0:02 Who [music] are you? And where are you going? [music] What do you want? Hello and welcome to People Making Money. I'm your host, Kevin Bemel, and I'm here every Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time to talk about job hunting, starting and running a business, and building wealth, all the financial side of life. So, today I'm going to be talking about uh I I named the episode
0:38 wealth and transition. And it's it's really the situation in which we find ourselves when how we view ourselves or want to view ourselves is not in alignment with our financial position. [snorts] And it can cause I think quite a bit of conflict and it can um damage our our ability to uh to get success or to get the kind of success that we want um as as well as uh
1:15 damaging relationships. And so I this is this is a topic that um it it combines um oops my my notes are suddenly going crazy here. So it combines the uh income and wealth building that I typically talk about on this show with some identity issues. So just referring to the three pillars of attainment, we have uh uh pursuits there in the in the green and and one of them is uh
1:51 finances. It's it's actually in the I'm trying to do this right. That's finances. But if you go above that, this is the self-pillar. And at the top of the self-pillar is our identity, our purpose, and our mission. And obviously everything in the pyramid is closely bound together, but perhaps more so than many other countries. In the United States, our identity tends to be closely tied to our work and or
2:26 professional lives and our our status with refle with respect to uh what we can or cannot afford. Uh and that's not to say that everybody in the United States aspires to be a billionaire. I don't think that's the case at all. Um, but I think most people in the United States aspire to be in the middle class and and what that affords for us and our families and how we look at ourselves when we are part of it or not part of it when we're in the upper versus middle versus lower middle class. All of that I
3:03 think impacts us. maybe we're not uh consciously aware of it or at least not all the time, but I think nonetheless it does. So, I have a number of points uh that that I'm I'm looking to cover and hopefully this will resonate with with you um and and your particular situation. So um first of all I want to talk about just the psychology of money and identity. So uh
3:40 I and this may be more true for men than women. Um some some would say oh that's a stereotype but I I don't think that's I don't think it is a stereotype. I think uh evolutionarily uh men typically provided um going back to huntergatherer societies. I as a digression for a moment I've been listening to or not listening watching a um a program on the history of daily life in in in sort of the very early
4:15 days of the development of humanity. So we started in the sort of prehistoric times and and now um I'm up to ancient Greece. So worked through Mesopotamia and and then through Egypt and and now like I said I'm at Greece. And and one of the things that the history of daily life shows is that although uh women worked uh they they typically were not involved in work that
4:50 related to the the sustenance of their families. So rarely were women involved in well I shouldn't say let me let me rephrase that. women. Rarely were women involved in hunting, for example, which was a a large source of sustenance for prehistoric peoples, okay? Especially in the days before there was the cultivation of crops. So women may have been involved in the sort of gathering part, berries and and that sort of
5:25 thing, but in the more kind of a aggressive and assertive part of providing sustenance, it was men who were involved. and and as as we work our way through into uh Egypt for example. So uh while there were were women involved in uh farming cultivation um it it was still a a maledominated part of of life at that time. So uh to the extent that women did work in
6:02 addition to keeping a home and and bearing and raising children, a lot of a lot of the time that was uh at least for what would be the equivalent of a middle class uh was was more to afford kind of some of the nicities of life, if you will, as opposed to the subsistence part of life. So I I I think there's there's a like I said an evolutionary heritage that that drives a difference between men and women uh when it comes
6:37 to this this feature of earning a living and how that impacts our identity. And so when we when we look at at the convergence of money and identity, I think we what what we see is that to the extent uh for example um that uh a a man is is is is not earning or is is not uh supporting his family. Well, uh that has a a profound
7:12 impact on how he sees himself, how he how he values himself. uh and uh th this this can lead to kind of a almost a downward spiral and and it's why it's so important for for boys and and and teenage males, if you will, to be mentored by uh mature men and and guided into productive lives that will support uh their their self-esteem. And
