0:00 Who are [music] you? And where are you going? [music] What do you want? [music] Hello and welcome to People Making Money. I'm your host, Kevin Bemel, and I'm here every Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time to talk about job hunting, uh, starting and running a business, and building wealth. So, the whole financial side of life. And today, I'm I'm pleased
0:37 to have as my guest Derek Keller. So, for those of you who watch Trust and Estates Weekly, uh, Derek was a guest on that show I think a few months ago now. uh he talked about exit strategies for businesses within the the um probate and trust administration realm. And today we're going to go a little bit bigger and broader. Uh this day after uh Veterans Day, uh Derek and I uh know each other through a a business group for veterans and and and Derek is a you
1:13 military veteran. And uh so we're going to get to know a little bit more about him and and he's going to talk about how excellence is never an accident. Uh th this is a topic that in in military circles uh really looms large I think is the best way to put it. Uh so so Derek uh thanks thanks for coming on People Making Money.
1:39 >> Oh thanks [clears throat] thanks for having me Kevin. It's always a pleasure to to sit and chat with you. for sure.
1:45 >> Good deal. So, you know, be before we get into your topic and and and and since it is we're we're um we're doing the show here on November 12th, the day after Veterans Day, there were lots of celebrations yesterday. I know I I was in a a business meeting with some of my colleagues, none of whom had ever been in the military and you know was regailing them with uh you know stories of my exploits. Uh, and one of them said to me, she said, "You know, this is completely different than anything I've
2:21 ever heard about the military." Cuz I was telling her about the sort of kooky fun things that you know, like you know, there's this training thing called Buttercup where you're it's it's a training for what happens if a ship is sinking basically, you know, and you're in this tank and the water's filling up and you have to stop the water and you know, kind of crazy. She's like the military. She says she says, "My daughter talked about going to the military and we told her no, you can't do that, you know, because all they ever knew was what was on movies." So,
2:53 >> you know, give us talk to us just a at least a little bit about um you know, your your experiences um both, you know, I I guess starting in the military and then into your civilian career so people can get a sense of where your perspective on building excellence where that really, you know, from where that really comes.
3:18 >> Yeah, absolutely. Um, I think that it was more born from people telling me that I couldn't do something. Um, which I think that happens for a lot of us, right? Is uh people saying that you can't and then then so you you want to prove him wrong. Um, and gosh, so like I guess I I joined the Marine Corps um because I felt like they were the best. I felt like they were the best dressed. I felt like they had the most discipline. And I felt like they were the first to fight. They were everything that I thought that it should be if you
3:55 were going to be in the military, if that makes sense.
3:58 >> Yeah, for sure.
4:00 >> So, I [clears throat] I'm a Navy guy. You'll get no argument from me on on any of those. But I served I served a little over three years with the Marine Corps. So,
4:10 >> yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, it's it's all about this, you know, this different level of operating when when you're in the Marine Corps and and and and holding this different standard. And I think that, you know, going going in, I mean, I I'll share a funny story just so you guys veterans that that I guess the civilian life probably has no idea about, which is field day, right? Thursdays were field day in the in the Marine Corps where they would pull everything out onto the catwalk and you'd have to like bleach down your room, make sure everything whether it was simple green
4:45 or bleach, you were in there just cleaning the heck out of it. And I was lucky enough when I first got to the fleet, I I went with 38. And I was lucky enough to get stuck in a sergeant's room.
4:57 >> Kevin, you probably know how that went. Um, I was a boot in a sergeant's room, who normally sergeants have their own room. Excuse me. So, I was volunte, you know, I I had to uh clean our room. So, I was, you know, a young PFC carrying all the all the uh stuff out onto the catwalk. And then he strapped green scratchy pads to my hands and my knees and had me do figure eights around the room clean. So something you definitely won't see on
5:34 the movies, but uh but it was it was it was imperative to to my my building becoming a Marine, right? And and being
5:44 >> being who who I had to be to to ultimately help me where I am now. because I can tell you um I'm not afraid to get down on the floor and and and clean the floor with some green scratchy pads. [laughter] So, uh sometimes that's what it takes in business and in life, right? Is is getting down in the in the business that nobody really wants to get down into, right? And that that term excellence is never an accident is it comes from an event that that I do every year and it's it's really building on
6:19 excellence and and and making that decision to be somebody else and be that 1% be that that person who's who's changing the way that they operate, right? Because if
6:30 >> if you continue to operate the same way that you're operating, you're gonna get the same thing, right? And and People people don't tend to understand that they think that I can keep doing this same thing and magically something else is going to appear, right? [laughter] So [gasps] throughout life like we have to we have to change the way that we operate. We have to change the way that we show up. We have to we have to do things different, right?
