0:23 good afternoon and welcome to the way to wow show I'm your host Kevin bemel and we are here every Wednesday at 12 30 p.m Pacific time that's 3 30 p.m on the east coast and we talk about all things related to careers professions business and uh also uh personal finances wealth building so the idea is for for those of you who can see the graphic back here within the three pillars of attainment to focus on the Pursuits pillar and the it's opposite doing this the finances
1:01 realm and to build this part of our life recognizing that it's one part of our overall life including ourself our relationships and our Pursuits so so today uh I'm gonna be talking about um how to be actually finding the kind of career that that you want and um there's a a section in my book on on this topic that I'm going to address and
1:36 so let's let's just jump right into that go ahead and share my screen so okay so here's here's the thing and and and this is something um I I hope you'll you'll take to heart here let me uh increase the size of this so it can be seen more easily oops okay there we go so maybe just one more and that way I have made it disappear okay so I want to put the perspective in
2:13 in into your your job search so we've we've talked before on the show about how strong the job Mark the job market is right now and and and it it remains so by a lot of indicators however because of the way uh job hunting is done these days there's a lot of competition for the best jobs so if if especially if you're looking for something that's high paying almost for sure you're not going to be
2:49 the only potential candidate there is a way to short-circuit that and that's what I'm going to talk about but if you're counting on finding a great job through online job boards and that sort of thing uh honestly you're really stacking the odds against you so just want to make a bit of a metaphor here so talking about I'm not a gambler okay I appraised too many casinos saw too much of what goes on behind the scenes to you know get into
3:26 gambling okay so but the reality is that gambling built Las Vegas without it it would just be a little sleepy Village in the middle of the desert so people um you know they have their games that they like but the one that you seem to see most often in in uh is sort of the epitome of gambling is roulette so in a standard roulette wheel you have 36 numbers and in America you also have zero and double zero now in Europe by the way you only
4:01 have zero you don't have double zero so that actually um in in America the odds that you'll lose are higher because of there's both a zero and a double zero so the odds that you will that your you know the little white ball will land on any particular number on the roulette wheel are 2.63 in other words it's very small okay now if you're betting red versus black so the uh the odds that you'll that you'll win
4:38 are 47.37 now you say to yourself well wait a minute it's got to be on either red or black so it's got to be 50 50. no because it can fall on zero or double zero those are neither red or black and everybody loses this is this is why in the end over the long term casinos make money off of roulette because there's numbers that the ball will fall on where everybody loses no matter what so to a certain extent this is what the
5:15 internet has done to job hunting so now that people can go online and apply for jobs with in in many cases with just a couple of clicks right so there's there's very little person-to-person contact if any in that process and here's what I want you to look like resumes are submitted through websites with uh with one out of 118 to 250 people being chosen your odds of Landing the job are less than one percent okay
5:51 so um and look at this for most people job hunting means going online only four to ten percent of people use who use this method exclusively get a job that way so the reality is the odds that you're going to get a job purely by working the you know the online job hunting is far less than one percent or another way of putting that is you're more likely to get your oops where is it there it is you're more likely to get your number coming up in roulette than
6:27 you are in getting a job working purely online job boards and that sort of thing okay so and and by the way and by the way for those people who gamble professionally I'm told you know real gamblers will play may play Blackjack they may play craps or they may play poker where at least there's at least some skill involved in winning okay and and those are the favored games like the worst odds are roulette there's no skill in in roulette it's it's pure
7:02 chance okay in in a way when you're job hunting only online you're you're essentially job hunting by pure chance that that's the bottom line it's it's just not the way to go so what do you do well the reality is if you want a job hunt successfully you have to self-market and and this is this is difficult for a lot of people uh it's I it's difficult for me to be honest and I you know I do this this stuff for a living
7:37 so I was talking to a friend of mine who um got laid off uh gosh about three four months ago now and he was he was talking about how the company that laid him off referred him to a resume writing company to write his resume and he was reluctant to use it but they kept saying oh you got to do this you got to do this and so finally he did and he said you know he got the resume back and he said you know there's a big difference between marketing yourself and and in essence flat out lying which is what they did on
8:14 his resume he felt right so we don't want to lie the the problem with that right is is is you're creating a false image of who you are and when you actually get to do the job you're you know you're setting yourself up for failure so so but we want what we want to do is honestly self-market ourselves and that starts with doing a candid assessment of what your knowledge skills and experience will um will qualify you to do
