0:01 hello and welcome to people making money I'm your host Kevin bemel and we're here every Wednesday at 10 A.M Pacific time to talk about a whole broad range of matters relating to Business and Professional success as well as wealth building so today I I called this episode build routines for success and I I think this is true not only for for our business and professional lives but for our lives in general so for us to
0:38 consciously always be thinking about okay what do I need to do in order to live the life I want to live that that's that's a very exhausting way to go through life and so we need to think about what are the behaviors what are the tasks that I need to do one to do on a on a whatever it is a daily basis an hourly basis in order to live my definition of success and so creating routines which in in it's a
1:16 synonym really for habits is is the way to do this so I'll give you an example each morning I I have this same document that you see back here um posted on the mirror in in my bathroom and and I read one of the three parts each day and I so I go through it twice a week Bas basically and in the beginning it was I had to be very intentional about remembering to read it even though it's right there on the
1:51 mirror because I'm I'm I'm brushing my teeth or whatever I'm doing and and I'm not focused on making sure that I read it and and what it is is it's it's my statement of identity and and and affirmations so that I can each morning focus on who do I want to be what do I want to accomplish what is what is my what are what underg guards my philosophy of success okay those are the the three parts you see there um and excuse me
2:26 so I you know I made it a point to do it and now I've been doing it for so long that it's it's just a habit to do it okay so we need to figure out how do we create habits that will support our success and the best book I know of on that subject is a book called The Power of Habit by Charles duwig so the book was written in uh 2012 so it's it's it's been around around for over 10 years now
3:01 and you can see I've got it you know marked here and I've got different uh you know different aspects uh sort of bookmarked and such so you can see how how I I I like the book and um uh it it it's it's the best resource I know of for figuring out how to create these routines so I'm want I'm just going to take a few minutes to go through some of the main points of of the book so you can just get a little bit of a feeling for it um but this is
3:36 not a substitute at all for reading the book I I I can't encourage you enough to get a copy read it review it um and and you know make it a you know a well-loved uh a well-loved piece of of of advice um for for your life um I will by the way put a link to the book in the show notes as I always do when I talk about a book and as always it will be a uh an affiliate link so you know if you do buy the book I think I get like five cents or whatever it is um but but again Charles DG's book is is superb and and I
4:13 can't recommend it highly enough so the first thing he talks about is something called The Habit Loop which is essentially how you create a habit and the Habit Loop has three steps there's the Q the routine and the reward so the Q is is a something that triggers you doing the behavior so I'll I'll take the habit I mentioned a minute ago about reading you know this document back here so the cue is um brushing my teeth okay
4:49 um that's that that's it's at that time that I I have to because I I brush my teeth for for two minutes and and I have I you know I I first of all I want to I want to not skimp on the time I take brushing my teeth and it's boring brushing my teeth so I paired that with you know reading reading this uh set of of ideals okay so that's the cue the routine there's actually two routines one is brushing my teeth um and I don't I have an electric toothbrush that uh
5:24 stays on for 2 minutes divided into 30second segments so I can do you know top uh top right top left I mean um sorry right side outside left side outside right side inside left side inside for 30 seconds each um and and so so that routine and and the reading that's the routine and the reward is number one I've properly brushed my teeth okay and number two is I've prepared myself for the day reminding myself of who I want to be what kind of
6:01 person what what am I seeking to accomplish and and and what are what are some of my key uh you know philosophical statements affirmations that I'm going to that I live by in order to achieve success right so that's that's the the Q routine reward cycle or or as as Charles D calls it the Habit Loop and that's what creates a habit that's what creates a routine okay now not all habits are created equal so
6:37 Char DG talks about something called Keystone habits so a keystone habit is a habit that has Ripple effects okay so um one of my Keystone habits and I know I'm not talking specifically um in in in in a business uh um uh you know in a business situation I'm talking a little more broadly because I think in the case of habits what we do supports our success both professional and otherwise so one of my Keystone habits is is the habit of exercising
7:16 okay and my I I have I have it actually scheduled into my calendar uh six days a week okay so Saturday is the Sabbath and and I you know know that that's in in theory my day off in in practice um I do take a walk on the Sabbath and I'm actually working on establishing that habit um actually take that back I have I have it scheduled in my calendar five days a week um so what is the cue the cue is my calendar tells me it's time to exercise what's the routine it's either
