49:46 deal uh deal with it successfully. And finally, um, we can to some extent reduce the stigma around isolation. We can just accept it for what it is. It's just part of life. There's no reason to be upset about it. There's no reason to, you know, to let it uh bring more emotional uh weight to a decision. We just we just have to make it. It's look this is just a normal part of of how uh leadership and business works. So
50:23 knowing this um normalizing it also should reduce some of the psychological burden some of the even psychological shock that comes with uh you know with the idea of of the lonely commander. So there is kind of a core paradox of leadership and that is the higher the leadership the higher the leadership position uh typically the more input you receive um but the fewer people who can decide with you and the more visible you
51:02 become because you're much higher um but but the more alone you feel because of the weight of your responsibility. These are the tradeoffs. And so leadership uh expands influence while at the same time it concentrates accountability. That is it's just the way it is. And and and we again like I was just saying a moment ago, we need to accept that. So for modern organizations, especially in the fastmoving business environment in in which we oftentimes have to deal. So we
51:38 have to recognize that decisions are time-sensitive. The stakes can be high and ambiguity is pretty much a constant. So uh leaders who cannot tolerate uh isolation oftentimes delay decisions. They overdelegate critical calls and they seek consensus when they're not going to get it. So good leaders, good commanders as you know leaders who are acting in a command position. So they act decisively, they absorb the
52:13 responsibility and they maintain organizational momentum and that is what makes the organization successful. So effective leaders they have to accept the solitude without resentment. They need to seek input without outsourcing responsibility. They need to maintain clarity under pressure and they need to carry the consequences of their decisions. So leadership is not only a skill set, it
52:49 is a psychological condition. Okay? And this is why it's can be so difficult to be an effective leader. Right? So uh leadership is often described as teamwork at the top. This is not truly the case. So when the stakes are highest, someone has to decide alone. Okay? And that is the burden. It is the reality of command in the military and in business. So I thank you very much for joining me. Uh if you
53:25 have thoughts, comments um about this issue, where have you experienced the loneliness of command? How has it impacted how you've handled your businesses? I, you know, drop a comment. If you look right down below you in the show notes, you'll see links to social media. Drop a a a comment in the show notes about this some something that other viewers and listeners can can benefit from knowing, right? Okay. Schedule of shows. Monday Mondays at 10 a.m. Pacific time. Trust in estates weekly. Tuesdays like today at 10:00
54:01 a.m. Pacific time. Uh business lessons from the military. Wednesdays at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time. People making money. And every other Wednesday at I'm sorry, every other Thursday at 5:00 p.m. Pacific time, meet me at Jiggers's place. We'll have a cocktail and a smoo and talk about non- finance related issues. So, thank you so much for joining me today. Wishing you a wonderful rest of the day and signing off as I always do. Marie Darlin, you are my bell. Courage at all times, my friends.