0:14 good afternoon and welcome to the way to wow show people making money I'm your host Kevin bemel and we're off to the uh second episode for season four and since it's January um like I did last week I wanted to work on a topic that is relevant to um planning and and moving forward with our professional success so last week I talked about goal setting and um perhaps for some of you introduced a
0:50 concept that I found very useful called conditions of satisfaction and these are really Perpetual goals so they they if you will violate the idea that a goal has to have a timeline that's that's true for a goal there are some things though in our life that they don't really have timelines they're something that we want to have in our life with consistency and and those uh my friend Jeffrey Hazlett calls conditions of satisfaction and things like the quality of our
1:27 relationships how we deal with maintaining our health so these don't I I've found anyway they don't really um uh work within the context of a goal with a fixed date to achieve it because then what happens after that where's the maintenance of it right and a lot of a lot of success in life no matter how we Define it is is that sort of Maintenance aspect of it right maintaining the success I use this uh um example I think fairly often probably
2:04 because I love this show called The Mike Douglas show that was on when I was a kid and there was a guy who used to have these sticks and he'd he'd spin plates on him and he'd run back and forth keeping the sticks spinning so the plates would keep going and and as long as you keep on going and everything was great but then at some point he it would he would start the plates would start dropping right and that's what we're trying to avoid in our lives is letting the plates drop so I really have grown to embrace this concept called conditions of satisfaction and so I invite you to check out last week's show
2:41 it's on our YouTube channel just go to youtube.com I think it's slash the way to wow and um you can see all the past episodes but especially for you know a new year talking about setting our goals and such is is is really a timely topic I think and and so I invite you to take a look at that so this week I'm going to talk about three habits to build for 23 right 2000 we're in 2023 three and three uh you know all that kind of stuff whatever you want to call
3:16 it um right before I started broadcasting a friend of mine called he said hey what's on your show today and I said uh well we're going to talk about the three habits you want to develop in 2023 and and this kind of goes again with this idea that success is not a one-off function success comes from the building of habits and from establishing longevity within the things that we want to have in our lives and so I'm I've done different parts of my book at different
3:51 times I'm gonna I'm gonna do that again this uh here we go okay so this this comes from my book that I for those of you who've seen other episodes [Music] it's gonna there we go I don't know why it's doing that there okay great and here I'm going to put myself right in front so I it looks like I'm looking at you right um so I want to talk about three habits three abilities whatever you want to call them to work on developing this year or for this year
4:27 and I want to start out by saying that there is in my opinion no way that you're going to do these things all the time striving for Perfection as as I've discussed many times I believe is counterproductive so whether we want to try and get it right ninety percent of the time or 85 percent or even just 51 percent look the majority of the time is a
5:04 worthwhile goal especially if we're trying to develop something that's new and very foreign to us so the idea that you're going to work on adopting one of these habits and and you're going to drop the ball on it you know a lot that is not a reason frankly for being upset with yourself that just makes you a human being like all the rest of us and so the idea is is not to strive for Perfection but to strive for greater consistency that's
5:40 what I recommend that you work toward and and that again that gets back to this idea of conditions of satisfaction so these are not so much that's why I talk about them as habits you may find that concept a little bit strange as we talk about these things but really uh you know we want to make them a part of the regular dealing in our life okay so one of the things that I noticed uh when I was working with service members is when they look at their professional
6:15 life in in the civilian World they want security now in the military security interestingly enough if people think of it as being a very dangerous job and for some people it is if you're in explosive ordinance division it's it's a dangerous job probably one of the most dangerous uh perhaps more dangerous than you know law enforcement and those kind of things um but most jobs in the military are not particularly dangerous they have a very high level of security you know the
6:50 check you're going to get you know you're getting paid Etc et cetera et cetera your career path is very defined and I think that's true for a lot of us in the civilian world as well you know where we don't want to deal with the ups and downs I mean you look at the kind of life that say uh you know Elon Musk is going through I I you know he's always in the news so you know he's the first one that leaps away I I don't I don't want those kind of ups and downs in my life frankly it's it's just it's too much stress it's it's too much uncertainty that's not what I'm