7:54 doing my cardio rapid walking or working out with my uh train and what's the reward well there's there's a number of rewards number one is is the benefit that comes from exercising both the physical benefits but also the mental and emotional benefits it helps me clear my head it it gives me time to work through uh any particular problem if I'm feeling particularly angry or anxious about something it gives me the opportunity to blow off steam all of those are um all of those are um the the
8:32 reward for the Habit that I've developed of exercising and and Ju Just to um digress for a moment um I think if you asked most people who know me well they would tell you oh yeah Kevin loves to run he loves to exercise I don't I really don't I was having this conversation with someone I know at my bank yesterday and we were talking about I said I I I do not I would rather I would rather sit at home and eat ice cream and Bon bonss literally than exercise so I have to have I have to have a routine I have to build exercise as a habit in in order to do it but be
9:10 but it's a keystone habit because the fact that I exercise also then has caused me to build other habits one of them is certain dietary habits so uh I I um I eat primarily fruits and vegetables and um uh nonanimal proteins except well I fish and non-animal pro other fish and non-animal proteins I guess is the best way to put it um and and high fiber
9:48 [Music] um carbohydrates I guess is again is the best way to describe them so well now why how is that an growth of the exercising well because I exercise if I eat a different diet for example if I were to eat a diet heavy in animal protein in meat um I feel very sluggish and it makes it harder for me to exercise okay so ex and and um I'm I'm not anti you know eating meat
10:25 at all um but what I find is it is it it's hard on my body to do so now that may be because I I've almost never eat it um I I I don't know but um because I have the habit of exercising and it it's in essence forced me into certain dietary habits in order to be able to exercise more effectively okay so that's what when he talks about a keystone habit it's a habit that then impacts our your life more broadly okay um the golden rule of of uh Habit change
11:04 is is the next aspect of his book and um in in um in if you want to change a habit okay you can't eliminate the cue or the reward what but what you can do is you can alter the routine so let's say you have a negative habit okay so let's say that um you know you have The Habit after dinner of sitting in front of the television um you know your day is done you've eaten dinner maybe you've done the dishes right it's not time to go to bed yet and so you have this
11:40 downtime and your habit is to sit in front of the TV um and and and eat a pint of hogendas okay I'll I'll choose that one because um many years ago that was my habit so can't change the queue okay because you're going to finish dinner and have you know downtime between finishing dinner and going to bed okay um you're it the the reward is difficult to change as well so um the reward may be you know
12:16 that this is your time to relax so what you what you need to do to change that bad habit of of of being sedentary and eating hog andoss is perhaps change what you're doing so find a different way to relax that doesn't allow you to eat at the same time okay so maybe and this is something I'm experimenting with um not that I eat a pine of hodas anymore but I I in the evenings I tend to I tend to basically you know sit down on my bed
12:53 and and watch you know kind of a Mindless TV show which it's relaxing but it's not it's not particularly beneficial to me so i' I've got a number of um DVD programs last year um from something from a company called the Great Courses and and what I'm working on now is developing the habit of um of of working on these classes instead of watching you know whatever it is I watch in the evenings Hogan's Heroes although I as as those of you who watch jigger's Place
13:28 know I dearly love the show Hogan Heroes okay but I can't change the queue which is I'm done with dinner but you know don't want to be going to bed at at at seven seven or or 8 o'clock at night my bedtime is is you know 9 o'clock 9:30 um so I need something and but I you know I don't want to go out and exercise because then I won't be able to sleep so I want to start to power down um but I I feel like I'm I'm you know
14:03 watching you know old TV shows while I I like it it's it's not very productive number one the other thing I sometimes do is I end up playing these these sort of word games on on my phone which again it's it's not very productive and so I'm I'm working to develop a different routine that has the same trigger and has and has in some ways would have a greater reward because I would feel you know better if I were doing something a you know more useful with that downtime okay so that's the
14:38 the golden rule of habit change is is keep the queue keep the reward but create a different routine in between to get rid of a bad habit replace it with a good habit or at least a better habit okay all right um next is belief and support systems so if if you want to change your habits if you want to create more um routines that will better support your success you do need to believe that you can change okay now