7:47 in in the United States, a productive life in general means a life earning money at whatever the acceptable level is for the particular individual. So again, that's not to say that in order for a man to live uh you know a successful life, he has to be earning millions of dollars. That that is clearly not the case. On the other hand, I think for most men, the perception of being able to uh generate sufficient
8:23 income for a middle class life is is a a core factor of maintaining proper self-esteem, proper self uh perception. So that that's kind of the the the the you know base if you will the foundation on which I think we need to build this. Now uh the the counterpart is is women. So you know with the advent of the feminist movement this this idea of earning
8:58 was sort of imposed on women and and now it's it's very common for women to take what hereto for was a a more a more male perspective that their self-worth is is tied to uh what they earn. For women though I think this comes into conflict with what is oftentimes a desire to have children raise a fam raise children have a family in that sense and be because it's very difficult
9:34 to be a good mother while also being uh you know a a successful professional for example. Uh and and the stories are a legion of women who have gotten into their 40s and and and are alone essentially. They they never took the time to have children or to build a marriage and and they have a lot of financial success, but um they have no no family. Um and I think this is causing a divide in our society that is
10:10 very unhealthy. Um and and among all the divides in our society, whether they be political, philosophical, etc., the divide between men and women could, you know, I I I don't want to sound cataclysmic, but to the extent that men and women no longer congregate, so we're going, you know, that really is the end of our society. um because it's only through men and women getting together, hopefully marrying and having children that our society perpetuates
10:47 itself. So, so th this this this whole subject of of of money and wealth in transition as we look at the psychology undergirling the question has much broader uh impact on our society. So uh you know as as we consider this question of how do we perceive ourselves in light of our ability or lack thereof to
11:22 earn money to build wealth, right? We have something called the wealth whiplash effect. So, uh you I I see this in in my work where uh I administrate trusts and estates and and people find themselves all of a sudden getting a a big chunk of money or even a huge chunk of money that in fact they did nothing to earn. So, they're they're inheriting it in one one way or another. And now all of a sudden the their economic level
11:58 has changed even though nothing else has. And I think that this can this can create uh confusion. It can create guilt and but it can also create uh it can exacerbate it to the extent that someone already has a sense of entitlement. So now their entitlement um belief has been fulfilled uh and yet it may not be fulfilled enough and or okay now it's been fulfilled but then they spend their way through that money
12:35 and it's gone and yet the sense of entitlement is still there. And so it it it engenders um you know a sense of bitterness and and resentment even though you know the individual did nothing to earn the money, did nothing to make the money. They got it but then they were irresponsible spending their way through it and now it's gone and now now they're, you know, resentful because their economic status has, you know, declines. And so that's why we have this
13:10 sort of whiplash effect. It's it's the same thing you see often times with people who win the lottery. So I don't I don't recall the exact statistic, but I I I believe it's something like, you know, 80% of the people who win the lottery spend through all the money in five years or some, you know, virtually unbelievable statistic like that. How could they do that? You know, someone wins a lottery of even if it's relatively modest, $10 million, which means they're likely to walk away with somewhere around $5 million if they take a buyout. $5 million is a lot of money.
13:47 Even here in the United States, even here in Los Angeles, one could live for the rest of one's life with with family members with with $5 million. Okay? It's not going to be a grandiose life, okay? But it would still be, you know, reasonably nice life, right? And yet people spend through it and now they're, you know, back where they were where they were or even worse off as a result of, you know, the experience of having having a windfall and then losing it. So uh when we talk when I talk about uh