7:27 looking for having said that dealing wanting too much security can oftentimes impede the level of success that we achieve especially when we're talking about our professional life so the reality is that in general the income we make and the wealth we build will be fairly related to the amount of risk that we're willing to take
8:02 that's just the way it is so you look at Returns on investment the higher the percentage return the higher the risk that's why you're getting that higher percentage return there's a reason why the interest rates on Treasury bonds that are issued by the United States government are significantly lower then the interest rates on high yield bonds which are significantly higher that's because high yield bonds have a lower than investment grade rating which means there's a much greater risk of
8:37 default or problems with that bond issue then there would be what bonds issued by the federal government which are about as safe an investment as you can get and so in order to encourage investors to invest in those high-yield corporate bonds they've got to pay a much higher return we call that an investment premium right and and that's so it's very important and and that same phenomenon Works in life in general okay so the question is how do we deal with
9:12 our feelings of insecurity and and that's why here in chapter 42 in my book I say security doesn't just happen okay we build security inside ourselves okay and and so that so the first habit we've got to make is we have to learn to challenge ourselves building security is similar to building muscles
9:48 so if you think about building our physical muscles what do we do we lift weights we exercise I mean there's other things too we we you know yep it's if you have if you control your diet in a particular way it's easier to build muscles have more protein your diet Etc but basically the way you build greater physical strength is by challenging your physical strength on a regular basis and in so doing we increase our strength and our ability to deal with situations where we need to
10:23 be stronger so that's equally true of our emotional strength this the issue is oftentimes where we we don't deal with increasing our emotional strength and then something comes along and what happened it hits us you know up the side of the head as we used to say in the 70s and and this we feel like wow I just got knocked out of the game so rather than waiting to get blindsided by a major emotional challenge or a
11:00 major mental challenge we're better off periodically engaging in challenging situations so that we can take steps moderated steps to increasing our ability Okay so um we you know we we used to look um I mean we used to find security in places like our community a lot of people went you know to churches or synagogues or whatever and and they felt
11:35 security being in those places for most of us we don't have that anymore and we could talk about why or whether that's a good or bad that's that's a separate that's a separate issue like like a number of the issues that come up as we talk about these success related um situations best probably discussed over uh you know a bourbon um but in any event we need to take it upon ourselves to build up our ability to absorb change to deal
12:14 with challenges okay and you see here those are our two choices we can let ourselves be blindsided or we can we can intentionally confront change and condition ourselves to adapt to it and so and and it could come from all sorts of different areas so this is this is why it's good to engage in new things so you know if you've got an opportunity at work to take on a project that maybe you feel is out of your comfort zone
12:50 so talk to the person who's looking for someone to handle the project and say Hey you know this is this is out of my comfort zone but I'd like to take it on so I can learn I can I can have the opportunity to purposely confront Challenge and learn how to deal with it right and I think a lot of people we work with a lot of our supervisors will respect that we want to learn and grow and and and we'll be able to look to
13:25 them for for help for mentorship right and that gives us an opportunity to do that another way to purposely uh you know challenge ourselves especially professionally is even if you're in some some you have a job right now take on a side job where there's some kind of selling involved or or a regular interacting with other people teaching is is something like that teaching is a very challenging profession it's it's very rewarding and it can be a lot of fun but it's also
14:01 very challenging because we're dealing with people one-on-one and when people are trying to learn things oftentimes they feel stress and so it's up to us to help them deal with that okay so that's another opportunity get involved in some kind of volunteer work especially on a leadership level if you have children maybe you get involved in the Boy Scouts or I don't know the girl scouts or whatever and take on those leadership opportunities because then you will have an opportunity regularly to confront challenges okay it's in a volunteer situation the stakes
14:38 not as high as they might be in a professional challenge okay and most of these groups have a lot of support around them to help you learn grow figure out new ways of handling things okay so the first habit we want to develop for 2023 is to intentionally challenge ourselves so that we have the opportunity to grow and we become more emotionally more mentally durable we we build up our mental muscle okay so