15:14 this this is this is difficult because many of us we may say oh yeah you know we I can change but actually we don't believe that we believe that um our habits are Destiny and we have no ability really to change them so I know someone who um is is a Mena member um and yet this person um has the belief that um that that she's not good at mathematics like how can you be a genius
15:51 which is what a member of menza is um but not be able to to learn mathematics and know it well th those are incompatible beliefs okay um and and worse she's passed that belief on um to her child so you know this is someone whose beliefs and support systems are working counter to what would be best for her and while not being good at math You could argue okay but that Pro may not have a very big
16:26 negative impact on her life that's true however in it plays out more negatively in other areas of her life so the the um incompatible belief system and and ability if you will of of math that's somewhat benign but the other ways it affects her life are much more detrimental and especially when it comes to her her health both her her mental and her physical health
17:01 so um and this is a problem for all of us so if we want to change our habits and build good routines the first thing we may need to do is examine our belief systems and see do we really believe we can change because if we don't we'll end up um what's what's the word I'm looking for um sabotaging ourselves and and so and and the problem too is each time we change and are
17:40 unsuccessful it tends to reinforce the belief that we can't change okay so while I've mentioned it as as the fourth thing just just because the way I I wrote the summary the the reality is is we need to examine our beliefs systems to see where they may be blocking us from our definition of success okay now one of two things is going to have to give way either we're going to have to change our belief system or we're going to have to change
18:16 our definition of success to the extent that the two are incompatible they're going to keep going bang they're just going to be bouncing off each other okay they need to be compatible so they're they're locking together okay so how do you do that well examine let's say you you want to create some better habits so examine previous times when you've tried to change them what has gotten in your way and and be as you know honest as you possibly can
18:51 be and as well talk to a couple of close friends and and say and and basically ask them say look I I don't want you to beat me up but but I want to understand this aspect of myself how do you see it as someone who knows me well but is not me and can be more objective than I can be about myself what do you see okay by the way this is a great exercise in knowing exactly how how close a friend you have right it takes a a very close friend to
19:30 take the risk of of answering that question okay so if if you have friends that won't answer it it doesn't mean they're not friends it it's just they don't feel um secure enough in your they may not I I don't want to say don't they may not feel secure enough in your relationship to tell you something that may reflect negatively on you okay and so you may need to work on building that friendship to a closer one that relationship make it a closer relationship before you'll be able to get the kind of candid feedback that you
20:06 need okay next is you may need to develop willpower and and and this this is now interestingly enough this is something that I used to say before I read um Charles dug's book and that is willpower is like a muscle so you've heard me talk about faith faith too is like a muscle so if if we if we want to have faith at crucial times in our lives we need to work on building up our faith muscle so that it's there when when we need it most
20:42 okay same with willpower so willpower the more we work on developing it the stronger we get just like the more we lift weights the stronger we get now here's the key abstention is not really willpower okay any more than Indulgence is willpower so so for example um let's say that um that you um
21:17 you don't drink enough water during the day drinking an unlimited amount of water is that is not correcting that deficiency okay any more than starving yourself of water is so willpower is the ability to establish a limit and then adhere to that limit okay so um let's let's take a negative habit okay and let's say you have an addiction to um Coca-Cola okay which which I can
21:54 totally understand by the way because I love Coca-Cola okay this is not a slam on coke it's one of my favorite things to drink okay I almost never drink it anymore okay so I went from a time in my life when I would go through two liters of cocacola in sometimes two or three days okay to to now where I have one maybe once in a while as As a treat okay I didn't do it cold turkey okay what I
22:30 did is I weaned myself off it I built my willpower up the problem with going cold turkey is if you you will you will oftentimes experience a trigger that will take you right back to your old habit okay so again just like we were talking about the Habit Loop Q routine reward and we talked about the golden rule of change what you have to change is the routine okay to build willpower you you do so by gradually
23:06 changing the routine so uh you know I started out whereas I might go to the store and buy you know two two liter bottles of Coke a week okay the first thing I did was I I only bought one a week and that had to last me for the whole week okay now in the beginning it only lasted me and for you know two or three days because I was so used to drinking so much of it and over time I was able to stretch out one 2 L bottle over the week okay and then what I did is I I