6:58 >> And I mean it comes down to our to our simple simple everyday habits. Like I mean I hate to say it because everybody talks about it so much but the screen time on your phone. How much time are you spending on your phone scrolling and at social media and and doing all them things right? I was actually having a conversation with my son last night. He was saying, "Dad, you know, when when I graduate school, I wanna I want to go be a salesperson. I don't need any any more school. I I hate school. I I I'm going to go be a salesperson." I said, "That's great, but you want to go be a salesperson." That's where I started. I
7:34 I I was in sales. I I did that. But if you really want to be a salesperson and you really want to be successful, guess what? Education never stops. You got to keep learning. You got to keep doing. You got to you got to step outside of what everybody else is doing. And he goes, "Well, what do you mean, Dad?" I said, you know, all that time that you spend on YouTube watching, you know, all these all these gamers and and figuring out how to do things on your games, what if you took just 15 minutes of that time and looked up sales things and started training your mind to to operate in
8:09 sales, how much better, how much more ahead of the game would you be than the other people, right? Mhm.
8:15 >> And and [clears throat] he it was kind of like this aha moment for him of like, man, like if I if I just spent 15 minutes a day,
8:24 >> uh would add up, it'd compound, right? So that's something different. Just just tweaking something a little bit, right? You're going to get a little bit better results. And and the more that you tweak in things, the more results you're going to get, right? Right.
8:38 >> So, I mean, there's there's been Oh, I I'm I I fall victim to the television every once in a while. And uh it's funny because I I think back to like this mo this time in my life when uh gosh I I was it was 2015ish and and like I I every night I would come home and I'd turn on the television and I'd sit and watch TV and my my son, you know, he'd come and say, "Hey, Dad, you come tuck me in for bed." And I'd
9:14 have this thought of or I'd say it out loud of, "Hey, let me finish my show and I'll be right in."
9:23 >> And I'd go in there and what would happen? He'd already be asleep, right? That's typically what happens because my program or show took a little bit longer than Well, it it it took what it took. It didn't what whatever was left was what was left and he
9:37 >> took longer than he could stay awake,
9:39 >> right? [laughter] So, I go in there and and the first thing that the first thing that comes to mind is is this story that I'm going to tell him in the morning about how he fell asleep too fast.
9:50 >> Instead of owning the fact that I I said the TV is more important than him. [clears throat]
9:58 >> So, like that hit me like a ton of bricks that night and and I had to change the way that I operated. So, I mean, it's it's a it's a completely I I I just had to I had to eliminate the television, right? Because I was I was more invested in their story and their their plotline than than what I was in my own life, which happens to a lot of us inside of social media, right? I I've been known to get caught in a doom scroll on the on the reels and and watching all these funny videos, but I mean ultimately we have to
10:33 [clears throat] know when to set it down and we have to know when to operate if that makes sense.
10:38 >> Yeah. So, you know, a couple things come to mind. One is, you know, when you gave your son that advice about just spending 15 minutes, you know, studying or not studying but watching, you know, videos on on how to how to be a good salesman. So there's a a wonderful book uh wrote written by a a fellow by the name of Jeff Kulvin called Talent is Overrated
11:02 >> and in the book he he examines the lives of people who are the sort of quintessential example of who's talented. I he he deals with Mozart who you know was supposedly this you know great prodigy m composing music when he was you know a teenager like 11 12 years old whatever and he also looks at among others Tiger Woods and it's so interesting because what he shows in the book is that both of these men the reason they had such genius
11:39 ability was because from an early age their fathers coached them in the area where they gained their great great expertise. So Mozart's father was a an extraordinarily gifted music teacher and he taught his sons starting when he was either three or five years old. And Tiger Wood's father evidently was an incredibly gifted golf teacher who again started out his son when he was I think five years old or and by the time they were at the age
12:15 when most people take up music or sports, they had spent so much time in that field, nobody was ever going to catch them,
12:25 >> right? And so they they look like this sort of, you know, born talent, but indeed what it was is they were willing to well they they had parents who were willing to coach them and teach them and and they as individuals were willing to at least, you know, spend part of their time pursuing what it was that, you know, became their life's passion. So to to say that to your son, it's like you're really setting him on a path for greatness by getting him involved in something much earlier than most of us
13:01 would ever think about, you know, getting involved in such a thing.
13:05 >> Right. And I think that, you know, them the what you're talking about with the with the Tiger Woods and Mozart, they they were put into this container and and they operated uh with reps, right? consistency and reps
13:20 >> and that that is the the the foundation of excellence, right? Is is you have to you have to be consistent and you have to get the reps. It reminds me of, you know, in in the Marine Corps they say that everyone come everyone's a rifleman, right? Everyone comes out of boot camp and we're we're ready to fight. We're ready to be a rifleman,
13:41 >> right?
13:42 >> And uh I mean back back in back in my day [laughter] They have scopes now. They have the ACOG ACOG sights on there, but we we iron sights at 500 yards, right? We're we're qualifying.