8:50 okay now I want to um stress the difference between stretching yourself and misleading employers so it's perfectly valid to stretch yourself so if you've never been a VP of marketing but you've done marketing all your life well or all your not all your life but all your professional career and you sincerely believe that that you can uh successfully fill a VP of marketing role so there's no reason to not go after
9:27 that position merely because you haven't done it before it doesn't mean you cannot do it it's perfectly legitimate to say I feel I'm completely qualified for this role and here's why one and one of the reasons not being that you've done it before okay so some employers will will they will like that okay provided you get the opportunity to actually talk to them so rather than spamming jog boards and that sort of thing well there are there are much more productive things for you to do and so
10:04 what what I'm going to talk about are the things you can do to um to create a a a proactive job hunting mode okay I'm gonna give you five tasks that you can work on to give you a proactive uh job hunting process okay first of all optimize your LinkedIn profile okay now that sounds maybe sounds silly why you know by I need to do a resume no
10:40 no I mean resumes just really aren't that important these days um most employers when they're considering you for a role the first thing they're going to do is look at your LinkedIn resume okay and and the reason it that's the case will become evident in a little while but even if you're applying for a job online through a job board or even through the
11:17 company's website okay one of the first steps that a live person is going to do in evaluating whether to call you in for a meeting is to look at your LinkedIn profile okay I was I was actually listening to a recruiter last night talking about her recruiting process and she goes she uses LinkedIn every well every day yeah five days a week right every every working day um and one of the things so she was talking about what does she look for well number one she said if a profile doesn't have a
11:53 picture not even going to bother with that person if they can't even bother to put a picture on their profile not gonna not gonna not gonna bother okay number two if the person doesn't look Pleasant if they're not smiling if they're not nicely dressed done not gonna even bother with them that's that's the minimum uh standards from her standpoint to you know potentially even getting in the door okay and by the way if those of
12:31 you who are familiar with LinkedIn they have this thing you can think this little it goes around your picture it says open to work right interestingly enough she doesn't necessarily look for that okay I mean if it's there fine but just because it doesn't say open to work doesn't mean she won't look at your profile she will oftentimes if if the person is is smiling and they have a good presentation in terms of how they're dressed and and they they've met her search criteria she she works primarily with um nurses and military veterans so
13:08 if they if they meet those criteria you know nicely dressed Pleasant you know look on their face smiling whatever and they're a nurse or a veteran she's going to click through their profile even if it doesn't say open to work because she's going to look at what they're doing what what you know what their current job is what their background is what maybe some kind of statement about what their aspirations are their professional aspirations are and if it sounds like the person is a good fit for her organization she's going to reach out to the person proactively okay and that's what you
13:43 want that's what you want to do down again I don't know how much you track your LinkedIn profile but I I find that it it reports periodically how many people are checking out my profile right and if I wanted to pay for premium I could actually find out who they are but it you know in any given week I may have between 10 and 35 or 40 people checking out my profile proactively okay so you want to optimize your LinkedIn profile it's your it's it's not just an online resume in that sense it's it's
14:20 really an opportunity to present the story of who you are from a professional perspective what is your background what is your experience what is your knowledge all of those things are there what are your skills um you'll see we'll talk about some other things in a minute but in essence you want to tell a story on your LinkedIn profile okay starting out with your headline okay and then going into the summary okay and then on down from
14:55 there okay so think of it that way um and by the way uh for those of you who who want it um I'm happy to send you a link so you can download a PDF copy of of my book which is what we're looking at right now and you can see here it says use the information on resume writing in chapters 28 through 30 to craft an outstanding profile so there's all kinds of individual things that you want to do I'm happy to share that with you okay so provide evidence of your qualification so I see here if a
15:31 picture's worth a thousand words videos worth a million right if you've got a short video that somehow shows what your abilities are post it okay um you know if if look if you're a writer okay you need to post some of your writing if you're doing anything in marketing at all you need to post some kind of video okay if you're doing anything in media at all if you're doing anything in sports at all you've got to post it now if you're not in a you know
16:06 a profession that that you know seems to naturally lend itself to video figure it out if you're in some kind of Health Care get it show a video of you you know pretending at least to give an injection to a patient right um you know make it up what I mean all what you're showing is how you interact with people how creative is that okay if you're in in retail sales okay do a short video of of how you interact with