14:24 confusion I I see that sometimes be like okay now I have a but what do I what do I do about this not what do I even do with it what do I do about this so I I see people who are concerned about the impact unearned wealth will have on their children and their children's expectations not only while they're children but later in life. um how it could potentially cause conflict between spouses who have a different response or even re reaction to the sudden gaining
14:59 of wealth. And and most of us are unprepared for this because most of us don't grow up with a lot of wealth. And so, you know, it really takes a a mature, thoughtful approach to working through the confusion to a place of, shall we say, emotional acceptance or comfort, something something along those lines, while at the same time not being irresponsible
15:34 with this newly gained wealth. Going back to another thing I mentioned, guilt. Guilt is I didn't do anything to get that. Why do I have this money? Right? Um you see people who will sometimes give away a lot of the money because they feel what? I didn't earn it. I'm not entitled to it and and so it needs to go elsewhere. Look, that's a perfectly uh a perfectly fine thing to do as long as it comports with what the person's what the person's values are and and with what the person uh truly thinks. So,
16:11 how we work through the the whiplash effect, I it it it should be a maturing event. Uh but but in any event, we we need to be thoughtful. we need to be deliberate in how we work it through uh and and not let ourselves get carried away uh by the by this windfall. So I think that's there that's that's part of understanding wealth and transition. Uh another is um a sort of a mismatch between financial
16:49 capability and the emotional ability or the emotional maturity to manage you know emerging or or newfound uh shall we say ability to generate an income to to um create wealth. So I I think one of the fortunate parts of of my um professional history is when I had my first company started out very small was just me you know and I I struggled
17:24 and struggled and and it was over a period of about let's see 86 it was over a period of about uh five years. Yeah, it took me about five years to really build up to a place where I was earning income at the level that I I was seeking, basically a a low six-f figureure income. And I think that was good. If it had come very quickly, I I
18:00 I'm I'm that would have been a a harder thing to uh to which to adjust. So, uh the fact that I I did it incrementally gave me the time to grow in maturity on how to handle the success that that I was achieving, right? And um and I think that part of the reason why um I didn't rebuild my business as it started to decline into the early 2000s was that I
18:39 had a certain image of myself, if you will. And my, you know, what I was able to generate financially was not on par with that image any longer. And so I sought something else to do with on which I could sort of uh attach how I viewed myself. So I no longer viewed myself in a purely based on my ability to generate an income and build wealth. And so that that was why I I
19:15 joined the Navy um as a chaplain because in the Navy you get paid the same amount based you you get paid based on your as an officer your rank and your time and grade and it doesn't matter how great a job or how poor a job you do you get paid the same amount of money. There is no merit pay in the military. Right? So uh the these kinds of of uh issues can have a profound impact on us and they they take a I think a fair degree of of
19:51 self-nowledge for us to navigate successfully and most of us I certainly did not have that self-nowledge. I had to gain it as I built my business. So this is where financial mentorship and kind of a pacing lifestyle so that you know in my case I could get used to the the changes in in my financial my financial status. I could I could accustom myself to them and and and not
20:26 make you know egregious mistakes or you know develop spending habits that were unsustainable in that that sort of thing. So you know if if we want to avoid the whiplash effect uh then I think we we need to get good financial mentorship so that even if our gains be come very rapidly or if the declines come very rapidly we have someone to whom we can look for advice and guidance on how to deal with
21:02 with those um because they have they can have a very similar impact and we have to be able to develop ourselves to withstand both. Okay. Uh let's let's talk about now let's talk about um when income lags ambition. And I know this was this was one of my frustrations uh the first time I was in business is uh I I I've mentioned this before. I believe uh I was working for someone uh
21:39 he was a real estate syndicator and the the second year I worked for him he he earned a half a million dollars. Um and and not to say that he didn't work hard. He certainly did. Uh but but I was also working extremely hard, 60 to 80, sometimes as much as a 100 hours a week. And and in this year that he earned a half a million dollars, I got paid $15,000. Okay?
