0:01 Who are you [music] and where are you going? What do you want? Hello and welcome to Jiggers's Place. I'm your host, Kevin Beml, and I'm here every other Thursday at 5:00 PM Pacific time to have a cocktail and a smoosh to talk about all of the things I don't talk about in my other three shows each
0:36 week. So, we talk about relationships, we talk about values, we talk about great books, and we have a cocktail. And so, that's always what we start out with. And so,
0:51 >> [clears throat]
0:51 >> today or this afternoon, I'm going to be talking about life planning. And so, in honor of life planning, uh my drink co-creator and I, uh, Chat GPT, uh, created a cocktail called The Blueprint, and you'll see it's kind of a riff on a dry martini. Um, and we'll we'll we'll see how good it is. So, um, we're going to start out with some London dry gin. This is just the sort of basic gin that's out there. Um, I like,
1:27 uh, brokers because it has the derby hat on the handle. Can you see that? There you There you go. See that? See, he's got a little derby on that. Cracks me up. And then I've got some Chenzano dry vermouth. This happens to be the kosher one, uh, which you can get in Israel. And then some benedicting, which is kind of an herbaceious liquor. And then I've got, we're going to have some fresh lemon juice. I'll squeeze in a minute. And then um some [clears throat] Bitterman's Orchard
2:02 Street cherry uh celery shrub bitters. Okay. So, uh, we're going to start out with an ounce and a half of of gin. Let's see. Where's the glass? Here. I always have trouble find this. Here we go. Okay. Ounce and a half. [clears throat] Put that in the mixing glass. For regular watchers of the show, you may be thinking, "Wait, I I don't That's not the mixing glass you usually use." Yeah, this is a different one. It's It's
2:37 narrower. It's taller. You know, kind of [clears throat] not to be funny. Mix things up a little bit. And then I'm going to use a half ounce of of the um dry vermouth, otherwise known as French vermouth. [clears throat] The sweet vermouth is also known as Italian vermouth. And then a/4 ounce of [snorts] Benedictine. and go.
3:12 It's about a quarter of an ounce. Put that in there. And I didn't pre-squeeze the lemon juice. I thought I'd do that now. I'm just going to squeeze this right into the mixing glass until I've got about So, I've got about a quarter of an ounce. Thinking maybe a quarter of Wow, that's almost a half an ounce. Okay, so we won't pour it all in. Yeah, about that much. Rub the lemon into my hands. Why not?
3:47 Okay. And then we need uh two dashes of the um of the of the bitters. One, two.
4:03 >> [clears throat and cough]
4:04 >> Okay. And now we're going to stir this up. It doesn't want to cooperate. So, I always mention when we're shaking or stirring, it's more than just mixing the different ingredients together. We're also looking, of course, to fill it down. Um, but also to uh let some of the water melt, which opens up the various flavors of the different ingredients in the cocktail. You can see the glass is beginning to
4:42 frost. Usually, you want to mix or shake for 20 to 30 seconds. And okay, that should do it. And we'll get our strainer out and we'll pour into our Nick and Nora glass. Nick and Nora, of course, refers to the uh The Thin Man, one of my favorite movie series.
5:18 And then we're going to express a lemon twist. And it says to discard it, but I'm going to drop it in. Why not? Okay, here we go. Very nice. Little bit different than a uh martini. Mhm. The Benedicting brings more flavors to it. Okay, see you
5:54 over on the couch.
6:55 Sorry about that. Uh, [snorts] I forgot to turn the microphone on. So, I've got my spherical pillow uh to play with. And I was saying I have my throw here uh which in case it gets warm, which or in case it gets too cold, which is not going to be the case here in Los Angeles. We've had unseasonably warm weather the last few days unfortunately because I like cold weather but I know many people do not and they're happy that we're having warm weather here in LA. So it's the um 15th
7:30 of January. We're about two weeks into the new year. I have to have some more to drink. Very nice. So, [snorts] I don't know if people today still have the compulsion to make New Year's resolutions. That used to be the thing to do in anticipation of a new year. And I do not make New Year's resolutions.