15:13 that's that's you know habit number one okay increase our durability our mental durability by intentionally challenging ourselves okay habit number two we need to examine the way we talk to ourselves and make sure that we're talking to ourselves in a way that supports ourselves
15:48 not runs not not runs ourselves down not that that sentence sounds funny but that's basically what it is that's what by the way that's this is uh you know uh you know you you this is we found the enemy um and and the enemy is us almost all of us are our own worst enemies when it when it comes to uh you know getting greater success and oftentimes it's because we talk to ourselves in a way that we would never
16:24 talk to other people we put ourselves down okay I I jokingly said to my daughter or this is probably a couple months ago sweetie you never seem to pass by an opportunity to put yourself down and and it's it's it's sad she's such a wonderfully accomplished young woman she's a a sweet girl she's all these wonderful things and yet if something goes wrong she is so hard on herself and she compounds whatever mistakes she
17:01 made she's made by beating the you know what out of her beating the pucky out of herself now you'll say okay well she's a teenager that's what teenagers do that's probably true okay having said that such behaviors become lifelong habits how do I know this I did it myself I did it myself I used to talk to myself way worse than I would ever talk to you know a a dog that had
17:38 done something wrong and and I I still catch myself doing it sometimes and it's completely counterproductive okay now by the way I I want to mention here I'm not talking about what my friend Michael and I call toxic positivity to be honest with you I cannot stand that I was in a meeting yesterday and the the guy was giving us like we're gonna do this like okay one of the gentle so it's a little bit too much for
18:13 me uh look there are real challenges in life we make real mistakes and sometimes those mistakes actually hurt us they actually hurt other people they may hurt people we love they may hurt strangers and and they're not good that's just the situation I don't like this sort of attitude we're going to turn everything into a positive thing I mean it is true that when we
18:50 make a mistake so then we have an opportunity to learn and we can apologize to the people we hurt but that doesn't make it all go away okay and and and I don't think we should fool ourselves into thinking that it does having said that beating ourselves up especially on a long-term basis is very very very counterproductive it's not it's not going to help the other person it's certainly not going to help us and it's not going to rectify
19:25 the situation okay what what's done is done we need to fix it as best we can and then we need to move on and hopefully not make the same mistakes again excuse me I don't know what it is runny nose I'm gonna start dripping soon um so one of the one the second habit we want to work to build is Conquering negative self-talk now some people will say we need to talk
20:02 positively to ourselves and and there is some Merit to that idea I I think we just need to talk kindly to ourselves which means stopping saying things like oh you idiot why did you do that or you're so stupid or oh you're so worthless or what a piece of you know blah blah blah blah you are those kind of things are just not they're not helpful they are not helpful at all now here's where I differ I think from a lot of people
20:37 who talk about this you will find that a lot of people who talk about so-called positive self-talk they'll say well the first thing you need to do is learn to control your thoughts I don't believe you can do that we can't control our thoughts we just can't thoughts come they go right you may have done this exercise before I mean you're sitting in a room sometimes okay now don't think about an elephant I stop thinking about an elephant right what and what's the only thing you can
21:13 think about now an elephant because that's how our brains work so I'm not saying stop thinking negative thoughts because sometimes you're going to and that's normal I think it's again counterproductive to suggest you should never think negative thoughts there's some like there's as if there's something wrong with us when we think a negative thought okay if I'm walking down the TR down if I'm walking down the sidewalk and I trip on nothing okay I feel foolish
21:50 I think I look stupid right I just do um that's just it and my head immediately says my you know come on you Klutz that's what that's what's in my head and so my but the Habit that I've developed about that and and I frankly have been somewhat clumsy my whole life that that's why one of my my that's my my longest standing friend's mother once said to me after watching me do a performance uh of all things a ballet
22:25 performance in uh Alice in Wonderland she came backstage to me and she looked at me she said you really can't dance like yeah I know I cannot right I'm just it's whatever you know I never developed graceful ways uh I you know I enjoy dancing to these things that I do but uh you know nuriev never had competition from me and for those of you who don't know who Rudolph nuryev was I invite you to do a do an internet search and you'll find out uh who who who who who who who he