22:07 >> [snorts]
22:07 >> And I thought, you know, that was way out of scale, number one, for the effort that I had uh made and number two, given how hard I had worked and what I thought I had contributed to the success of the firm, it what I earned was in no way aligned with my ambition. And it w that is what impelled me to quit and start my own firm where
22:42 I I was the arbiter, if you will, of how much I was going to earn relative to the work that I put in. And I do I I believe to this day that having one's own business is is the best thing to have or being a part of a business in essence a part owner of a business whether it's by having stock options or owning you know even a small amount of equity in a in a a company you know for which you're working. This is the best way to deal
23:19 with this issue of income lagging behind ambition. Because if I am a part or a full owner of a company, if if my income is lagging behind what I think I should be making, well, the in the end the responsibility is mine because I'm I'm an owner or a co-owner of the venture. And so if if I'm not earning enough, then I have to take responsibility for that and I have to figure out what changes do I need to make in order for my income to match or or or even exceed my ambition. And so
23:58 again, this this is I think uh a mindset into which we need to mature. Uh we do live in a very um entitled focused society. We hear it in advertisements all the time. You deserve this. You deserve that. Your rights. You're this. You're that. I I I I will say that I I I think all of that type of advertising is incredibly corrosive for our society. Um most of us don't deserve much of
24:34 anything that we're not you know for which we're not willing to work. That's that is the bottom line. Okay. Uh and and the fact of the matter is even in societies that are highly socialistic where the the government in essence provides whatever it is housing uh food pensions or whatever. um the government is only able to do that on the backs of the productive people in the society. And so to the extent that uh someone is
25:12 taking more from the society than uh than than he's contributing that is creating first of all obviously an imbalance but it's also creating resentments and you know one would hope at least some guilt on the part of the taker that that he is taking more than that to which he's entitled. So as again as we as we look at how do we put ourselves in a position where um
25:48 our our our level of maturity is staying essentially aligned with our financial level. Okay. So being a part being a part owner of an enterprise is one of the best ways to do that. Now if for whatever reason you know we we we're not a part owner of a business or maybe we've been working for a company for a number of years. We're loathed to give that up the seniority up or whatever even though the chances we're going to ever get equity or stock options or whatever are not going to
26:24 materialize. So then I think we have a little bit harder time of it. Or let's say you know you're in the military where the military is not a wealthbuilding institution per se although the the pension system in the military does provide an incentive to stick in you know to stay in for 20 years in order to get a pension. And and these days, you know, if if a a service member stays in the military and does get a pension, it's likely that they're going to retire from the military with an equivalent
27:00 net worth based on their pension payments of probably somewhere between at least a half a million dollars and a million dollars. I've done the calculations many times and uh for someone who who retires from the military as um at least an E6. So in the Navy that's a first class petty officer. In the Army that would be a staff sergeant. That would also be the case for the Marine Corps I believe. And I I can never remember the enlisted ranks in in the Air Force. But so if you're if you're retiring at the E6 level, um, and
27:38 this is going back when I did the calculations now about uh close to 20 years, you were going to retire with the the equivalent net worth of at least a half a million dollar. So today, maybe it's more like 7 or $800,000. And if you're an officer in the military, you retire as an officer. Even if it's a as an 03, certainly as an '04, uh the pension that you're going to get is likely to be the equivalent of a net worth of of around a million dollars. Okay? And then the more senior you are,
28:13 the the the higher the value uh the what what's called the net present value of your pension. So um uh all all of these um are are ways of you know looking at really is your income as an employee is it really lagging behind your ambition or are you building wealth in ways that you're not perceiving because you can't actually see it in your bank account u but indeed your financial cial position
28:50 10, 15, 20 plus years hence is actually going to satisfy your ambition. And so the ability to look beyond just the simple numbers to to to see, you know, what it is you're truly doing in a professional or or or work situation will help deal with that issue of of income potentially lagging behind ambition. Okay. So, let's take a break and we'll come back with I'll come back with some more thoughts.
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30:02 or visit magnumprops.com. So this is people making money, one of the way to wow shows. I'm your host Kevin Bemel and we're talking about wealth in transition and and and this is sort of the nexus between our financial situation and our self-identity. So I I I talked about a few things uh to to start out the psychology of money and identity, the wealth whiplash effect and and what happens when income lags behind ambition. So, next I want to talk about
30:39 well I want to I want just going to mention this because I did a whole show several weeks ago on lifestyle creep and and this is the situation where as you earn more money and and build greater wealth you're you're the the cost of your lifestyle is outstripping even the gains that you're making. So, uh, I'll I'll do my best to remember to put a link to that episode in the show notes for this episode if you want to refer back and take a look at the this issue
31:14 of lifestyle creep. Okay. So, um I think the next the next issue about wealth and transition is what happens to our relationships um when financial changes are taking place. So as we for example uh earn more money um achieve greater professional or or work success uh how do our how how will our current friends respond to that? How will our spouse respond to it?