16:41 a potential customer showing them you know the goods that you're selling maybe maybe you sell women's wear so you know go in a sort look believe me and and this in this regard you're better off to ask forgiveness than permission go into a store with a friend uh well with two friends you're actually gonna need because you're gonna need one to take the video with your phone the other friend to pretend to be the customer and you to be the salesperson right and just do it one minute video of you showing them and how you interact how personable you are wow think about the impact that that's going
17:17 to have so get creative and then post it on your LinkedIn profile do more than one showing off more than one of your skills okay next get endorsements Okay so um if you've been in the military for example you're going to have what are called oers or evals or fit reps or whatever in those documents you actually have endorsements and you can take an excerpt out of them and and put that on your LinkedIn profile with respect to you
17:52 know your time in the military okay by the way the the other thing you have to be important you have to be careful about if you're in the military is make sure you're using civilian language not military terminology okay if you were a you know chief petty officer and that that sounds cool but you're going to also have to translate as to what that means in terms of a civilian equivalent because otherwise people won't know if you were a staff sergeant if you were a lieutenant okay people know what these they know these words but they don't really know how you know how much responsibility goes with them how where are they in the sort of hierarchy that
18:27 sort of thing now you may have worked for a civilian company that does written performance reports so great so take some excerpts out of those and put them on your LinkedIn profile okay reach out to people uh that you know who will endorse you for skills or will write an endorsement for you okay so there's nothing wrong with doing that it I mean you know don't pay them for it right you want to be you want to be act with Integrity but if you reach out to a friend who knows your professional
19:02 abilities and say hey would you you know post an endorsement on my LinkedIn profile sure yes okay great right or or maybe make a deal I'll post one for you you post one for me okay now they may say I don't know what to say about you so ghost write it and say hey look here's here's here's you know the gist of what I want you to say turn this into your own language just edit it into your own language and and post it thank you very much okay now my friend Matthew Fritz um has a book called leveraging LinkedIn Pro your LinkedIn profile for success I do recommend that book it's an it's a
19:38 short book um not very expensive you can get it on um Amazon I'll I'll I'll do my best to remember to put a link to it in the show notes um but but it's a nice little book and has lots of great suggestions okay so number one optimize your LinkedIn profile or I guess you know step a let me optimize your LinkedIn profile okay next focus on LinkedIn okay and this is kind of an older statistic I don't think it's changed much 94 of recruiters were active on LinkedIn but
20:14 only 36 percent of job Seekers were okay on six on Facebook 65 percent of recruiters are active but 83 percent of job Seekers are so where you have the better odds clearly on LinkedIn okay so really focus on on LinkedIn um it is Far and Away the job hunting and professional Hub of all the social media sites okay now here's the thing only roughly 20 percent of jobs get
20:52 advertised okay and the one the jobs that are getting advertised are the ones that employers are having the most difficulty filling now there's there's probably a reason they're having difficulty filling it and and some of those reasons may be it's not an interesting job you've got to live in some place that a lot of people don't want to live in it it has you know very long hours or um uh very difficult working conditions
21:28 or it it may be just a real boring job and and and so they hire people and then after a short time they leave or it may be that the the supervisor of that job the person that that the person would report to that the job holder would report to is terrible to work with okay and that's why that job is posted okay so the um the job that you want is among the other 80 percent the ones
22:03 that don't get advertised okay so the reality is you're not going to find that job on a job board you're going to find it through some kind of internal contact either you reaching out or someone reaching out to you that's why I mentioned this recruiter that I was listening to last night she's reaching out to people that she thinks are good candidates for success for her business
22:38 okay and and she's not advertising anywhere I guarantee you she's not okay it's not it's not a a method of attracting people that has any value for her and her organization because she's looking for individuals with very specific abilities one of which is their their people skills their so-called soft skills okay and and and you know she wants to interact with people to determine how how well they do in in
23:13 that Arena before she goes any farther and so for her to advertise you know she's just going to get a lot of people that she's going to have to screen and and it doesn't make sense for her to use her time that way okay so that's why she reaches out likewise you want to reach out to the companies and the people that you're interested in working for okay and um uh and I I have a video if you if you go on my um YouTube uh Channel you'll see a video
