0:00 [music] And where are you going? What do you want? Hello and welcome to Jiggers's Place. I'm your host Kevin Bemel and I'm here every other Thursday to have a cocktail and a schmooz as we say and head as we head into the end of the week. So today's show is cocktails and romance. And you may be saying to yourself, isn't
0:35 that redundant? Uh I would not dispute the point. Uh the reason I call them cocktails instead of drinks is uh there is definitely a romantic connotation to the word cocktails. It speaks of being in a lovely hotel lobby with someone you adore and sharing a delicious uh liquored beverage and maybe talking about important things or talking about nothing quite really important at all. Um, and in in in some ways, uh,
1:12 Jiggers's place is a a sign of or it's it is a place of romance, I should say. So, uh, for those of you who, uh, who are are newer to the show. So, uh, this this is, uh, this is the menu here at Jiggers's place. It's a that's a picture with me and my dog, Jiggers. And of course, Jigger's Jiggers's place is named after him. If you could see right here, you would see a group of pictures that were taken. And um I want to take I
1:47 haven't done this in a long time. In fact, I'm not sure if I've ever read this before, but I wanted to read you what Jiggers's Place is all about. So, this is the first page of the menu. It says, "Welcome to Jiggers's Place, where there are no strangers, only great friends we haven't met yet. So, Jiggers by Jack Russell Terrier exemplified charisma. Only one person never succumbed to his charms. Born on 19 May 1999, Jiggers was aricolor short Jack Russell Terrier who early in his life put aside
2:24 the hyperactivity typical of his breed for an endearingly bright spirit and desire to engage every human who crossed his path. The story most emblematic of Jiggers happened during my father's stay at a nursing home. Before leaving after my first visit, I asked the staff if I could bring my dog the next time, knowing it would cheer up my father to see and pet him. To my surprise, they agreed. In Pier Aos, it's part of the Talmud. means uh ethics of the fathers
2:59 115. Shami teaches us that we should receive everyone with a cheerful face. If ever a dog embodied a mitzvah, this was it. From the moment we walked in the door, Jiggers spent every ounce of his being greeting each person as if he were finally being being reunited with his dearest longlost friend. And they loved it. That first visit after spending time with my father, he met dozens of people. The change in their bearing was
3:34 remarkable. Whether in wheelchairs or walkers, standing up or lying down, they went from being downcast to elated. Jiggers furiously wagged his stubby tail, positioned himself so they could pet him, and made them feel important. He became the talk of the home and his visits were eagerly anticipated. During all the months of making hit calls, his enthusiasm never flagged to Jiggers. There were no strangers or
4:09 insignificant people. Sadly, Jiggers died on 10 June 2012. Jiggers's place remembers his sunny presence and spreads his attitude of conviviiality. So, um, he was just a really unique little dog, I guess. Uh, I I I, you know, if you're a dog lover, I I don't doubt that you love and think loved your love your dog and think he was or he is the most special dog. And again, I wouldn't dispute that. Uh but
4:46 uh I was uh fortunate to uh spend a good portion of my life with Jiggers as my companion and and so this is this is my tribute to uh to you know to that that wonderful little dog. So in honor of romance I'm making a cocktail called Leam Rair uh the light room. Um and uh you know when I think of romance I do think of France. I think of things French and Italian. I am wearing my 11T uh jacket today. Um there is there is romance in
5:24 in in both of those uh places. And this is a pastebased cocktail. I don't think I've made I' I think I've I I don't think I've made a paste based cocktail. I've done an abbisonin cocktail as I recall. Uh so paste is a similar uh liquor to abbison. It's anisbased licorice flavored. Um I'm going to be using Pero. Um Pano is one of the classic Pastis brands. Uh it's been made since 1805,
6:00 so for over 220 years. This is a new bottle. Um, and it must be made for the United States because it's 750 milliliters. Um, I do have um, Repar, which is also um, another classic Pastis brand. Um, and this is a 70 centiliter bottle. I got this when I was in France. Uh, so I have a couple of other ones. Uh, Pastis is it is summer in a bottle. I I confess I don't drink it in the fall
6:35 and winter, but come spring and especially summer when it's hot, uh, paste is just a wonderful, wonderful beverage. So, I'm also going to be using some lemon juice. If you get the my emails, you know the recipe says fresh lemon juice. I'm I'm using pre-made uh today. Uh, I decided ran out of time. A little simple syrup and some uh orange dippers. So, and it's we're and we're going to put it in a wine glass, but we're going to shake it first. So, going to start with um an ounce and 3/4
7:11 of paste. Okay, there we go. And paste has a wonderful flavor. Unless you don't like licorice, then you're I guess you're out of luck. Uh let's see. How do I open this? Here we go. Okay. And we got some lemon juice. Yeah. 3/4 of an ounce of lemon juice.