23:01 was I believe he's deceased now in any event we're going to sometimes think negative thoughts we want to do what what I call mental jujitsu and what I mean by that is we want to be able to as fluently as possible shift from having that negative thought to moving back moving away from uh get this this sort of pit we get into a thinking
23:36 how stupid we are that kind of stuff so I've taught myself when I trip over nothing I laugh the first person I see who's looking at me who probably is thinking oh my gosh this guy's a class I I laugh and I kind of go and I go like this ah what am I gonna do like usually the person laughs back we have a chuckle at my expense good I made somebody's day better and you know off I go right that's one way I conquer negative self-talk now we can have we can develop
24:11 certain mantras that that we use in certain situations so um I I I don't I do my best not to use profanity you know I won't get into the big the whys and the where for is I just I just think for me I I don't want to be talking that way it does offend some people and and I think even for people who have no problem with profanity they don't need me using it in front of them they they can hear it at lots of
24:46 other places and despite that sometimes I will still especially if I'm particularly stressed out or angry paying outcomes you know a a so-called bad word okay so what do I do about that well the first thing I do is I go ah and what I want to say is something that again I say ah bless myself or I'll say God bless me right and it turns
25:24 it on its head now obviously I'm not thinking that God is going to bless me for doing something that I think is something I ought not to be doing of course not of course not what I'm trying to do what I'm working to do is bring myself back to a more positive way of expressing myself while acknowledging hey I made a mistake okay I made a mistake fine I gotta get myself back on the right track and that's the mental Jujitsu that I do I love that term Jiu
26:00 Jitsu it's it comes from the the martial art where basically um as I understand it and for you those of you who are martial arts experts if I'm mistaken in this feel free to let me know but as I understand Jiu Jitsu it's like you're using the other person's weight and and strength against him right and so that's I I think that you know there's a certain gracefulness in that so if we can take the negative and sort of flip it over against itself and and and and and and defeat it
26:37 right that makes us feel stronger going forward okay that's why I use that term uh Jiu Jitsu so which is a couple of things here uh that I think it's it's it's worth noting so um uh Harvard University psychologist there Daniel wegner's research shows that trying very hard not to think about something almost guarantees that you will think about it okay of course we know this we we know that that's that's the case so again I I want to emphasize we're not looking to control our
27:14 thoughts okay as far as I'm concerned there's only two things we basically control in our lives what we say and what we do those are the only two okay and when I say what we say I mean what we say out loud and I think if we if if those are the two things we work on that's enough so if we can get better control over what we say and how we behave
27:51 we're going to advance far more than we would if we're trying to control our thoughts which I think is basically an impossibility anyway okay so that's why when when I talk about conquering negative thoughts we want to conquer we want to not conquer it but we want to overcome it if you will by actually verbalizing out loud something to counteract it okay so we can have
28:29 um affirmations and and I have a whole group of affirmations that I read um on a um um I don't read them every day now I read them every other day um because I've I've shifted my my morning routine and I've I've got I've got my background um uh you know focused out but if you were if you could see it right here um if those of you who were with me last week I was talking about my conditions of satisfaction and such so at the bottom I have my um my affirmations and uh one is one of
29:06 them is I will multiply my value by a thousand okay and um I will take an attitude of what more can I do in other words what more can I do to help other people okay another one is I will laugh at the world okay and I'm part of the world so when I make mistakes what I do is try and especially if especially well I should say if the mistake only really negatively affected me then I want to laugh at myself okay
29:41 now if I made a mistake that hurt another person of course I want to try and make it as right with the person as I can first but I will look for the humor in whatever it was that I did from the other person's perspective not from my perspective there's nothing funny about hurting another person and I don't think most people appreciate that now I I will say sometimes my daughter like she'll do something uh
30:16 uh you know that I'm not hurts my feelings and like oh okay but you know she'll she'll she'll zing me and and and I think she does I'm not even sure she intends to do it on purpose right so in that case uh look I I wanna I don't want her to feel bad about that I don't think she does it on purpose so I may make a joke at my own expense even though I was you know presumably the one that was hurt okay having said that I I do encourage her if she says something that another person took offense at don't double down