8:06 Um, I don't think they're useful, frankly, and I don't follow trends like dry January and wet December or whatever, whatever they have. I don't find any of that useful. [snorts] Uh, what I do find useful is understanding what I want my life to be. and then working consistently toward making my life that way.
8:44 And [clears throat] for many, many, many years, I set goals about, you know, I wanted to be making this much money. I wanted to have this thing. I wanted to have that thing. And what I found was the goals largely didn't work for a number of reasons. So let's take a net worth goal like I want to be a millionaire for example. Okay. So let's say you meet that goal. Let's say you work
9:21 on it and after 10 years you accumulate a million dollars. Okay? And let's say you have that million part of that million dollars in um mutual funds or ETFs or even individual stocks, okay? And let's say a year later, the stock market drops and the value of your portfolio [snorts] drops so much that now you don't have a million dollars any longer. Okay. Well, I mean, I guess you still met the goal of being worth a million dollars, but that doesn't really
9:56 do you any good now because you're not worth a million dollars anymore. So, do you need to set that goal again or what? So, [clears throat] and as well once you have that million dollars, okay, is the next goal to have $2 million and then maybe four and then maybe eight or maybe five or six, you know, where is the point at which you're content with your with your net worth?
10:31 So, uh this is quite a number of years ago now. I I want to say five six years ago uh a friend of mine by the name of Jeffrey Hazes who is the founder of uh seuite um networks. So [clears throat] Jeff introduced me into to the concept of conditions of satisfaction. Here's to conditions of satisfaction. So
11:08 conditions of satisfaction really are the ideas around which we're living our lives so that we can be appreciative and have some sense that we're living we're living the life that we want to live.
11:34 >> [snorts]
11:34 >> And so if instead of [clears throat] a $1 million and then a two and then a four and a six or an eight or a five or whatever million dollar net worth, what is what is our condition of satisfaction with regard to net worth? Okay. And that will be different for each of us. For some of us, I suppose it's going to be, I don't know, a billion dollars or maybe, I guess, a trillion dollars. [snorts] But I suspect
12:09 for most of us, it's not going to be nearly that high. Um, we're not going to want to make the sacrifices that it takes to make that kind of money. We're not going to want to have the responsibilities that are [snorts] inherent in having that kind of wealth.
12:28 >> [clears throat]
12:29 >> And so what is the level of wealth that we want that will bring us happiness, contentment, fulfillment in in in instill within us a sense of gratitude etc. And again that's going to be different for different people. Um, so I'm not going to talk about my personal goals. I I don't think that's appropriate. I also don't want to sort of lead the witness, as they say. Uh but [clears throat]
13:05 what that is will depend a lot on who we are, how we grew up, where we live, how big our family is, and the kinds of things that we want to be able to do. give money to charity, travel, um you know, attend a lot of uh popular cultural events, you know, those kinds of things. And [clears throat] the thing about a condition of satisfaction is it can change over time.
13:43 Okay? and as well. So we're we're the idea of a condition a condition of satisfaction is once we reach it then we're really in maintenance mode. And so let's say for the sake of discussion our condition of satisfaction for net worth is a million dollars. And then and so we get our million dollars. Okay, now we're in maintenance mode and and then you know
14:18 the market drops and now maybe our net worth is only $900,000. Okay, well we'll we'll work back up to the million dollar figure. Okay, but now the second time we're in maintenance mode. Maybe the idea is that we're going to invest differently so that we can maintain that million dollar net worth. Or we may have realized that a million dollars maybe that's not enough. Maybe our net worth needs to be a million and a half so that the the
14:54 things in which we invest are safe enough that we don't have to be concerned about a significant loss in capital and yet we still have sufficient income in order to do to live the life that we want to live. So these are these are the kinds of issues with which we can work with struggle with as we live our lives. Okay. And the other thing is, especially if we're married, so we, you
15:29 know, a a husband and a wife can figure out conditions of satisfaction together, right? And hopefully if there's differences of of opinion as to what it should be, well, okay. So then they, you know, husband and wife can make some compromises and and then they then they've got uh they've got conditions of satisfaction to which they can both aspire or really to which they can aspire to as a couple.