23:49 titled uh under the relationships category how to create relationships using LinkedIn so I since I've already explained how to do that in a previous show I'm not going to get into that here you're going to want to take the time to do it um but suffice it to say LinkedIn is the ideal place for initiating professional relationships and then building them and that is really your goal when you're job hunting it's to build relationships with people who who are in an industry that
24:24 you want to be a part of or doing the kind of work that you want to do so that they get to know you they get to know who you are what your abilities are what your knowledge is and so then when one of those 80 of jobs that isn't advertised comes up your foremost in their minds okay so what does that really say if you don't have a job you know you've you've really got your work cut out for you because you know you you probably need to get employment as soon as possible and it takes time to create
25:01 these relationships so you are in a much better place to job hunt while you're still employed I cannot stress this highly enough okay whether you're in the military and transitioning out whether you're in well you're probably out of college now at least for the summer but maybe you're in summer school while you're in college before you hit you've seen your your graduation start your job hunt Okay it can easily take 12 to 18 months to find the job
25:37 that you really want so give yourself that lead time I mean if you're in a job that you just cannot stand the still in general and this is a general piece of advice don't quit that job you will be much better off job hunting while you have a job okay so that's that's what you want to do you want to make it a process of of connecting with people in getting finding internal contacts within organizations and and working those
26:14 developing those relationships so that now you're a part of I know this word gets overused sometime you're part of the ecosystem of that industry okay and you're a prime candidate to for for the company to reach out to or to hear about a great opening that's come up um and and snag it before you know somebody else does okay so that's that's b c okay uncover hidden gems okay what
26:49 you're looking for are the genuine leaders in your field okay now let me let me give you an example right if I say electric cars or electric vehicles the first person who pops into your head was it Elon Musk right Tesla probably okay he's he is a genuine leader in the field what do you think the chances are of of of your being able to create a relationship with Elon Musk that would lead to your getting a job in the
27:25 electric vehicle field would you agree with me it's it's probably pretty slim right he he's a very busy guy he's he's got a lot of things that he's involved with and to catch his to really catch his eye um is going to be very very difficult so although he's a genuine leader in the field he's way too well known so when I say find genuine leaders in the field what I mean are people who are leading the progress in the field okay and while Elon Musk is an engineer and
28:02 he understands I assume you know the engineering of electric vehicles I at this point I'm I'm guessing he's not really the one who's driving the project the progress from a science and engineering standpoint he's got tons of people at at Tesla who are doing that for him now he may meet with them and hear ideas and and give them input on their ideas or whatever because of his background but he's not the one who's really you know driving the progress in that sense the the Hands-On progress okay so what you want to do is you want
28:39 to find those people because they're the ones that are doing what you want to do again if if you're in the electric vehicle field now by the way maybe you want to be in EVS but you don't want to be doing engineering maybe you want to be on the business side well again although um you know uh Elon Musk uh changed in many ways the model of how cars are sold okay he's not really driving that Innovation anymore what he's doing is he's working with the people in his
29:14 organization who who handle that encouraging them to drive the Innovation and those are the people you want to meet if you're if you're interested more in the the marketing and sales of EVS okay so can you see you see a distinction here and by the way if you got a chance to go to some conference where um Elon Musk was was speaking right especially if he's going to be doing a small breakout Group by all means go if you can get in right and then sit right in front of where he is and be sure to ask a couple of great questions and then
29:50 at the end of the um you know meeting go up and introduce yourself and shake his hand and and you know make that connection I mean it's it's certainly not going to hurt but just don't count on you know being able to call up you know Elon Musk the next day and say hey Lon it was great seeing you at the conference what have you got open in your companies I'm looking for a job you know you'd be extremely fortunate if he passed your name mind to somebody in the company and said hey I saw I met this guy yesterday you know call him up he's looking for a job probably not going to happen Okay so what you want to do is look for the
30:27 people who are really you know doing the work so to speak okay because they're also going to be the ones who are more likely to be the hiring managers okay this is not the HR people okay generally speaking the HR people aren't the hiring managers per se because they don't really know the specifics of of what a particular Department in a company needs okay so the hiring manager is going to be someone who is is involved in the department most likely okay and and so