23:41 started buying one liter every other week okay because it's it's it was easier for me to control the amount of cocacola that I had available than it was to just like have it there and have it tempting me okay so by gradually changing the um the amount of coke I drank on a daily basis or or sometimes I would skip a day in order to make sure it could last me for two weeks right I I
24:16 ratcheted down the amount of coke I drank and I built up my willpower it finally got to the point where at the end of two weeks I still had some coke left in the bottle um and it had gone flat okay and it was at that part so then then I I tried backing off that so I tried buying um a Le you know I went back to buying a leader a week and what I noticed was I just wasn't that particularly interested in drinking it or it wasn't that it wasn't interested in drinking like it wasn't the first thing I reached for I started
24:51 reaching for water instead of coke okay and so the bottle would stay in there and sometimes it would stay unopened for two or three weeks and then okay then I would open it up I might have a glass with you know whatever and blah BL so so build up willpower gradually in the same way that you build a muscle right the first time you go into the gym you're not going to lift up you know 50 pound barbells okay unless you're already very very strong you're going to start out with maybe six or eight pound barbells and then work up to 10 12 15 20 okay
25:27 that's how you build willpower as well okay excuse me now next is um develop small wins okay and this is particularly important if you're working to develop greater uh better financial habits okay so if you have the bad habit of spending a lot of money um the best thing to do rather than again just trying to stop cold turkey which
26:03 leaves you vulnerable to a trigger that relapses you to your old habit is find a small way to alter your your your spending habits first and take that small win okay and celebrate that small win so maybe you're in the habit of buying new clothes every day Okay so a small win would be skipping a day perhaps okay and if you if you skip a day of buying clothing um you know maybe you
26:42 you um I don't know if you like ice cream maybe you get an extra scoop of ice cream or something like that you give yourself an extra reward but but go for small winds build small winds okay it's it's it's similar to what I was saying about how you build will power go for small wins first so let's say you're you're addicted to debt okay one of the mistakes people wanting to get out of debt typically make is they think I've got to pay off the largest debt first because if I can pay off that big debt then I'll feel much more relieved it's
27:17 actually the opposite even if your smallest debt is also the lowest interest rate debt that you have you're much better off paying off the smallest debt first okay that gives you a small win and you can build on that win and so it's it's better really to pay off your debts smallest to largest okay because you'll get more wins along the way that will give you momentum so that by the time you get to that largest debt you've had enough momentum that will carry you through and
27:54 give you the willpower to conquer that large debt okay so to create the habit of better fiscal Prudence shall we say right take small wins that's what you want to do okay so there there's a lot of other great stuff in uh Charles doig's book okay and that's why I I recommend you get a copy and read it Mark it up the way I did so but but the the key going back now to the theme of of this episode building routines for Success so what
28:32 are the key then is is to figure out what does what is success from my perspective until you know what that is you can't build routines or habits that will undergird it okay and if you if you go to my YouTube channel you'll I have I think a couple at least a couple of episodes on how to um how to build you know routine or or how to I'm sorry how to figure out what success means to you okay and and and by the way if if if you
29:07 would like it I I wrote a book a number of years ago called um the eight deadly sins of job hunting uh it it was when I was coaching military people to get to get their first post-military job so the first part of that book is really helping them figure out what does success mean to me so if you'd like a PDF copy of my book uh send me an email um my email address will be in the show notes after this episode posts and I'll be happy to send you a link at which you can download a free PDF copy of my book
29:43 so if you're struggling with even understanding well what what do I think success is okay that's your first step what what is success and then once you know what success looks like for you you can start building routines that will support that definition so for example if part of your definition of success is to be healthy physically okay or maybe it's to be an athlete okay not necessarily A worldclass athlete but someone who can
30:18 engage in physical activity um and and and and not be you know ashamed of ourselves right okay so then you can build routine te that will support that aspect of your definition of success and those are going to revolve around sleep diet and exercise okay so one of the most important habits we can create no matter what our definition of success is are good sleep habits what's called good sleep hygiene okay and and um my friend