16:04 Okay. All right. So for any long-term goal, I have conditions of satisfaction uh not goals. Okay. So for my income, my net worth, those I have conditions of satisfaction for that. Now, in order to meet them, I have
16:39 certain goals that are a year or less in uh time frame. Okay? So, with respect to my business, my goals typically tend to be three, six, nine or 12 month goals. Okay? And so, for example, with respect to my shows, my goal by the end of this year is to have at least 4,500 subscribers. Okay? I have roughly 2,300 right now. So, I want to double that over, you
17:14 know, the rest of the year. Okay? Uh and [clears throat] uh so those so short-term goals are goals. Anything midterm or long-term is really more of a condition of satisfaction and it um it evolves as my life goes on as I understand myself better as my personal situation changes that sort of thing. So that that's number one. Number two,
17:50 I have conditions of satisfaction for each of the nine realms within the three pillars of attainment. So, let me let me see if I can I don't think I have uh [clears throat] oops, wrong one. Okay. I don't know what what this is doing, but okay. Well, uh, this is what I want. Yeah, there we go.
18:30 See, I don't think I have that in my presentations. No, unfortunately not. Okay. Well, that's all right. So, [clears throat] go over here. Oops. And let's let's bring up that graphic. I probably should have had it ready, of course, and I didn't. Oh, and of course, it's not okay. Well, you know, I I don't want to take a lot of time on this. So, the three pillars of
19:06 attainment are self, relationships, and pursuits, right? So, starting with the pursuits realm because it's the easiest one. Uh there is um um shoot, [laughter] I went up on it. Oh my goodness. Um here we go. Uh, so there are boy, I'm I'm really
19:42 I'm I'm really at a loss here. Here we go. No, that's that's that's an old one. Oh, I'm so sorry. This should be going more smoothly, but it just isn't. Okay. And oh, that's not gonna open. Oh, yeah, it will open up. Um, okay. Here we go. Come on.
20:24 Uh well, this this is a little bit embarrassing since uh I don't seem to be able to find the images that I need. Oh, wait a Here we go. When there's a will, there's a way. Here we go. Okay. [snorts] Okay. Uh here we go. All right. And I can even share this. Share screen. And there we go. And share. And let's go back here. And oh no, I shared the wrong
21:00 one. Let's uh hold on. There we go. Okay, finally. And let's go ahead and Okay, there we go. All right, so now you can see the three pillars of attainment. And you can see here's the pursuits pillar. And within it, we have finances, we have learning, and we have play.
21:37 >> [cough]
21:38 >> So I have conditions of satisfaction with respect to all three of those realms within the pursuits pillar. Okay. And then likewise in the relationships pillar. So there's family, friends, and God. And again I have I actually have one condition of satisfaction for each realm in each of the pillars. So I have a total of nine conditions of satisfaction for my life. Now why only
22:14 one? It's so that within that realm I can really focus on what is most important. Okay. And then in the self realm there's health, mindset and identity. And again, I have one condition of satisfaction within each of uh for for each one of the realms. Okay, there we go. Okay, so I'll just leave that off to the side.