31:49 Our children okay so this is different than what happens if we get a windfall or some kind of inheritance or you know win the lottery. Okay, that's a little bit different because um while while you know we a person ends up wealth we wealthier as a result I most people look at that and go okay but they didn't do anything to get that and so I guess you know good for them that they have the money uh but you know they're still the person I knew before or it nothing changed about them that that got them that money opposed to
32:25 someone who through their work efforts starts to build a a larger more successful uh financial position. So it can often create a situation where uh friends or even family members look at it and say, you know, I work just as hard as Kevin. Uh how come he's successful and I'm not? So it can breed jealousy. It can be breed resentment. um with you know now that's that's in
33:01 terms of friendships or or or or even you know sometimes family members. Um but it can also uh happen in business partnerships. Uh maybe it's but with but within there it's it's a little bit altered because presumably all the partners are working for the benefit of the business but one partner may be you know the so-called rain maker who's bringing in all the you know income generation while other partners may be more you know maybe focused on operations or logistics or whatever. And so for the for the partner who's bringing in, you know, the the the the
33:38 income, so to speak, you know, it could cause him to think, well, you know, I'm actually the one bringing in all the money. How come I'm I'm only getting a third of the results. I should be entitled to to more of the results because without me, uh, you know, the business would not be successful. But, of course, that's a false argument because it's all good and well to bring in the business, uh, but then somebody has to service the business. And if the business isn't serviced, it's going to pretty quickly fall apart, right? But that that doesn't but that reality doesn't necessarily or the the objective
34:14 truth of that of that reality doesn't necessarily cause people to, you know, give up their jealousies or or their resentments or whatever. And so we have to look I think we have to be aware of how changes in our financial status is impacting uh other other people. So I know when I again going back to when I had my first company and I started doing well there there was a time I probably about six
34:49 six about six years into when I started my company. I was earning more than all of my immediate family combined. Right? Sounds pretty crazy and it and it was crazy. Uh I mean it was my ambition to be financially successful. Uh but but it you know what what ended up happening was one by one my family members came to work for me and they see wait I you know why is Kevin earning all this money in in in essence and I it it wasn't you know fortunately it would it wasn't a
35:24 big uh you know a big source of dissension among my family members but there was there was tension there that you know me you know a child was employing both my parents and me not the oldest child was you know employing both my sisters right one older and one younger so uh you know these are generally speaking we don't think that this is how life is supposed to work and so uh you know I I was looking at it from the standpoint is I thought it was uh a terrific thing to be able to uh provide
36:02 my family members with employment um and you know I liked working with my mother. I had worked with her before uh when we both worked for someone else. Um I liked working with my dad because he he he came out of retirement uh and he was doing work he loved to do. I've told stories about uh my you know my dad and I working together before. Um and you know my sisters it was kind of like well I felt like I had an obligation since they need a place to work to you know to to give them a place to work. But um but they were looking at you know and and I didn't realize that um my sisters
36:39 primarily were looking at it differently. My dad and I think I think my dad and I were looking at it exactly the same. That's why it worked out very well and to a large extent I think the same was true with my mom. Um but you know these are dynamics about which we have to be aware and we have to take some responsibility if we want to maintain those relationships. Okay. So, uh, you know, I'm reminded of an episode of the TV show Friends when, uh, let's see, it's, uh, it's, uh,
37:19 Chandler. I'm trying to think, it was Chandler and, um, Ross and I'm trying to think of who the third one was. Oh, and Monica. Uh, they were all doing well. financially and so they wanted to go see a a Hoodie and the Blowfish concert and the other three friends uh um Rachel and Joey and Phoebe, you know, they were not doing well and so they couldn't afford to go and they felt like the other three
37:54 friends were putting them down uh by, you know, being being, you know, saying, "Well, we should go to this and they can't afford to go." And it was like it but it was it was a great episode because they found the way to work through it which is which is the point right so uh you know you know at one point the the three friends who can afford it say well why don't we pay for you to go and then and the other three friends are like no that's not that's not the point you know um we we don't want to have to feel bad
38:29 about not being able to afford to go and you're making us feel bad. That was kind of the statement. And the three friends who could afford to go were saying, "Wait a minute. Why should we feel guilty for having done well enough to be able to afford to go to this cool concert?" Right? And and you know, the the fact of the matter is um in the way they handled it um they hurt their friend's feelings. The the three who could afford to go hurt their friends feelings. uh they could have handled it differently, right? But it
39:04 was also not true uh on the part of the three friends who couldn't afford to go that they were being made to feel that way, right? They they had a choice about how they felt. Uh and if their if their friends had hurt their feelings, the proper response was to say, you know, I don't think you intend to do it this way. Uh but but the the way this is all coming together makes me feel bad. I have to take responsibility for feeling bad, but I you need to take responsibility for being uh you know a more sensitive friend in essence, right?