13:58 >> But the the the things that people don't know about that is that we sat in a squad bay for two weeks dryfiring that rifle into the wall, right? Going in the different positions, sitting, steel, sitting, kneeling, standing, prone, right? and and we're we're just going up and down and and just click rack click rack and and you're doing it for for two weeks before you ever even take a shot on the on the rifle range, right? So, you get these guys
14:30 >> um and you're learning the ins and outs of the rifle, learning how to, you know, take it apart, dis disassembly and assembly. you you learn how to how to tap rack bang, you know, you got the the the different different modes of of trying to to clear the rifle. And I mean, you're you're going through all of this stuff. So, when you hit the rifle range, there's guys that had never held a gun in their lives that were on paper, right? They're paper right away because because they're following the methodology of squeeze the trigger, right? And and that's the that's the mentality that that I've been able to
15:06 carry with me is that it's when when you get stuck in that container and and it's and it's rep after rep after rep and you get to see you know the Mr. Miyagi wax on wax off that hey this [laughter] this stuff does apply right like I go out there and I get to
15:24 >> I I get to hit paper and I get to operate. I mean, I came from smalltown Rock Springs, Wyoming, where we shot guns all the time. So, it wasn't it it was what I what I had a bigger problem doing was breaking my habits from from being younger, right? And and trying to
15:41 >> to operate in that way. So, it was that that's definitely the the biggest thing that that people need to understand that that consistency and reps will outdo talent any day of the week.
15:55 >> Yeah. I mean again it's it's it's it's such a great point because there seems to have been over I don't know exactly how long last 10 years 20 years the idea of drilling as an effective teaching technique has has just been put down you know children should follow their own you know senses or this or that. It's like I have to tell you I've never seen that work in my life. So, um, a few months ago, I decided as a as a chaplain, I was not allowed to carry any weapons. All
16:30 right. I was like, we we couldn't we couldn't, uh, you know, qualify on the 9 mill or we could we couldn't wear a sword at a, you know, dress ceremony, none of that stuff. And, u many years ago, a friend of mine gave me a sword. Um, and it's, you know, it's kind of been sitting in the corner for all that time. And I I looked at it one day, I said, "You know what? I'm gonna learn the manual at- arms sword because, you know, this friend of mine was kind enough to give me this, you know, this this beautiful sword, right? So, I got
17:06 myself navy sword belt, you know, and I figured out how to put it on. And you know four or five times a week I just spend it's probably you know 5 to 10 minutes going through you know draw sword you know present sword all you know the different movements just drilling them
17:25 >> and what I found is you know just doing that I've gained a a pretty good degree of ability with it but also there's something almost zenlike when I take that time to do that drill. It's like everything else, all the other problems in the world go away.
17:46 >> Yeah.
17:46 >> And and so there's there's benefits beyond just, you know, learning the skill. There's also the the the the focus that we bring when we use a drilling technique to acquire some kind of ability that I I think is very much underappreciated in in in the world today. especially when we're talking about achieving excellence. So, I'm just I'm curious what you think about that aspect of it.
18:16 >> Well, I 100% believe in it. I I mean, in the Marine Corps, we call it muscle memory, right? Um you don't you don't rise to your expectations, you fall to the level of your training, right? So when when you have them reps and that that that drill of doing the same thing over and over and over again, when your mind shuts off and and you're in the heat of things, in the heat of battle or in in these in these moments of life where where you just have to react, your body will remember and and your body will fall into line and just do things
18:52 without thinking. Right? um seven habits of highly effective people, right? He talks about like all these different things that we do. Like driving becomes like this this secondary thing that we're doing. But whenever we back up, whenever you hit reverse, what do you do? You check the mirrors a little extra. You turn down the radio. You're you're because you're operating outside of that realm, right? [snorts]
19:18 >> Um we want we want these automatic things to happen. And the more that we can build them reps and and build the that like you said, drilling them things in, um, the the better off we're going to be when when things do hit the fan, when when we're ready to to to operate. And that doesn't just apply to, you know, uh, shooting a rifle or going to war. That applies to business and everyday business and everyday life. Like, think about it. Uh, there's this uh, book called Crucial Conversations. great book. It's it's about um how how
19:54 to communicate properly, right? And listen to understand and all these different things. And as I'm [clears throat] reading it and it's because I'm I I am a Marine. I it does take me a little bit to get things so a little hard. [laughter] I have to I have to read it. I have to listen to it and I have to like take notes in the margin and highlight. So my books look trash when I'm done. The the thing is is like you have to you have to drill them things and you have to practice them things. So you're practicing the level of communication,
20:29 practicing the the listening to understand, practicing holding your tongue, right? Taking like I when whenever my wife is talking to me now, I hold I I put my hand on my mouth just to remind me to shut up. Like it's not about me in that moment. Right.
20:46 >> Right. like doing them things and starting to drill and practice and operate inside of them things when the pressure is on and you and your wife are in a fight like who do you want to be in that fight? Do you want to be the the one that flies off the handle and loses control or do you want to be the one that the calm in the storm, right?