7:49 And I believe half an ounce of simple syrup. The simple syrup is just it's just 50% uh sugar, 50% water. You can also use honey syrup, by the way, um in this cocktail. Um honey syrup may have a bit more of a summery um quality to it. And then uh we're going to put in two dashes of orange bitters. I'm using angura orange bitters. Just a real classic one. Okay. And yeah, that's it.
8:27 Okay, we're going to shake it. And again, for those of you who are regular watchers of the show, you know that the shaking is not just for mixing. It is to dilute the flavors a little bit to bring them out. The shaker is cold. It's already broken enough. And I'm using a wine glass. It has a Jack Russell carrier on. It may be hard to see on the uh on the video. Okay, let's open this up. And I'm going to pour this in.
9:06 And then we're going to dilute it with water. That is the way you drink paste. And uh you can't tell because of the lemon juice, but paste in the bottle is clear, but when you put water in it, it it gets a sort of luminous quality. Um the louch effect. And uh it's one of the things that's so fun about uh about u paste. Okay, here we go.
9:48 That is summer time. Okay, I will see you on the couch.
11:46 wasn't that silly. I didn't have my microphone on. Um, so this this cocktail is delicious. Um, but if you don't like licorice flavor, then you won't like it. But the lemon, the little bit of lemon uh really just brings out h it's just it's just luscious. Uh anyway, uh so for really all of my adult life, I've had a an internal debate, I guess you would say, about
12:21 am I a romantic? Am I a sentimental a sentimentalist? Am I a dreamer? And you know these things all have different contexts and I think some of them well they can all be fine within limits uh and they can all become you know bad traits. So, it's it's it's
12:56 fine to be a dreamer. Um, but as I'm I'm you have no idea what I'm pointing at. I'm actually in my own mind gesturing to where my office is where I have the poem if by Ruddyard Kipling. And in the poem he says, but not make dreams your aim. Meaning, it's great to have dreams to inspire us. Um but we can't become so imshed in our dreams that we lose touch with reality
13:36 [clears throat] and the same [snorts] I think is true of romance. So I finally concluded that I am indeed a romantic uh and I am also pretty sentimental. Not that the two necessarily go together, but for me they do. So then my next question to myself was,
14:12 is it a good thing to be a romantic to engage in romance? Now I should probably define what I mean because I think these days when we hear romance and being romantic, we think of it in terms of romantic love. So, you know, if if uh if you have a you know, if you're a woman and you have a romantic boyfriend, he may bring you flowers. He may make you a well, we we I guess you don't call them mixed tapes anymore, but he
14:47 may make you I I what a uh he may put together a group of songs for you to stream or something like that. Um, or he may take you on a date to the beach and you'll walk in the sand in lovely clothes barefoot and stashed behind, you know, a big uh driftwood log is a backpack with a uh bottle of champagne and two flutes in it or something like that. And and that's all wonderful. Uh I
15:23 I I think that we should uh always be looking to bring romance into our uh relationship with our spouses. It just makes getting through the hard times easier. [snorts] But a romantic life goes beyond that. I I would argue it is a perspective
16:00 on how life should work. [snorts] So presumably most people would agree when I say that life is hard. There's lots of challenges. There's problems. There's pain, sometimes suffering and none of us escape from all of these challenges, these problems in life. It is it is the nature of life. We have to sustain losses etc.