39:40 And and and that's the reason I bring up this episode is because f first of all, it's a brilliant TV show about how to maintain relationships, right? Because the whole show is about how these six people maintained their close friendships, close relationships and then eventually what um well um um Chandler and Monica get married, right? M maintain their marriage uh in the face of all the kinds of things that happen in life that can make make friendships and marriages uh come apart, right? And
40:15 so there's actually I think a lot of good uh sort of uh grist for the mill as we say in watching that show and and getting some thoughts about how to better manage uh you know relationship conflict and and and in in this particular episode the conflict that comes out of financial changes, financial disparities, that sort of thing. So there's no reason for us to be resentful or jealous of people who do better than we do. Look, sometimes it is luck. Okay, so we didn't get lucky and they did. All right. Um, you know,
40:51 sometimes u the fact of the matter is other people work harder than than we do. I'm perfectly willing to stipulate that lot a lot if not most of the people who are more financially successful than I am are just they're willing to work harder, make bigger sacrifices uh than I've been willing to make. Well, that's fine. You know, that's their values. Uh and and you know, they should live and be well. Um but there's no there's no basis for me to be jealous of their success. uh even if they got luckier
41:28 than I do because and I've talked about this book before, the richest man in Babylon in in in a way we sort of tempt the goddess of good luck, so to speak. Um and so, you know, if if God has chosen to give a particular individual greater blessing than than I've received, well, so that that that is telling me something about my relationship with with God. and and that's uh that's information that's input for me to ponder and and consider maybe I need to do something differently
42:03 or maybe there's a reason why God does not want me to be as financially successful as other people. Maybe he realizes it it's not the right thing for me at that particular time or I I I haven't developed the kind of maturity that would allow me to handle it or it's just it's just not what he wants me to have. Okay. Uh you know that that may be it. Uh and so all of these are ways of approaching how changes in financial situation can impact our relationships.
42:39 And and just like with so many of these issues, I think we need to be deliberate in examining them. We need to be mature in examining them. And I think we need to be truthful to ourselves and we need to be uh um kind and nice which are not the same thing in dealing with our friends and family members when it comes to these issues. And [snorts] look, the fact of the matter may be that as we progress professionally and
43:15 economically, there may be some people who were going to not be able to maintain with whom we're not going to be able to maintain relationships. Okay? Because relationships always take at least two people, right? And to the extent that a person cannot uh reconcile himself to our financial gains or for that matter our financial losses. Okay. It can be a situation where we were involved with you know people who were you know
43:51 generally wealthier and now for whatever reason we've our financial situation has declined and now the you know wealthier people with whom we were you know friends with or whatever before they may not be comfortable being around someone who's not as wealthy as they are. They don't want to have to deal with someone who, you know, can't pick up the check or go on the expensive vacation or whatever. Okay. Well, I I mean, if that, you know, that that's telling you something about those people, I think that they're um they're unwilling to make the emotional investment in
44:28 maintaining a friendship despite what, you know, what became a financial disparity. Okay. Well, I mean, some people just can't. So we have to deal with that on our own. But we we might have to leave those relationships behind. And again, it takes it takes maturity. It takes the desire to have insight into these issues. It takes being honest with ourselves. And in the end, it takes being willing to be uh like I said, kind and nice in talking about this the these issues with with