21:05 >> And I'm by no means perfect at this. My my my wife will tell you that I am I am no per I am not perfect at this, but I have gotten a lot better. and she's more shocked now when I do elevate than when I don't. Um she she tells me all the time like you're you can't do that. You can't you can't elevate because you're the you're the steady. You're the calm. You're the one that that brings us back and puts us back in in in the right line, you know? And it's it's all them things. So like how do you show up in
21:40 inside of your relationship? How are you showing up in in in in your body, right? Like simple simple things inside of your body, working out, making sure that you get the reps inside of your body so when when you do have to act when you do have to, you know, run and and catch your kid off the slide or or you know, go out and play with your kids, like, do you have the reps? Do you have is your body equipped for it? Or are you doing your family a disservice by by not having having them reps? And uh I mean that crucial conversations book has set me up for a ton of success in negotiations and
22:17 in conversations in in my relationship first and foremost. Like it it's it's changed the way that we operate as a couple. It's changed the way that that I operate as as as the man of the of the house of the family.
22:31 >> Yeah. Let's take a quick break and we'll we'll continue this discussion. When life brings unexpected changes, managing inherited property shouldn't add to your stress. Magnum Properties specializes in probate and trust real estate management. We handle the complexities while you focus on what matters most. From property maintenance to tenant relations, from legal compliance to maximizing value, we're your trusted partner through every step. Magnum Properties, Inc., turning
23:07 property challenges into peace of mind. Call us today at 213-264-4396 or visit magnumprops.com. So, welcome back to People Making Money. I'm I'm Kevin Bemel, your host, and my guest today is Derek Keller. Uh Derek is a veteran of the Marine Corps, and he he also um in civilian life um successful in um essentially is an investment banker, I guess, is probably the best
23:42 way to to describe what you do. business um working with businesses on exit strategies, acquisitions, dispositions, that that sort of thing. And we're talking about how AC excellence is is never an accident. We we've talked about several aspects of that. So Derek, I I me I mentioned yesterday on on uh Veterans Day, I was you talking with some colleagues and I was telling them about one particular story from when I was with the Marine Corps. I suspect this will resonate with you uh because um I got the opportunity to do gas mass
24:20 training and it wasn't something that chaplain necessarily did but I don't know one of the Marines I knew said hey you know chaps you want to come do gas mass training and I was pretty much up for trying anything what the heck did I know [laughter] right so they you know a group of us they take us they give us the gas mask they said whatever right and then they take us into this chamber where they drop the gas, right? And [laughter] and and then they tell you, "Well, take your mask off." And I'm thinking to myself, "Wait a minute." [laughter] I thought the gas mask was supposed to protect us, right? So, you take the mask
24:55 off, you know, you I mean, you're holding your breath, you're closing your eyes, you put it back on, but there's there's no way to keep, you know, the gas out of your eyes completely, right? And so then they finally let us out of the, you know, the this room that we're in and the whole lot of us are lying on the grass. You know, we've taken off our mat and our our eyes are just as red as you can imagine. We're we're all crying, not because we're crying, but because, you know, the the pain in our eyes, right? And and there all these, you know, I mean, I was the old guy there, but all these young guy, right? We're just and we're all just laying there, you know,
25:30 crying together basically, right? And I mean it was it was hilarious. Of course it was a bonding experience for you know for us to have gone through that together. But one of the things that struck me about it is essentially what the Marine Corps asked us to do was voluntarily suffer some pain so that we would you know obviously not my case I was a chaplain but so that they would be better Marines. they would be better prepared, you know, to deal with this kind of situation. And again, I I I think that often times
26:05 people's lives become the, you know, absolute avoidance of any pain and the seeking of um you know, whatever is pleasing or pleasurable. And I I I again I'm I'd be I want I'd love to hear your take on this, but that seems to me to be not a path for growth and achieving excellence.
26:31 >> No, definitely not. Um I I I giggle to myself a little bit when you talk about the gas masks because uh we were we were the bright ones that decided to take, you know, go go to the gas chamber with one mask. So, six of us, one mask, and and we had we were doing what we called buddy breathing, right? You had to you you had to pass the gas mask and you definitely didn't want to leave your buddies hanging, right? Because they're sitting there holding their breath.
27:00 >> So, you're going around and passing the gas mask. That was that was miserable.