31:02 that's and that's who you're more likely to meet when you're finding the genuine leaders okay and by the way you know just because someone is doing a lot of self-promotion that doesn't necessarily mean that they're a gen genuine leader so you need to look I mean it's so common you know influencers right I don't know about you but I I I I I I get influencer fatigue in the sense that I mean what does it take to be an influencer these days frankly not a lot I mean if if you're good with social media I think you can become an
31:37 influencer you know almost literally overnight that's not who you're looking for you're looking for people with a track record of success doing what it is that you want to do okay so forget the self-promoters forget the so-called influencers find the genuine leaders who are really involved in the in the industry or in the business that you want to be involved with who are at a level where they you know they they are looking for people and or they are talking to the people in the company who are looking for people and and create those relationships there okay
32:13 next use your network okay excuse me um I I'm I mentioned this above 80 of the 80 of jobs are not advertised so how do you find them you find them by using your network okay now there's lots of ways to engage with your network you can go to meetings you can send emails you can involve yourself with them on social media but the best single way to engage with your network is to call
32:51 them up okay so my friend bill says you should you should call up the people in your network once a quarter you call them up if they don't pick up the phone don't bother leaving a message the first time you call Paul again maybe the next day if they if they pick up the phone great if they don't still don't leave a message and then if you call a third time and they don't pick up the phone leave a message hey it's Kevin was just calling to say hello and catch up um when you have a minute please give me a call back here's my number look forward to talking okay
33:26 that's what you want to do more will happen in a 10 minute phone call or a 15-minute phone call then all of the social media posting that you can do in terms of building that relationship now here's the interesting thing and and I I'll be the first one to admit I'm I'm impacted by this I feel like I don't want to call people I don't want to bother them they're busy they they don't have time to talk to me that's whenever I start doing my calls that's like what's going in the back of my mind it's not true and I know it's not true because I pick I'll
34:03 pick up the phone and I'll call somebody and they're like oh hey great guys so good to hear thanks for calling you know and they're they're flattered that someone would take the time to pick up the phone to say hello and see how they're doing right and I think this has gotten even more so post covid when so much that people feel so separated from other people a lot of people still aren't back in their offices they don't have a lot of you know direct contact with their co-workers and at least with a phone call it's voice to Voice or or for that matter resume meeting although
34:38 it's hard to sort of jump on a zoom meeting with someone you know if it's not pre-planned that's why I recommend using the telephone okay so that that's the best way to Network and and and the main reason for being in touch with people in your network is to find out how you can help them the call is not about how they can help you it's about how you can help them okay and if the person is worth being in your network the more you try and help them the more
35:15 they're going to try and help you that's what a relationship is right it's a mutual helping of each other okay so if you find yourself making calls to someone and and you're constantly helping them and you get nothing in return okay so then that may not be a relationship worth pursuing now you may say gosh that's that's pretty harsh well okay maybe it is but it's also practical okay we're looking for real relationships and real relationships are
35:52 based on mutual benefits okay did you ever have the experience when you were dating where you were the one who always had to initiate the date you were always the one who had to pay for the day you know you were always the one who had to drive the conversation and and in the back of your mind you kept you kept wondering why is this person going out with me I don't I don't understand it right and the real and the answer is I mean there's lots of answers but the reality is you're not in a relationship with that person it's like you're you're
36:27 sort of a babysitter or something I don't I don't know I mean there were times when I would be out on a date with with a woman I'd be like and she she just clearly didn't seem to be into it and you know and at one point I would say everything okay um oh oh yeah yeah yeah oh okay because you know but asking you questions and you haven't really been responding or or you know I get sort of you know one two Word answers or something like that so and and look we're not going to have a relationship with everybody we're just not and and it's no criticism of us that some other person doesn't
37:02 want to have a relationship with us especially a business relationship okay some people aren't good at it some people have they're just kind of filled up with with relationships at that point and they're just not open to connecting with other people okay and some people they're they just don't see it they just don't see it okay well all right fine so then move on there's there's so many people out there who want to be genuinely giving who want to create mutually beneficial relationships so look for those people look for those
37:38 people okay just today um I I had a meeting with someone someone I met a few weeks ago and we hit it off from the first and in in the meeting we had today he's actually going to be a a future guest on this show one of the things that struck me is um he he was as intent with helping me as I was with helping him I wanted people to see who he was because he's such such an interesting person he's had such great