45:04 other people. kind in the sense of of, you know, being um honest and and candid, but nice in the sense of not clubbing them over the head with our cander, with our honesty. Okay, next. Um the uh I'm I'm going to skip this one actually because we're we're we're coming up on time here. So, okay. So um so financial planning for identity growth I think you know we don't have to
45:39 wait until the changes are occurring for us to start planning h um how you know how we're going to deal with those changes. Okay. So uh for example and this was the case in my life. I started I did start out as an employee. Uh but pretty quickly I saw that the path for financial success for me uh really had to go through being a business owner or an entrepreneur. Uh I
46:16 wasn't an entrepreneur in the purest sense of that world in in sort of creating a new business. The business I was in the real estate business which has exist existed for you know millennia certainly centuries. uh but I was entrepreneurally entrepreneurial in my business in that uh I was I was a pretty early adopter of technology and those kind of things for making my business operate as efficiently as possible. So, uh, you know, I I set I set goals all along the way, both short, medium, and long-term goals. Uh, many of which I
46:53 didn't initially achieve, and I had to revise those goals, and I've learned I've learned over the the the decades really how best to effectively use goal setting for myself. And and in fact I don't do a whole lot of goal setting per se anymore. I actually have created um um what I call um conditions of satisfaction. Um actually I I got that idea from my friend Jeffrey Hazes um a very um um perceptive uh uh entrepreneur
47:31 and and businessman. And so while I have uh annual objectives that I'm seeking to meet in support of um of of achieving or maintaining my conditions of satisfaction, that's what that's what I do now. But it took me several decades to get that all figured out. That was all part of my personal professional and financial maturation. Okay. And so, um, I I think it's it's an excellent idea to set goals. No matter
48:07 where you're at in your life, you may be my age and you've never set a goal in your life. Uh, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't ever set them. Quite to the contrary, start setting them now. Okay? And I'm I'm 65. Uh, but you could, even at my age, you could set 20 or 30 year goals. It's becoming ever more common for people to live into their 80s and 90s. My mother turned I I shouldn't say how old my mother is. [laughter] Maybe I've mentioned it before, but anyway, uh le let's just say that, you know, good for her that she um you know,
48:45 continues to get older but but maintains herself in in good health. Uh she recently uh had success successful shoulder surgery and and she's able to drive a car again. very excited about that. Right? So, we need to be planning, thinking ahead, pondering how might we deal with these issues. Okay? Knowing that the future is probably never going to occur, exactly how we think it will. Um, but this is the value of planning. So uh planning I I maybe it
49:23 [clears throat] been Eisenhower Dwight Eisenhower said this planning is crucial plans are worthless right? So to go through the process of planning is a very good thing because it gets us thinking about alternatives. It gets thinking about what uh problems may arise that can um prevent our achieving whatever goals, objections or conditions of satisfaction that we set. So the planning process gets our minds thinking
49:58 uh gets gets us considering uh what alternatives might we be able to turn to if our current path is not getting us where we want to go. Plans on the other hand to the extent that they cause our our behavior to calcify. So we're not able to make the changes and be nimble in in in our approach to uh achieving our our our goals or or conditions of satisfaction. So those those plans are are in some cases worse than worthless.
50:36 they are an absolute negative drag on us. Okay. So, and balancing those can be a little bit difficult. So, we want to be planning but we do have to create plans. We just can't let the plans become something that holds us back. We we have to be sometimes we have to be as nimble in changing our plans as as we are in in you know being desirous of having a plan uh to which we uh that we are following. So I think uh all all of
51:14 this comes down to a few things. One is we have to be willing to engage in uh taking our dreams, if you will, and turning them into a realistic way that they might be achieved. We have to be willing to share those ideas with mentors, with our spouse, with other close friends in our lives, uh with maybe a business partner. Okay?