16:38 We can be conquered by those problems. We can allow ourselves to be beaten down by them or we can decide that we're going to make those difficult times part of a greater life that's dedicated to
17:15 beauty, pleasantness, and romance. You see, my parent died. What's romantic in that? There's nothing romantic in it. However, I remember to this day when I was told that my father had died. I at the time I was stationed in
17:50 Okinawa, Japan. I was a chaplain and I [snorts] was serving with the Marine Corps. And I was given the news in the way the military does. And I uh the person left me sitting in my office. And I remember sitting in my chair and the tears just started flowing from my eyes. [snorts] I was of course very sad.
18:28 But I was fortunate enough to know because my father had told me that he he was very satisfied with how with how his son had turned out and that in that respect he felt he had really accomplished something. My going into the Navy was,
19:04 I think, as special for him as it was for me. It was his son and not his teenage son, his adult son. I was 46 years old when I joined the Navy, following in his footsteps and and wanting in part to honor my father by following in his footsteps. It was one of my motivations for joining the Navy. Making that kind of career change
19:41 in my mid4s was difficult. [snorts] Going from running my own company to being part of this huge organization and I was mystified by it at times and I would call my dad up. I'm like, "Dad, what's up with these admirals?" He'd be like, "Yeah, they're a piece of work, aren't they?" You know, um my My dad had no particular love for admirals. You know, um an attitude that uh his son
20:16 uh pretty quickly learned why he had that. And we talked many many times. He helped me a lot in my uh early adjustment to military life. And he knew because I told him how much I appreciated his support, his being available for me to talk to him, his his insight into the things that were going on, his encouragement,
20:55 and how he had made it so much easier for me to make that transition. And so I I really thought I couldn't do it without his help. He thought differently. In the Navy, when someone takes over
21:31 driving the ship, we say, you know, you have the con. And sitting in my chair in my office after being told that my father had passed and just thinking about him, I came to realize that my father had decided it was time to give me the con.
22:07 He I think he was convinced I could do it. And I strove never to let him down after that. And that's to me that's part of living a romantic life. Yes. It was incredibly sad for me to uh to lose my father, but
22:42 I I um what's the word? I contextualized it in a way that I think he would have appreciated. Between father and son, between two sailors, my son, you have the con. I know you can do this.
23:19 So this idea of of romance of of of living a romantic life. So romance I think is is the internal perspective that we have being romantic are the actions that we take. The two work pretty much handin glove. And for me, they help me deal with the harshness of life because there is no doubt that life
23:55 is harsh at times at least. [snorts] We can bring romance to everything. We can make every meal we eat romantic.
24:31 We can do something as simple as having a glass of wine or a cocktail with our meal. Or, you know, maybe our family members have different favorite things. [snorts] We can be a short order cook for our family. And while it's a [snorts] little extra work, we can make our kitchens
25:06 like a diner. And if we practice enough, we can become quick enough quick. can, you know, we can prepare meals quickly enough that everybody can have something that they like and nobody's, you know, forced to eat something that, you know, well, you know, dad likes salad, so I have to eat salad, you know, kind of thing. We can light candles on the table and have conversation, maybe some quiet music playing in the background.
25:47 And we can do different things at different meals so that it doesn't get boring and we don't get into a rut. [snorts] We can open the car door for our our wife, for our daughters. We can teach our sons to open the door for their mother and their sisters.
26:22 as we're walking down the street, if a woman or maybe two women are are walking toward us and they're taking, you know, the width of the sidewalk, rather than forcing them to one get be to want for one to get behind the other or or worse, walk off the sidewalk. If we're a man, we can step off the sidewalk. We can give them a little bow as we walk by them. That happened to me earlier today when I was out exercising. Two women walking down the street. I I
27:00 think they were healthcare workers. They were in scrubs. And as we're walking toward each other, one of them walked onto the Grass Boulevard strip. And doesn't happen in my world. Ladies don't do that. and I walked onto the strip to show them that they could walk on the sidewalk. And as we approached each other, one of the ladies said, "Thank you so much." And I I turned her and I smiled. I said, "Always ladies first."
27:35 It adds a little bit of romance to our lives. Did it change their world? I don't think so. She smiled. She wasn't smiling before. Just to know that I don't know I don't there's a man who you know has a little bit of the courtliness that men used to have around.