38:13 uh success and I don't mean he's fabulously wealthy because I'm I'm maybe he is I don't think so but but that's not what's important to him as you'll as you'll see when you watch the show he he he he built success on his own terms and that's so laudable I I think that's so laudable and such a great example for all of us and I wanted people to be able to see that and when he was saying um after the meeting he's like well you know I said I'll send you a copy of the video he says no no he says just send me a link because that way I can send people to watch it on your Channel
38:49 right we're both trying to help each other out and that's that's a real relationship you know and or the beginnings at least of a real relationship that's what we want to build those are the kind of people we want to meet these are the kind of people they're going to make our life better not just our professional life better our entire life better and those are the people I seek out in Professional Organization professional relationships okay um in fact I was talking to somebody yesterday here's another example this is someone I've been working with for over
39:24 a year now and uh and and he was we were we were joking around a little bit he says you know he says he says I was talking to somebody I was explaining that we've been working together for over a year and and and and I and I said you want to guess how much I paid Kevin and and and the person said uh I don't know how much and he said zero you know and and the fact of the matter is we haven't made any money together at least not yet so but here's here's the thing so I said to him I said you know I I I am going to take issue with what you said and and while it's true I haven't
40:00 received any financial compensation in our working together I've been compensated by the the trust you've placed in Me by the respect that you've given me by the opportunity you've given me to influence what you're doing and have and have an impact on its direction by the friendship that you've given me by the times that I when you know I frankly I felt down and I knew I could call you up and and and and kind of Cheryl was going on with me for a few minutes and and have you help me get back on track
40:36 to me that's that's Platinum that's titanium right so there's lots of ways that relationships can be mutually beneficial and and I'm so I'm not just talking about a financial exchange okay again I I keep saying this over and over real relationships that's what we're looking to build okay I'm gonna run out of time here so finally get out from behind your desk especially post covid okay I mean I wrote my book free covet but this is
41:12 more true today I think than it's ever been before get out from behind your desk email and phone or great communication tools but they will never replace in person interaction meeting someone for coffee meeting someone for a drink meeting someone at a conference being at a particular company maybe the company gives tours and you have an opportunity to do you know to walk through their facility or something like that they're they're just Priceless I was
41:47 reading an article uh in the last couple of days uh almost for sure in the Wall Street Journal right that's the paper I read and it was talking about the difficulties that employers are having getting their people to come back to the office right office occupancy is is still at uh on average across the country 50 of what it was pre-coveted and in certain cities like I think San Francisco it's at a third of what it was before covid and and look I get it it's it's much
42:22 more convenient to work at home and I don't have to get dressed up I can work in my pajamas or whatever uh Whatever It Is Well you know I can have my dog with me you know or or whatever it is I don't have to commute all all you know valid points it's not the same as working being with your colleagues face to face and more and more employers are recognizing that so I have a friend who's a partner in one of the big accounting firms and and much earlier than a lot of other firms they started bringing their people back because what they saw was the informal
42:57 interactions between partners and Associates was not taking place and so the associates were not getting the mentorship the educational opportunities that they needed in order for their careers to flourish and for them to have partner potential and not necessarily even in that firm but just professional growth kind of writ large as they say it it just there's no substitute for face-to-face interaction so look for those opportunities okay I mentioned here professional associations so get if
43:33 you're interested in a particular field especially if you if you're new to it if your recent college graduate if you're a mid-career professional who's thinking of making a change in in what you're doing one of the best things you can do is find a professional association that that has a that has a group that meets near where you live so you can do face in in person face-to-face meetings and start to get to know people on that basis okay now second best is is zoom I mean or or you know those kind of thing
44:08 I guess Google meets um they're better than the email and phone because you can see people at least but it's they're still not as good as actual face to face okay so you know we call it a a second you know second option or a um a secondary option I guess is the best way to put it okay but get out there and and and and and get out there with other people you know some of the um best or well best at least most interesting profession