30:52 by making a joke about it because I don't think most people appreciate that so I think we need to acknowledge oh gosh I didn't realize how that sounded or I didn't realize I didn't think about how you might have interpreted that I I certainly didn't mean it I didn't mean to hurt you I didn't mean it in a bad way uh gosh you know sometimes I get my tongue over my eye teeth and I just can't see what I'm saying that's one of my favorite phrases and and oftentimes people will you know chuckle about that because it's it's
31:27 it's sort of a nonsensical thing to say even though it makes some kind of sense right so I I do try and overcome how I've hurt someone using humor just not humor targeted at them because I because again I don't think they're going to find that to be particularly funny okay so that's one of the ways and we can do that with ourselves as well so if we do something foolish if we hurt ourselves so you know let's let's laugh
32:03 on ourselves a little bit let's not take ourselves so seriously we've been we'll be much better off work our mental health will improve if we don't take ourselves so seriously so if we make a mistake even if it's a bad mistake the best way to deal with it I found is to figure out okay why did I do this if it's possible to know how can I avoid doing it next time and now how can I make it funny many of the dumbest things I've done in my life have now become funny stories that I
32:40 tell people because that way it takes the sting out okay and so that's another way to deal with it so you can use you can use affirmations positive affirmations you can use uh techniques for again this is sort of mental I can't even say it Jiu Jitsu to do it all of these things are there to help us not get bogged down in
33:15 negative self-talk that's what we're looking to avoid okay and and and so look for ways to do that okay so well I want to end this one by saying like I said you know at the beginning of the show we are not looking to eliminate negative self-talk everybody does it I think at some times that's not what we're looking to do if that goal of
33:50 perfection is it's it's a bridge too far okay what we're looking to do is minimize its impact on us that's what we're looking to do okay to speed up transitioning out of the mindset that negative that a negative comment about ourselves puts us in so that we can get to a more resourceful Place more quickly that's what we're looking to do we're gonna make mistakes we're going to have negative thoughts okay we're going to hurt ourselves we're
34:25 going to hurt other people we just need to accept that and then we need to figure out how do I move on from that and not get trapped in this sort of cycle of negative self-talk okay so reviewing now for a minute habit number one intentionally confront challenges number two learn to overcome negative self-talk okay those are our first two of our three habits for 23. all right now let's
35:03 go to the third one which is okay here we go foreign anymore okay it happened thousands of years ago you know if you if you believe the biblical stories okay um it it doesn't happen now okay uh you
35:38 know even for people who win the lottery I'm not I'm not sure we could classify that as Manna From Heaven so we we need to figure out our plan to success and we need to work to get our plan or to to make our plan for Success come to fruition that's that's what it's going to take okay now I was thinking about this just gosh I think over the weekend you know it used to be
36:13 this would we'd have to be going back now at least 150 years I think to when there was still substantial portions of wilderness in the United States used to be you know you could get your trusty rifle you could have your knapsack and you could walk off into the forest and you could live and you could pretty much live on your own you could hunt fish build yourself a shelter
36:49 and that and that was it that that was life we really we we can't do that anymore first of all I'm not I don't think there's any place in the United States you can just go off and live off the land like that anymore I don't think there's any place you can hunt year round anymore right you gotta have a hunting license a fishing license right you can't go live in a you know National Park or a national forest year round I don't I don't think you can is there any land in this in in the United States that's not owned by somebody a government or or privately owned for sure we can't go on private land and do
37:25 that not without risking getting kicked off it just that life option doesn't exist anymore the reality is life today means building a life interacting with other people that's just what it is now hopefully hopefully maybe that's too strong having good relationships
38:00 typically means we're living a better life people who have strong relationships are happier they're healthier they tend to live longer there's all kinds of benefits from having good relationships one of the keys to building good relationships is somewhat counter-intuitive so you see people who want to build relationships and what they do is
38:37 they look for opportunities to help others now by the way that can certainly be a part of building strong relationships the part that a lot of people leave out is they don't ask for help I purposely left some silence there for a few moments to give you a chance to really think about that