27:05 >> Um but but yeah, absolutely. like doing hard things is what helps set us up for for the other hard things that happen inside of our lives, right? Uh there's going to be hard things. Things are going to happen. People are going to pass away. Um the business deal isn't going to go through. The the the hard conversation that you have to have with with your wife, like all these things tend to tend to happen. They're always things are always going to come up. Um especially having kids, right? There's always the hard conversations with the kids. But what I found is that when I put myself
27:43 in under pressure and challenge myself inside of things, I I I'm constantly out trying to do some sort of a physical challenge to kind of break myself down and show myself that I could do things. Um, and and I think that achieving them things uh helps set me up for success in in many other things because I I've constantly got that challenge and growth mindset. So, how can I how can I change how can I change the way that I operate? Well, I start small, right? I start with myself, with my body, and and do a hard
28:18 physical challenge, whether it's, you know, doing the the Grand Canyon rim to rim to rim and 48 miles in less than 24 hours and
28:28 >> or flying over to Scotland and doing the 60 miles over there or, you know, I'm constantly trying to put my body under pressure and and maybe your Grand Canyon is uh running to the stop sign. I don't know. But getting out and doing something out of your comfort zone, jumping in in cold plunges, you know, doing doing these different things to to to to challenge your mind. Everything that your mind says that you can't do, go challenge it. Um there's this book that I that I read a long time ago that uh when I first started my
29:03 entrepreneurial journey. It was um called the big leap and it's got this little goldfish in a little fishbowl and it's jumping into the big fishbowl. And in there he talks about this about the flea circus and limiting beliefs is what the whole book's about is like what limiting beliefs have been put on us and what limiting beliefs do we have? And um he talks about the flea circus and and the way that they train the flea circus is they put them in a tub and they put the lid on the tub and the the fleas hit the roof of the of the tub multiple times
29:39 until they don't and then they stop and they never jump any higher than that lid again.
29:44 >> Right?
29:44 >> So they can take the lid off and put these fleas in the flea circus and and allow them to jump around without a roof. And uh the the funny thing is is that their kids will never jump any higher than that roof. Like for generational they'll all even though they have the capability to jump so much higher,
30:04 >> they they're limited by that lid.
30:07 >> And so now every time that I'm that I'm telling myself that I can't do something, I revert back to that story and I'm like, I'm not a flea. Like I'm not gonna I'm not going to allow myself to put a lid on me. I'm not going to allow other people to put a lid on me. And and often times in our lives through, you know, our family's limiting beliefs, our own limiting beliefs, they're constantly building this box around us, telling us what we can and can't do. And maybe we've done it to ourselves to the extent of, you know, our eating habits and the way that we're showing up and and maybe maybe that stop
30:43 sign, running to the stop sign is is that that big adventure, something that's going to be big and and and break us out of our shell. But it's it's getting started, breaking through that thing, jumping in that cold plunge, doing doing that thing that's out of norm. Uh I'll I'll give you one more. I was up uh I do this hike on South Mountain in Arizona all the it's I try to do it every Saturday and one Saturday I'm I'm cuz I come up one side of the mountain go over and come down the other side and then I come back up
31:17 >> and of course back down to my truck. But the I'm I'm coming down this this big steep part of this uh mountain and I see this guy sitting there. He's He I didn't He's not a guy that you normally see on the mountain. He was probably about 350 lbs.
31:36 >> Wow.
31:36 >> And uh he was he was sitting on the sitting on the the ledge and and I was like, "Hey, man. How's it going? Great day." You know, I'm I'm just in that type of mood when I'm out there out there hiking. And uh
31:49 >> he's like, "Oh, man. I'm just I'm exhausted. I I I've got to go back down." And I was like, "No, man. like you can't go back down. Like you're literally if you just turn around, you're 100 ft from the top. And he's like, I just I just can't do it. I'm I'm going to put myself in danger. I'm going to put other people in danger. I just can't do it. I just got to go back down. I said, I tell you what, you sit here, you rest up. I'm going to run down to the bottom. And when I come back up, it'll be about 30, 45 minutes. when I'm coming back up, I'll walk with you back up to the top
32:25 and I'll walk you back down.
32:29 >> He goes, "Oh, okay. Okay, I'll do that." So, I get down to the bottom and I'm coming back up and about halfway back up, he's coming down. And I was like, "All right, man. You you went up by yourself. You did it." And he says, "You know what? I got to be honest with you. No, I didn't." And I was like, "Okay, well, what made you decide to come down?" He goes, "I don't know. I just felt like I needed to come down." And I said, 'Well, I got to tell you. You know, I I wanted to tell him all the reasons why he should have went to the top, but I knew in this moment, this guy was already
33:04 feeling defeated, so I needed to give him something else. And I said, "You know what? Think about this. How many other people your size are out here on this mountain?" None. None. you're the only one. So, you're already breaking out of your shell, right? You're already doing something different. You're already in that 1%. You're already you're already building. And I said, here's here's the other thing. You could have 100% lied to me and I'd have never known the difference. And you told the truth. That puts you in another 1%. You told the truth and you're out here doing it. So, I expect to see you out here next weekend.
33:38 >> And it's been about a year and a half since that happened. and he's probably around 220 lbs now. He's out there every every every Saturday. I see him hiking that mountain. And um it's it's incredible to see people that that will step outside of their comfort zone and and build them reps and do them things because if you can do that, if you can just step outside of your comfort zone and do one thing,
34:06 >> it can change everything for you. you know what you were what what you're saying I mean it it again it so resonates I know when I when I first started in business I I've I had a real estate company I I I I may have told this story before on this show but um you know when you're dealing real estate the b the bottom line is you're looking I was looking to work with people who had money preferably a lot of money because that meant they had a lot of real estate right And it was a weird situation because I would
34:42 go and make a presentation to a potential client and in the back of my mind I'm thinking to myself, you know, why am I talking to this, you know, snotty wealthy person, right? And the fact of the matter is none of these people were snotty. Fortunately, they were wealthy. And and and I I was like and one day I started thinking to myself, where does this come from? like why do I have such a bad attitude toward the very people that will mean the difference between success or failure of my business? Right?