28:13 [snorts] It's it that is acknowledging their womanhood as being something valuable for its own sake. Now the fact of the matter is I do the same thing with people who have dogs because I don't want people to have to walk in the street with their dogs. They feel, you know, they don't want their dog to annoy somebody. And I always tell them dogs have the right of way. It's okay if I have to step off the curb. I can watch out for the cars. Dog may not
28:48 necessarily do that. How bad would I feel if you know in a moment of carelessness a driver hit a dog or something? Terrible. Terrible. So, we can bring courtliness into our lives and courtliness is romance. [snorts] We can we can use beautiful words when we speak to people. We can use words of encouragement.
29:25 And and I, by the way, I don't mean telling people things just to flatter them. I mean, getting to know a person, getting to know a work colleague well enough that when we do compliment them, we're complimenting them in a way that truly resonates with them, that helps build up build them up to see themselves as the way they want to be seen.
30:03 How romantic is that? We can do that for our spouses, our children. When I was married on Friday nights, I [snorts] mean, I still celebrate the Jewish Sabbath, but when I was married, on Friday nights,
30:38 we'd get dressed up. I'd put on a tuxedo. [snorts] My wife would put on a gown. So would my daughter. On occasion, my [snorts] my wife at the time would would put on the mink stole I got her. I'd hold the chairs for them when they sat down. I served them. We had sparkling wine, maybe even a bottle of champagne.
31:14 for no other reason than to bring some elegance, some beauty, some romance into our lives. There's nothing negative about pushing aside the grittiness of life in favor of creating an oasis of calm in our homes.
31:58 I would encourage you to do so. Be on the lookout for little things that you can do for the people you love, for complete strangers. that will hearken back to the time when Ivanho roamed the English countryside.
32:37 [laughter] Birthday cart just fell off the the mantle of my fireplace. Look for an opportunity to in a tiny way maybe be the hero of your real world streets of fire. If you're a man, sing your wife a song.
33:18 Don't be Don't be concerned that maybe you look foolish. Jewish men have been singing a song to their wives on Friday nights week in and week out for millennial millennia. I think it's one of the reasons why historically Jewish marriage endured was because once a week, [laughter] no matter how badly a husband sang, he had to sing to his wife a song of praise.
33:58 The song is from Proverbs, a woman of valor. Bless your children. Use the khanic blessing. Whether you're Jewish or not, makes no difference. You can use it. Hold them close to you. Put your hand on their head. Embrace that experience. There's romance there.
34:35 It's easier to experience romance on a getaway to Paris. And don't get me wrong, the city of light will not let you down. But can you bring the city of light into your own home? Can you bring a Hollywood movie of the 40s or 50s into your home?
35:10 Can you make it part of reality? Not hoodwink people around you into thinking it, but actually create it. That's what these cocktails are. That's what Jiggers's place is all about. It's it's a time for us to bring a little romance into our lives to talk about all the amazing,
35:45 beautiful, wonderful experiences we can have together alone with friends, family, among strangers. just takes a little bit of thought, little bit of effort on our parts. So whether it's getting a little bit of salmon row and some creme fresh or sour cream and having it on bliny if you can find it or maybe it's just a
36:20 car's watercracker sitting under an umbrella outside in the sunshine with a lovely white wine or even some champagne. you. I encourage you to bring some romance into your life, into the lives of the people around you.
36:56 It'll make every other moment easier. So, I thank you for joining me here in Jurgis's place ever and always. I wish you a wonderful evening, a wonderful rest of the week, an outstanding weekend. I hope you're enjoying your summer. I hope you have air conditioning like I do. It's harder to enjoy the summer without it.
37:34 and I look forward to seeing me in a couple of weeks. I sign off all of my shows the same way. It's part of the romance of my life. My dear friend Marie was an incredibly romantic woman. She believed that I wanted to be the bow
38:10 who would help her, who would protect her in the grand tradition of southern gentlemen, even though I wasn't from the south. And so when I sign off, it's also an attempt to bring just a little bit of romance into your life. We can all be bells and bow. You just
38:46 give it a little bit of thought and act accordingly. Marie darling, you are and ever will be my bell. Courage at all times, my friends.