39:14 so I talked to someone not too long ago who has uh spent his life taking care of other people and never asking for help from anyone and now this person is in a situation where the person can't live his life on his own and for the first time in his life he's actually having to ask people for help and it's been eye-opening for him
39:52 and it has improved his relationships significantly now I can tell you that my relationship with with this this friend has improved significantly I'm and gratefully so I'm one of the people this person reached out to to ask for help and it's been my absolute pleasure to help the person hey so one of the habits we need to develop this year
40:28 is the ability to ask for help when we need it okay and and and that can take all kinds of forms right I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday and part way through the conversation he said to me I know I shouldn't even be calling you about this so because there's really nothing to be done I'm like well it's true there's nothing we can do about it right now but that doesn't mean you shouldn't call me it's perfectly appropriate for you to call me
41:03 I'm your friend who else should you call right if you're feeling anxiety give me give me a call maybe I'm feeling anxiety too we can work on our anxiety together or whatever it is right and good for him that he did call even when his his uh Instinct was no I shouldn't bother Kevin okay now of course we have to strike a balance in many cases we can't be asking for help from someone every day although in
41:40 certain circumstances we can if the situation is dire enough we may really need to lean on friends and we may need their help very often okay that was certainly the case for me uh a year a year ago and I I will tell you I was extremely gratified to learn that when I reached out to friends oftentimes very frequently they were not only there but they were very happy that I did Reach Out
42:16 because it gave them an opportunity to return care that over the years I think they felt they got from me and it deepened and enriched our relationships in in a very important way and by the way there were some people I reached out to who didn't want to help okay well they just told me something really important didn't they we didn't really have the relationship that we thought we had to know too Okay so you may be fearing well but if I ask
42:51 this person for help what if they say no and my response is that's a good piece of information to have okay that's why I encourage you to start now with maybe asking for little bits of hell sort of sticking your toe in the water as they say right is the water really cold and you gotta yank your toe out because it's so cold it's going to give your dough frostbite so that same thing works in relationships if you're not sure whether this person
43:27 is really someone who's interested in helping you well so maybe there's something very small you need help with maybe you just need a a piece of advice about something okay or maybe you need a referral to a particular person or something like that okay that you know that's a pretty easy thing for most people to do if they won't even help you on that they're telling you something it's really worth knowing which is if the crunch comes God forbid
44:02 this is not someone you can rely on okay so just like building our emotional muscle we need to build our health muscle okay help is a reciprocal function in relationships if your relationships are always about helping it's time for you to become the healthy as we say right the helper the one giving the help the lp the one receiving the help
44:38 it's very important it's very important here's one of the reasons most here's one of the most critical reasons why if we're always the one helping after a while we teach people to be one of two things either selfish and to expect more and more and more from us or we make them feel guilty because we're always helping them but they never have a chance to help us back neither one of those is good for
45:15 building a strong relationship strong relationships come from mutuality and that's what we need to build the challenge is a lot of times people they don't know how to help us and and why why should they especially if we're a helping person most helping people look pretty self-sufficient so the person is left basically how can I help you I I have no idea so help it will help them out by letting
45:51 them know how they can help you and like I said just start out with something small right and and and you'll you'll start to see who are your real friends you may be surprised okay you may be pleasantly surprised people may feel much more strongly positively about you than you really ever considered you may even have a friend say to you know I'm so glad I had the opportunity to help you out I've I've you know honestly felt a little guilty over the years you've always helped me out so
46:27 much I I'm glad to be able to return the favor what a beautiful thing you've just done right and and by the way by making yourself a little bit vulnerable you make yourself more accessible to the person and you give them a chance to open up their vulnerabilities to you now you know well Kevin I I have a little problem with intimacy I I don't mean sexual intimacy I mean emotional intimacy okay I I can hear it
47:02 I can hear it that's why I recommend you start out small just start out with something that's that's not too big a risk okay and then let it let it grow okay and by the way you don't need to do this with everyone you know maybe just pick two or three people for the first part of this year and maybe just think about one or two ways you can ask ask each of them for help over the next several months so you're asking for help maybe