35:17 >> And it occurred to me that throughout my life, both my parents kind of had this negative attitude toward people who are wealthy. And they would say things like, well, you know, wealthy people, they all cheated to get there,
35:32 >> right? And it had just permeated me, you know, as a child, not through anything other than just that was the atmosphere in which I grew up. And I and and when I when I came to that realization, I said to myself, well, okay, is that idea true? And by then I had a few clients and I was I was from time to time invited to different events where there were a lot of wealthy people there. A lot of these were charitable events. People are making like huge donations to charity. And when
36:09 I say huge five and six figure contributions to charity, I'm like, well, that certainly doesn't sound like a horrible person to me, you know, and and I realized the belief was a false belief, but that I was operating under it was holding me back. And so then then the next step of course was okay how do I sort of get rid of that belief break through as you was like the cover on the tub right
36:39 >> and honestly it wasn't it wasn't so easy um but but you know it's like every day I had to remind myself yes there there are people who are bad people who are wealthy but there are people who are bad people who are not wealthy. It's the wealth has nothing to do with it. It's it's the individual, right? And so I think and it's a it's a hard thing to confront because I loved both my I love my mom. My my father is deceased. I loved my father. [snorts] Uh but you know, our parents aren't perfect. They make mistakes, right? And part of our
37:15 job as as children, both children children and adult children, is to correct the mistakes that our parents made when they raised us and not live within those limitations that have been created. And by the way, I don't think my parents intended to, you know, hold me back or anything. It was just, you know, that was just kind of how they looked at life or whatever. And so it's it's and it but it's it's a hard thing to do and and it's again it's not without pain. It's in this case emotional pain, right? That uh you know
37:51 we have to in some [clears throat] cases kind of reject a part of our upbringing if if we're going to take ourselves to the next level.
38:02 >> Absolutely. Yeah. I I 100% agree with that. There's there's so many different limiting beliefs and and and different stories that we don't even realize are are in our subconscious from from people saying things in passing from teachers, from from parents, from grandparents, right? Like it's it's it's wild how many different things will will definitely limit us from from moving to to another area all because we we we were telling oursel this story. So, I'm I'm I'm maybe I'm going to put
38:37 you on the spot a little bit, but what what can you recommend for someone because I think the the the hardest thing is to be bumping up against one of those beliefs and not realizing it and and and what do you recommend for I don't know taking kind of an inventory of ourselves to perhaps discover some of these limiting beliefs? before they have an opportunity to sort of sabotage us, if that makes sense.
39:12 >> Yeah. I mean, usually you're not going to notice them until they do. But, um, ultimately, I mean, the the the biggest thing is is taking that inventory, taking the time to take that inventory. I mean, every year I sit down uh before the end of the year and I go through these series of questions and I I put myself in that scenario of like where am I what are my limiting beliefs? What's holding me back? What are the big things that that I want to do that that I'm that I that I'm just not getting done?
39:43 >> Um and really really hone in that foundation of of how I'm operating. And then I make a plan of attack to go attack the next year in a different way, right? Um, so I think that I think that that's probably the the best thing that you could do is if if you're not doing it monthly or quarterly, at least do it yearly is is come in every year and and just take some time to yourself and and really take a a hard look and a hard inventory on how you're operating and and ultimately what are the what are the stories that are holding you back. Um
40:18 there's uh uh Bedros Coulion talks about uh I think he calls it the MSOgi or something like that. It's an ancient thing where they would go out and you know they'd spend 24 hours out out in the wilderness or whatever. And I like to I like to do something like that. I like to go out and challenge myself and put myself under pressure and and really break down my ego because my ego really really gets in the way on some things and and when you're tired, when you're exhausted, that ego kind of isn't there. Um, so you
40:53 go out and and you kind of break yourself down physically so that when you sit down, you can just be 100% open and and and transparent and run through some things. And I actually run an event in December every year that that people could come to where I run you through a process and and we find foundation. We set new targets for the new year and we go and attack and and hold you accountable for the whole year.
41:20 >> So here's here's again maybe maybe kind of a a a difficult question. So and it it kind of goes back to the the fellow you were talking about who was you walking on the mountain with you. How do we determine the point at which we've pushed hard enough and to push harder actually is more likely to set us back. And I'm I'm thinking perhaps in it's more obvious in a physical realm where
41:54 >> I look I the fact of the matter is I am just not as fast, agile, resilient today at 65 as I was at, you know, 35. That that that, you know, I I don't like it that it's that way, but you know, that's the cold hard truth to, you know, to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite country songs. Right. Right. Um, I'm not as good as I once was, right?