51:49 And we have to be somewhat fearless in doing so because sometimes people will uh denigrate us for having ambition, especially if that ambition would necessitate our rising above whatever station we happen to have in life at that time. And and if and our friends may look at that and say, "Oh, well, you're going to become better than we are." And you know who who who do you think you are kind of thing you know that kind of attitude. Well that's why it takes some courage and it's one of
52:24 the reasons why I you know always sign off by saying courage at all times because we have to be courageous in how we approach our lives. We have to be courageous in uh in in seeking to attain our goals in in seeking to make our dreams come true. And and I don't mean this in the sort of fanciful way of, you know, of a child. I I mean in the uh considered way of of of a mature adult. I I I think it's the
53:00 saddest thing I can think of is to hear when an adult says, "Oh, I long ago gave up all my dreams." Wow. That's that that's that is truly terrible. We should all have dreams. We should all have a sense of the the the the quality of life that we want to have. Not just for ourselves, of course, ourselves, our loved ones, our families, our friends, our communities, our our our our community, our nation, the world. Okay? It's it's it's it's fine to have these
53:35 dreams. It's it's desirable. It's necessary even. Uh they because they inspire us. Uh, where would we be, especially as Americans, were it not for men and women who dreamed of a country that could become what the United States has become despite all her faults. uh uh so uh you know whether it's engaging uh like I say friends, family, business associates, uh professionals, financial planners, career planners, uh all of
54:12 these people can help us plan create a plan financial and otherwise that can also facilitate the growth in our identity and in the end That's what this is really about. Okay. As much as people making money is about how to, you know, how to achieve professional work success and build wealth, in the end, it's about understanding who we are. And so, I want to wrap up on this. So, I think that
54:47 uh we tend to think in the United States especially, we tend to think of wealth as being monetary or solely monetary and that is not the case. So we we need to think of wealth as not only money but also health in all areas physical, mental, spiritual, in relationships, in perhaps and and in our whatever else we value. We may value autonomy. So it to be wealthy then we need to have a wealth of autonomy. We may value wealth
55:24 in not being autonomous in in creating a network of reliances. Okay, that would be I I know for my life I I I find myself in in the tension between desiring autonomy and recognizing that my life is much better when I have more reliances, right? And so wealth for me is is when I'm feeling like I'm kind of in the sweet spot of
56:00 balancing those two. Uh which frankly rarely happens. U but wealth is rarely a permanent condition in any case. So there have been times in my life when I've had a lot more money in the bank than other times. Uh there have been times in my life when I've had far far more friends than I've had at other times. Uh there have been times in my life when I've been much healthier uh than other times. So you know uh roughly a year and a half ago uh I was you know in the in the hospital. Um and and six months before that if you go back and
56:36 watch those episodes I've got one eye blocked out because of a you know physical condition. So, I was not particularly wealthy in terms of physical health uh in in in uh you know from um you know starting kind of early 2023 through roughly the middle of last year. Okay. And so now I'm blessed to to have a wealth of of physical health um that for whatever reason I I just wasn't able to achieve uh you know in that prior time period. So, I encourage you
57:12 when I when I talked about planning just a moment ago, when I talk about planning for wealth, plan for wealth broadly defined. And in the end, that's what the three pillars of attainment are all about. It's it's it's how to create a wealthy life in all the nine uh realms of life within all three pillars. Each pillar has three realms. So within all of those uh striving for that transition to to wealth, a wealth of relationships,
57:48 a a a robust relationship with with God, uh a a a um a a a an inspiring identity, uh a a a an abundance mindset, as they say, a wealth of good health. um a lot of of of pursuits. Um you know, f financial wealth, a wonderful thing, but also lots of of of hobbies or avocations that that that that we enjoy that give us as much
58:24 enjoyment as our professional uh accomplishments. Uh um um not academics is not the word I'm trying to think of. um intellectual a wealth of intellectual pursuits uh that that also stimulate us and help feed us with what we need in order to gain ever greater levels of wealth in all these other realms. So that that's that is the you know that is the message of the transition to wealth. Again, we we think about it as being monetary and
59:00 certainly monetary wealth is a fine thing uh for which to strive, but my you know, I'll put on my rabbi hat here for a minute. My my blessing for you is that you will you will uh seek and and find wealth broadly in your life and all in all these various realms. So, I thank you so much for joining me today. And uh you know this is a kind of episode where I would really I would particularly love to hear your thoughts, comments, criticisms. Uh you know how
59:36 did this strike you? Uh did it in did it inspire you and if so how? Did it depress you and if so how? Okay. So uh all my social media links will be in the show notes after this episode posts on Facebook. I'm sorry after this episode posts on YouTube. Um, and you can go there, you can rewatch it if you choose to. Uh, you know, maybe there's somebody in your life that needs this message. And, and if so, I would deeply appreciate it if you would show them this episode. Maybe it'll give them some comfort. It'll reignite some excitement
60:13 in their lives and and and and I would love to have the chance to uh earn their subscribership. Uh so um I thank you again very much for joining me today and look forward to hopefully seeing you again next week. Thanks so much to my live viewers. Great to have you there. And signing off as I always do. Marie darling, you are my bell. And here it comes. Courage at all times.