47:37 you know six times in six months so one you're gonna ask one person one time a month for help and see and see how that feels see how that goes well that that's pretty good and you can you can test out the waters okay so habit number three for 2023 is ask for help learn how to ask for help appropriately graciously
48:12 Etc okay so uh let's let's review now the three habits we need to build on for Success this year okay let's see if I can remember them number one consciously challenge ourselves if we want to feel secure the best way we can do that is by building our self-confidence we can build our self-confidence step by step or little by little by
48:48 choosing the challenges we're going to confront so that we can keep them with you know roughly within what we think are our abilities just challenging ourselves a little bit and dealing with those and then once we feel comfortable at that level going to the next level okay so purposely challenge yourself on a regular basis that's number one number two number two uh conquer negative self-talk or negative self thoughts
49:24 okay do that by having some uh all of a sudden I forgot the name of the term uh some affirmations that you can fall back on and by the way the best way to build affirmations in your life is to literally say them out loud every day okay I do it I do it in the morning I haven't pasted to my bathroom mirror and between brushing my teeth and shaving I you know vocalize my affirmations okay so that's one way to do it the second way is to just develop some habits to
50:02 shortcut you know the the whole sort of negative the the whole self-critical process right laughter I've found is the most powerful way for doing that so learn to laugh at Art we need to learn to laugh at ourselves okay but one way or another we need to conquer negative self-talk and number three let's make it a habit to ask for help okay look at where the challenges are in your
50:38 life that you're having trouble overcoming okay so as you start to purposely confront challenges at some point you're going to come up with a challenge that you don't have the resources for on your own to overcome that's the time to think about who do I know who can help me with this is there somebody I need to meet is there someone who's ahead of me in this particular area of my life maybe this person will will consider talking to me or maybe even coaching me
51:14 uh on a somewhat regular basis or something like that look for those opportunities to ask people for help now by the way if you are not already someone who's helping people then then you better also build your habit of helping people I'm I'm coming at this assuming you're already helping people and and you're uh where where we're blocked is asking other people for help it just seems that most of people I know they tend to be very helping people they have trouble asking for help and so we want to
51:50 develop the habit of asking people for help okay one last time we'll review the three number one consciously consciously challenge ourselves number two overcome negative self-talk and three learn how to ask for help those are the three habits we want to build for 2023 and that's what I've got for you for today so we I have a little bit of extra time and so I just want to throw this out there
52:25 if you know someone who has an interesting career and interesting profession and you think they might want to be a guest on the show or maybe you have an interesting career and you'd like to be a guest drop me a comment send me an email my all of my all the social media for the show and the email address for the show will be listed in the show notes so let me know would love to um get in touch with you and and and and work out your being a guest or like I said if you if you have a friend or a
53:00 colleague that you think would be a great guest let me know about them I'm happy to contact them directly so that's number one number two if there is a topic that you want to hear about something maybe I haven't addressed that that you want to learn about let me know okay I'll be happy to do a show on the topic and and be able to help you out in that specific way okay and the third thing is if you know of someone who's looking for greater professional success please tell them
53:36 about the show it will help them that's what we're that's what we're here to do is help each other okay so send them a link to the show or maybe there's a particular show I mean send them a link to the channel or maybe there's a particular show that you liked tell them about it and and and let them view it and if you have comments about any particular show put them in the comments section good or bad I I'm I'm gonna respond trust me on this okay uh well trust me on this what do you know I I hope you will try what I
54:12 should have said is I hope you will trust me on this so let me know and and and like I said I will respond okay so that that'll do it for today and that just leaves me to say as as I always do for my my dear friend who's you know gone on from this world Marie you are still my bell so thank you thank you very much for joining me here on the way to wow people making money we're here every Thursday 12 30 p.m Pacific Time 3
54:51 30 p.m Eastern Time an hour in for the other two time zones I hope hope we are helping you out and I look forward to seeing you next week courage at all times my friends