42:21 >> I'm as good once.
42:22 >> I'm as good once as I ever was, right? [laughter]
42:25 >> Um, so, you know, and and because I I I honestly I struggle with this. There are sometimes I feel like keep pushing, keep pushing. Um, like I'm I ride my bike every Sunday down to the beach. there's this particular bike path and I'm I'm trying to get um to the point where I can do this ride in a in a certain, you know, time period and I've been pushing and pushing and pushing and I don't seem to be able to get, you know, beyond and and and there are times when I feel like if I go any harder, I'm going to injure
43:02 myself and and then then I've got a setback and all of that. So you how do we how do we calibrate that?
43:11 >> Yeah. So I mean one one I'm not a doctor so we're going to put that disclaimer out there. I'm not giving medical advice.
43:18 >> Um but two [laughter] there's um I mean when you look at this like a lot of times like with with your situation in particular um you're probably plateauing right? You're probably overtraining in in that area. So, you need to switch up your training and do something else, right? Like whether it's running, biking, or uh maybe rower or something like that.
43:43 >> Um but getting getting into something else to allow your body to kind of reset and recover and then and then you'll boost again. Um and then the the the a lot of times our mind is telling us that we're done when we're not done,
44:02 >> right? Um, we learned that a lot in the Marine Corps. Just I mean boot camp for for instance when they run us through the crucible, right? Their sleep deprivation, food deprivation, and they're running you ragged and then you get to the top of this mountain. Um, I'm not going to say the name of the mountain because it's it's inappropriate, but you go to the top of this straight up and down mountain and you get when you get to the top, as soon as you get to the top, then you go through a shooting range, a shoot and move range. And then you go through pugle sticks and you're fighting, right? You're fighting other guys and you're like they're they're when you think that
44:38 you're completely exhausted and think that you have nothing left. Nine times out of 10, you're only 40% there. You have you have so much more left in the tank, your mind is tricking you and trying to shut down on you. And and if you can just every time that you break past that that small barrier,
44:58 >> um even if you just break past it a little bit, you you tell your mind that it's not in control, right? Like we we've got
45:05 >> um people often fall victim to their mind, right? And the stories that they're telling themselves, they're like, "Well, I can't control my mind." Yes, you can. It's yours, right? It's it's yours. You just have to challenge it back. And and the the problem is is that your mind knows you better than you do, right? And and but but the the caveat to that, you know, your mind better than it does, right? So now you know how to break through. You know how to um you you know you know how to trick it to to do something else, right?
45:41 >> So Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah.
45:43 >> Yeah. I was just going to say just continue to challenge yourself in all these different areas like uh and Kevin it might be also some recovery right you you might be just overtrained and need need some recovery and you'll come back even stronger but there's there's so many times that that we can just break through things by doing something else hard um that cold plunge that nobody wants to do jump in that ice bath and it's miserable. Like becomes that that thing that uh tricks your mind and says,
46:19 "You know what? It's telling me it's cold, telling me not to get in there. It's dangerous. Don't do it. It hurts. It d" And I did it and I came out and I was okay. Now all of a sudden, I'm training my mind in a different way.
46:31 >> Yeah. Yeah. I I mean I I do something like that. So on Saturdays, uh which is the Jewish Sabbath. So, um, um, not permitted to use, uh, to turn on the hot water taps, right? So, if I go and do like I'll typically I'll go for a, you know, a long, you know, hard walk. Unfortunately, my I can't run anymore. My knees are just too shot, right? But I'll go on a, you know, 10 kilometer walk. Um, and I'm coming back, I'm sweaty, whatever. And so, you know, I need to rinse off. And so I'm taking
47:06 that, you know, ice cold shower and it's it's the same every time. I'm standing there like, "Okay, I'm going to turn on the water. I'm gonna jump underneath it, you know, rinse myself off and get out of as fast as I can." And you know, it's like the initial hit of that cold water. It's so freezing. But you know what? within about 10 or 15 seconds. It's not nearly as cold,
47:33 >> right,
47:33 >> as as it is up in my head, right? It's so it's it's so funny. And and I think maybe because I only do it once a week, but it's it's just it's so funny how the mind works like like I can I'm like staring down my shower head, [laughter] you know, like here here I come again, right? I'm gonna fool you this time, right? But and but it's it's just it's just never it never stays as cold as again as as I think it is in in my mind. Right. So these are um I don't know how many more times it's going to take me to do this before I can just you know walk under that water and not care,
48:08 [laughter] you know, one way or the other. But uh
48:11 >> part part of that is is that you're turning the shower on and letting it run and you're looking at the water. Jump in and just turn it on. Just be under it.
48:20 >> Okay. So you think I should turn it on and just and then just like because normally when I turn on the shower like I turn on the hot water whatever and by the time I walk in it's like yeah it's perfect perfect you know comfortable thing right.
48:31 >> Yeah. So break that pattern stand in the shower before you ever turn it on and just flip it on and then it just hits you right away and you don't have time to really think about it.