22:48 >> [snorts]
22:48 >> uh and for me and this is what one of the reasons why I developed the uh three pillars of attainment it's important not to become overly focused on for example finances okay among my colleagues and I are running theme since really kind of last month is we work to live. We don't live to work. And that's important because it's very
23:24 easy to get very deeply involved in work and to the neglect of other aspects of our life. And it's a shame. And I think a lot of people who have devoted themselves to amassing wealth at the expense of their marriage, relationships with their children, developing other interests outside of professional interests. Uh they they they amass this wealth and they realize that their lives are rather empty and now, you know, they
24:01 they've got to rebuild. And you might think, well, but now they've got all this money and so they can do all these things. Yes, it's not so easy. You know, when people have that level of wealth, always in the back of their mind is, is this person interested in me because I'm wealthy or because of me? Right? And it's it's one of the reasons why we tend to see wealthy people marrying other wealthy people because to a certain extent that mitigates that concern, right? And uh I I I I know a
24:39 lot of wealthy people. I have known many more throughout my life and uh I think the vast majority of them would agree that indeed money can't buy happiness. It can buy a lot of distractions and it can make it easier to deal with the problems of life, but it can't buy happiness. It it can't buy the love of a spouse. It can't buy the the attachment of children, not the true attachment and
25:14 not true love. It can buy someone who will who will feain those emotions in order to uh still have access to the money. Okay? But it it can't buy those. Okay? Now, that I'm not saying therefore that somebody who's wealthy, you know, can't find a loving spouse. Of course, they can. But that spouse loves them whether they're wealthy or not. And it's hard. It's hard and even for the spouse, I can imagine that there would be
25:50 doubts. Do I do I do I really love my husband, my wife, or would I continue to love him or her if if the money was gone? And and so, uh, it it's it's not so easy navigating those issues when there's a lot of money involved. So what what does that mean then for planning your life? Well, it means that
26:25 all the realms of our life are important. That's why I built the the graphic of the three pillars of attainment the way I did. Okay? And while [clears throat] for practical reasons we may have to spend more time working uh than we do other you know looking after other realms of our life. Okay. So we may spend you know 8 to nine hours
27:01 a day on finances. Okay. So that leaves six 15 to 16 hours for the rest of the day. Okay. Subtract sleep 78 hours, right? So we're down to 7 to eight hours a day for the other eight realms. Okay. Now, [clears throat] they they are still as important as finances. And so we've got to find a way to be
27:36 uh as as efficient and focused as we possibly can when we're involved with one of the other realms. And ideally we'll find ways to be involved with multiple realms. So for example, going to worship services that gives us an opportunity to work on all three of the realms in relationships, family, friends, and God. It also gives us an opportunity to be involved in
28:13 uh really all three of the realms of self. So health, mindset, and identity. Right? And [clears throat] if we're going to a scripture study class, a Bible study class, we can be involved in one of the uh uh realms of the pursuits pillar learning. Okay. So, uh, if we take our family and go with our, you know, take our family and go with some of our friends to a social event or some
28:51 kind of fun event. We go to, uh, I don't know, a concert. Okay? So, we can involve two out of the relationships realm, family and friends. We can involve one out of the pursuits realm play and you know maybe we're also involving uh uh uh one or two of the realms in self identity mindset. Maybe going to theater inspires our mind something like that. Okay. We may do some sort of
29:28 physical activity. We may go on a hike with our family. So now we're dealing with health and family. Maybe we take some friends along and play, right? So, the idea is um and it's it's it's frankly much easier to combine the other eight realms into activities than it is to to do so in the finances realm. Now, there are exceptions. If we're working on the family finances, then we can work with the family together. [snorts] If we're in business with our family members, okay, so same thing, right? Uh but the
30:07 idea is as we create conditions of satisfaction in the various realms of our lives and then expand on those conditions of satisfactions into actual behaviors, uh activities. There's there's ways to make them overlap so that you're really working on multiple realms of your life at the same time and in so doing really
30:43 enriching your life. And so that's that's my message in terms of life planning is use the three pillars of attainment to help you figure out what what do I want my life to be? What do I want it to be with the other people in my life? And what does that mean about how I think, how I behave, what I do? Okay,
31:18 all of those will feed into and help you figure out what your conditions of satisfaction are. And then once you have those conditions of satisfaction written down, then you can work on them and really live the life that you've created for yourself. So, I thank you very much for joining me here at Jiggers's Place and I wish you a
31:55 wonderful evening. And I sign off the way I always do. Marie darling, you are my bell. Courage and