44:43 business professional connections I made weren't in any kind of business or professional context okay I once got a I I've told the story before but I once got an opportunity to work on a project up in San Francisco from a guy that I met walking to the gym in downtown Los Angeles who you know I would probably best be described as a homeless guy now part of that that's me I will pretty much talk to anybody and I'm walking to the gym and this guy comes up and he's like he's like Hi how are you I'm like fine how are you what do you do well I'm
45:20 an architecture student oh really well why don't Architects do projects like this it was I mean it was just and he started like rambling off all this stuff right and and one of them turned out to be an actual thing and I I called up the uh it was actually the pastor of a church um and and we ended up being able to help them me being a very good friend of mine in college by the name of math by the name of uh Malcolm Brown um and I we did some some work for him so and I've had other um Business and Professional opportunities coming in you know just
45:55 sort of I'm at a party and somebody mentioned something and and it kind of you know piques an idea in my head or we make a connection so so get out there get get social not social media get out there and be social talk with people I've talked to people in the grocery store I mean just the other day I I I I don't know why I kept finding myself blocking people and there was this one ridiculous guy I think I was blocking his way in the aisle three times over and then I finally turned and I said I don't know what to tell you just that it seems to be my my purpose in
46:30 life is to you know block other people's paths we started laughing and he said we're living the same life you know and we've chatted for a couple minutes and you know hey it's nice talking to you kind of thing but I've had situations like that actually turn into where the you know the person said hey you know what do you do you know that I'm saying um you never know where it's gonna come from so just be open to those opportunities be open to talking to other people you know don't don't shy from saying something nice to someone in the grocery store or you know if you're
47:05 waiting in line at the coffee shop or whatever um you know make an observation at home um you know hey gosh what up what a you know nice looking suit or um I mean I think guys we'd be a little bit careful about this you know guys to to ladies because some they don't you don't want to act like you're hitting on them or anything but you know whatever I hope you don't mind this is when I make a compliment to a woman I I preface it by saying I I hope you don't mind my saying this but I I happen to notice your your address and it's just it's just so beautiful it really stands out
47:40 because of the material it's so rich or the color pattern it's it's it's like uh you know a uh whatever whatever you know metaphor I'm going to use right um and generally I found that you know people respect they respond positively who doesn't want to hear something nice like that and and have a friendly gesture made to them okay just you know you don't want to be creepy like I like how you're dressed so you don't want to do that but just you know be be genuine be yourself just be friendly look you do that a hundred times who
48:15 knows what's going to come from it right as you're walking down the street say good morning to people or good afternoon or whatever right hi hey how you doing you know whatever you just never know but get out there get out from behind your desk get out of your house get out of your whatever and and and and interact with people and just you know be yourself be a you know a nice person a normal person if you will um and and take the opportunity to do that okay so uh you know and and I want to wrap up by saying and and I put this
48:51 here right here okay so the success of your job search and and I would argue the success of your life is really going to come down to how many people you meet and speak with each day okay and and I think it's it's a good idea to set a goal so while you may not be able to um you know do a lot of it in the beginning it makes you nervous you get you get anxious so even if you just set a goal of two people a day don't make it one okay don't make it one make it at least two people a day that you're gonna
49:27 reach out to and when I say reach out to even if it's just I'm you know I'm gonna say I'm gonna say something friendly to one person at the grocery store today and I'm gonna reach out to one person on LinkedIn today good and get in the habit of doing that once you get in the habit of doing two then make it three and then raise it to four okay and and then and you know make make it a goal to get to 10 people a day okay the more you can do this the more chances you'll find people that you want to have relationships with and and want to have relationships with you and the faster you will be able to
50:04 achieve your professional goals so that is what I have for today so I I hope you find that useful um and and you'll notice by the way that um this was all basically focused here in the relationships aspect of the three pillars of attainment even though it relates to um finances sorry finances up here I think I was pointing out over here anyway it relates to finances um so here here's here's the thing all of the Realms and and pillars overlap to a certain degree and and that's that's
50:41 kind of a theme not kind of that is a theme of of the show and and helping you recognize how the various parts of your life overlap interact interrelate to to be able to move your whole life forward okay so these same kind of relationships development skills will work in interpersonal relationships just like they do in professional ones so I encourage you to um to get out there now if you're an introvert like me I know you're like this guy's an introvert believe me I'm an introvert it takes a lot of energy for me to do these things that's what