30:56 Dr Michael Bruce the sleep doctor and I I'll put his uh I'll put the the uh URL to his we to his website also in the show notes um he talks about what good sleep hygiene looks like and so and for example it's um having you very dark uh room um having a low temperature which which signals to your body that it's time to rest um having it very quiet um or having White Noise Okay um shouldn't have a television in your room okay this is i' I've kind of backtracked on this
31:33 habit recently because I've been having some sleep problems and I need something to distract myself um so so having building a good routine around going to going to bed at the same time waking up at the same time critical to getting good sleep and there lots of other things okay so you can build routines around sleep that will help you sleep better and that will support your ideal of success that includes being physically fit or being an athlete
32:08 or however you describe that to yourself that's just that's an example okay uh another uh if you want to be successful in your business okay so one of the habits you're going to need to create is to routinely be reaching out to potential new clients or customers okay and so this this is something that that I'm working on right now because I I was I was doing it um the end of last year and then I kind of SED off on it and and so now I'm rebuilding this habit how am
32:45 I building it I'm building it by putting time in my calendar blocked out okay nothing else can get scheduled during that activity um so that I do do it every every basically every weekday okay and and the what what is the cue it's that my calendar pings me to say it's it's time to do your marketing work what is the routine it's it's doing my LinkedIn marketing and and and again for those of you who are interested in that I've done a show on that just just look look it up on my YouTube channel and
33:21 what is the reward well the reward is more business right so this is a particular a particular habit that again if you want professional success and if you're watching people making money presumably you do so this is a habit that we we all need to to work on it and build it's it's a routine we need to have for Success okay so these are the kinds of things that you want to think about as you flush out your image of success what things can I routinize that
33:58 will be more likely to bring it about rather than handle things haphazardly or re you know count on on on on luck or or or or Braha um that's Hebrew for blessing it's it's it's fine to hope that that God blesses you my experience is that God is more likely to bless me when I get out there and and do the hard work that shows him that uh I I I truly do seek his Blessing so so use these use uh use Charles DG's book again uh The
34:35 Power of Habit okay what we do uh or why we do what we do in life and business that's that's the subtitle of the book okay um use Charles dug's book to build the habits build the routines that will help you get ever closer to your definition of success okay all right so that's our show for today this is also the last show for this week so I I thank you very much for joining me today uh
35:10 next week on Monday at 10: am is my show trust and Estates weekly my guest is Jacqueline Yu Jacqueline is a trust and estate attorney and she's going to talk about complex and advanced issues in in trust and estate matters I'm really looking forward to speaking to Jacqueline can't encourage you highly enough to tune in again 10: a.m. Pacific time on Monday and then on Tuesday at 10: am is business lessons from the military and um I don't
35:47 recall what my uh I don't recall what what what my topic is but but we'll be we'll have one there and then on uh Wednesday a week from today um is I'm having my guest I'm having another guest David Daly and he's going to be talking about flying with your feet on the ground so David is a drone pilot and he has built a business as a drone pilot uh he's a a Marine Corps veteran and so looking forward to having David on the show I think you
36:22 will find what he's doing to be fascinating he is really at The Cutting Edge of Technology um this this kind of go this kind of aligns with my show yesterday when I was talking about um how to integrate technological change into your business this is a military I I used a military example to show why that's necessary and how to do it most effectively and and David Dy is going to be a living example of that so that's next week Wednesday at 10: am and then next week on Thursday at 5:00
37:00 pm is my every other week show jigger's place and this is a time for us as we head toward the end of the week to relax have a cocktail and talk about all those things that have nothing to do with with Business and Professional success and my topic is going to be the ex what I call the existential question Faith versus reason and uh it it's something i' I've thought a lot about and I'm looking forward to sharing a few Thoughts with you on that subject while we enjoy a
37:35 cocktail so that's Thursday at 5:00 pm Pacific time that's in the the afternoon or or evening if you're on the East Coast so again thank you so much for joining me today really appreciate it when you tune in wishing you both a wonderful rest of the day and rest of the week and signing off as I always do Marie darling You Are my bell courage at all times my friends