48:40 >> There you go. Okay. [laughter] Okay. I'm gonna I'll give that a try on Saturday. Um, oh, well, so we're we're we're we're kind of coming up on our our uh time here, but um wanted to just give you like, you know, a couple of minutes if if if you would to to to sort of sum up for us how how do we, you know, how do we sort of take in hand our pursuit of excellence? How do for for people who haven't maybe ever done this before or haven't really thought about it in a um in a um uh an an
49:18 intentional way before? H how how should how can someone start making this a part of their their business life, their professional life, their personal life, their you know their their their physical emotional life.
49:34 >> Yeah. I mean, uh, do it by just doing one thing, right? It all starts with one thing. Um, pick one one thing that you want to change and just do something out of your comfort zone in in that area. Whether it's that hard conversation, whether it's the, you know, jumping in the cold shower, whether it's um climbing that mountain, running to the stop sign, uh making that phone call to to to get that sale, like the get getting outside of your comfort zone is
50:09 is 100% the only way that you're going to continue to grow, continue to grow and achieve. Very good. Well, Derek, I I I really appreciate you coming on the show today. It was a great conversation. Uh it's it's a topic that I I always come back to it. I think it's just a very central topic to to living the kind of life that I think most people want to live.
50:38 >> Yes. Yeah. It's it's like Joo says, he says discipline equals freedom, right? And and like when you think about that, like so many people get so caught up in the in oh you live this regimented life and da da da da da and you can't go do anything and you can't like I don't drink, right?
50:58 >> And that people are like well you know it's it you you can't drink because you're you know you're doing this or doing that. And I'm like well no I don't want to drink. I choose not to drink. I I I it's going to set me back in in training. it's going to set me back in doing these other things and and it's a bottle of bad decisions anyway. But [laughter] it's like, you know, the discipline does equal freedom. When when you're disciplined in things, you can do so much more. It's it's crazy. I this is I think one of the great
51:35 mistakes of our society is this attitude that somehow living a disciplined life is living a restricted life. It it is really exactly the opposite. Like as as you were just saying, when we when we have more control over what otherwise would just be kind of our natural inclinations, then we truly do have the freedom to be the person that we really want to be, not the person we're driven to be by all of these external influences under which we've grown up and and and
52:11 all of the, you know, vicissitudes that hit us on any given day. they're going to push and pull us to to do, you know, to react and and if we have discipline, self-discipline, we can choose how to respond. And and I I to me that is one of the to me that is a core distinction um between a boy and a man, for example, a boy will react, a man will develop the self-discipline to respond.
52:40 >> Absolutely.
52:41 >> Very good.
52:42 >> Love it.
52:43 >> Well, Jar Yeah. Thanks so much for coming on the show today. If you'll if you'll hang tight for just a minute, I'm gonna do a quick wrap-up and then we can talk offline for a minute.
52:51 >> Okay.
52:51 >> So, thank you so much for for joining us today. This this I don't say this very often, but I think I've said this in in Derek's other show as well. I take the time to watch this show again and and listen again to what Derek recommends. It is so cogent. It's so powerful. And while Derek attributes it to having been a Marine and needing, you know, the repetition, all of that, the fact of the matter is we we all need that repetition
53:26 and and because that's really what will embedded in us and and really make make the change a part of us. So, so you know, take a look at this again. Recommend it to a family member or a friend who maybe is struggling with something in their life that they they really want to change. Maybe they're struggling with losing weight or they're they've hit this problem in their business or professional life and they need to break through it. And I think Derek's advice is it's it's it's deceptively simple.
54:02 What needs to be done is simple. Of course, the doing it is is is the hard part and and that's that's where you know choosing one thing and working on it, seeing how the process works that time, then you can build on that. So, um if you have any thoughts, comments, criticisms, all the links to social media will be in the show notes. We'd love to hear what you have to say. Uh, I'll put Derek's contact information uh in the show notes as well if you want to get in touch with Derek uh to learn
54:37 about the uh the program he does. You say you do it in December, did you say?
54:41 >> Yep. December 11th through the 14th.
54:43 >> Okay. So, so if you want to get in touch with Derek about that that the uh program that he runs, sure he'd love to talk to you about it. I'm putting him on the spot yet again countless times this show. Uh, and uh, let's see, this is our this is my last show for this week. Next week we'll be back with the full slate of shows. Um, all at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time, trust and estates weekly on Monday, business lessons from the military on Tuesday. Uh, the next edition of People Making Money on Wednesday, and then next week on Thursday at 5:00 PM Pacific time is my
55:19 every other week show, Jiggers's Place, where we'll sit back and have a cocktail. Uh maybe I should make it a a non-alcoholic cocktail in your honor, Derek. But we'll sit back and have a cocktail and a smoo talk about all of the non uh financial aspects of life. So Derek, once again, thank you so much for being on the show today. Uh always a pleasure to talk with you. And that just leaves me to sign off. Marie darling, you are