51:17 introvert is not shy okay those are different things introverted versus extroverted deals more with whether being around other people and being and interacting with other people energizes us or makes us tired I can assure you it makes me tired now it's a good tired because I feel like I've done something beneficial by interacting with other people but it still makes me tired and after doing that I have to take some down time to recharge whereas extroverted people they can be interacting with people all day long and
51:52 it keeps getting them more charged up and more charged up okay so even if you're an introvert and especially if you're shy you can overcome your shyness you absolutely can I used to be introverted and shy okay and I had to work myself out of my shyness it frankly took a lot of years I was at when I was a boy I was painfully shy okay and then I'll I'll tell you probably the turning point was when I was a teenager I think I was a I
52:28 want to see a junior in high school the summer summer after I was a junior in high school I believe it was um and I was I was uh living with my mom here in LA and I went to go take tennis lessons and and I was sitting on on a bench waiting for the lesson to start and this absolutely knockout young woman came and kind of sat on the other side on the the other end of the bench and I'm looking at her and I'm looking I mean I'm glancing trying not to be too obvious and I was
53:03 just smitten absolutely smitten and yeah I'm like oh my gosh I can't talk to her oh my I cannot do this and finally I got up the courage to just say hello and what I what I did is I I sort of I I I was like playing with my rack and I ended up setting it down on the bench so it made a noise and she turned to look at me and I said oh I didn't mean to disturb you and she said oh no it's okay it's okay and I said and I and I said um how are you today and she said I'm doing fine I said are you
53:39 here to and I just started start a conversation I struck up um you know a a conversation with her about tennis and turned out she didn't live in Los Angeles she actually lived in Brooklyn New York and I I will you know nothing like summer love this was my first like Head Over Heels oh my gosh if you leave me I'm going to kill myself you know girlfriend um and it was but it was very powerful is it showed what could happen if I was willing to overcome my shyness okay now I'd like to tell you that you
54:16 know we ended up getting married but we did not okay um but still it was an object lesson um and uh you know Jocelyn if you happen to be seeing this yes it's you I'm talking about um she's she lives in uh I think it's Connecticut now um and uh you know all of that so um but but these moments will be very powerful in your life and they will help you grow a tremendous amount they certainly did for me and eventually I I overcame my shyness but but to have that
54:53 kind of really um Vivid demonstration of the power of moving beyond our limitations a little bit and what kind of opportunity that opens us for opens up for us you'll carry it your whole life okay whether you have a long life to go like my daughter or you know a a rather shorter life to go like you know me the old guy it doesn't matter these These are these are experiences we should seek out and these are challenges that we should seek to meet
55:29 and hopefully overcome so thank you very much for joining me today I hope you enjoyed the show if you have thoughts please share them in in uh you know social media or you can send me an email all of the um contact information will be in the show notes um after this uh episode posts on our YouTube channel and speaking of which please do consider uh subscribing to um our YouTube channel that way you'll always know when a new show posts this is our last show for this week we'll start next week at 10 A.M Pacific Time
56:05 Monday with trusts and Estates weekly where we talk about all things related to trusts and probate and Estates and whether it's it's an issue for you from a personal finance standpoint or whether as a professional you're interested in working in this field I encourage you to tune into that show on Tuesday is uh uh um my uh at 11 A.M uh 11 A.M Pacific time is my show business lessons from the military and my guest is is uh retired Navy Captain Mark Brooker uh
56:42 Mark and I have been friends for a number of years now he is an outstanding teacher on leadership and we're going to talk about how we can take leadership principles from the military and apply them to the civilian business world the civilian even the non-profit World Academia everywhere in the civilian World okay and then next week is uh the next edition of of people making money and my guest will be uh Laurie Israel and she's going to be talking on the subject of uh marriage and money okay marriage and
57:20 money um and and and that that can be a very challenging thing to deal with and Lori has been an expert in this field for a long long time okay she's she's a lovely woman so I don't want to you know start get I don't know how she feels about you know her age I have no idea what it is but uh but but she's she's very experienced in this and has and in particular has a lot of experience in working with couples and dealing with this issue okay she's a lawyer but but um not a lawyer and like suing people and that kind of stuff she's a lawyer that helps you know bring couples
57:56 together helps them resolve difficulties that they're having so I encourage you to tune in next week and to all of the shows and that just leads me to do two things one is to wish you a wonderful rest of the day and the rest of the week hope you enjoy yourselves maybe spend some time with family and signing off just want to say Marie as ever darling you are my bell so thank you all very much and look forward to seeing you next week