The WAY to WOW Shows
Cocktails & Making a Better World
October 22, 2026
Automatically generated from YouTube captions; names and wording may contain errors.

[0:04] Who are you? [music] And where are you going? What do you want?

[0:20] >> Hello and welcome to Jigger's This Place. I'm your host Kevin Bemel and I'm here every other Thursday at 5:00 p.m. Pacific time to have a cocktail and a schmooze as as I always say. And uh today um I'm going to be talking about making a decent world. And uh yeah, maybe it's because that's my topic. I got out of my last meeting about 3 minutes after the show was supposed to start. That's always of course the challenge of doing a live stream is sometimes business overtakes us. Um it was very important situation

[0:56] with a client uh trying to make the world a better place. So oh, um I was not able to do uh my regular prep. It's just been that kind of day. So I you know, I I I have my uh the decent standard cocktail here but I was not able to I didn't just just did not have the time today to uh you know, plan to to put together the uh the honey syrup and the ginger syrup and such. Um I do I do have some bourbon here and uh some lemon juice and some Angostura bitters, but anyway, so I'm

[1:31] going to have to I'm sorry to tell you I'm going to have to dispense with making a cocktail today. I I well, that particular cocktail. I am going to have a highball because it's it's Thursday [clears throat] uh afternoon and uh you know, it's it's it's time to relax. So um uh my favorite highball is a whiskey and soda. Um this is Cutty Sark. It's it's a it's a you know, blended whiskey that's been around forever, I think. It was um my dad's second favorite after uh Johnny Walker Black, which I have here in this

[2:07] carafe. I always have a Johnny Walker Black on Friday afternoons uh right before the Sabbath comes in just to get into the mood of the day. And uh I like my whiskeys and soda the way uh Winston Churchill did, which is [clears throat] uh a lot a lot of soda. Um not that I don't drink whiskey straight, I do. Um but I I I I I I like it with a lot of soda. So, I do about a three soda to one whiskey or sometimes even a you know, four soda to one whiskey. I have my um

[2:42] my Shirley Temple uh cup here uh that I got from Marie. And And for any of you who've watched the show, you always know that I sign off uh Marie, you're my bell. This This is a cup that I got from uh Marie, so it's a it's a toast to her. So, that having been said, the you know, cocktail part of the of the show is shorter today, and I'll see you over on the couch.

[3:38] And you might have noticed I don't have my 11 T

[3:41] >> [snorts]

[3:41] >> togs on uh today. I I didn't have time to change after my last meeting. Uh I did take my tie off. Um although this this is a really nice button, you know, Oxford uh button-down collar shirt. I love this sort of uh gray gray stripe. You don't see those too often. You usually see them blue or pink or whatever. Anyway,

[4:03] >> [snorts]

[4:03] >> you know, that it it it is what it is. So, thank you so much for uh joining me here at Jigger's Place. And uh you know, the the year is uh uh 10/12 over pretty much at this point in another week. Halloween [snorts] is is next week and then of course into uh the rest of the fall holidays. Um this is my favorite time of year. Uh the the the Jewish holidays are over now. So, I've been through that process and uh finally uh the weather here in Los

[4:40] Angeles cooled down. We had a really great rain yesterday. Um I went for a walk in the rain. It was wonderful. Um and and like I said, it's it's getting cooler now. Um I love the cool weather. I I love weather where you can wear an overcoat, but you know, I don't have to shovel snow here in Los Angeles. And uh people I think are a little more festive this time of year. They're looking forward to being with family and friends. And and so um it's just it's it's it's that, you know, holiday time of year.

[5:16] So, Mhm. So, this is a the subject that I'm talking about today is one that I give a lot of thought to. I think it's it's so difficult. So, I want you to put into your mind a time when you had a difficult

[5:51] interaction with somebody else. Maybe it's a family member, a friend, even a stranger. Uh maybe you were if you if you're a runner or walker like me for exercise, maybe you were

[6:06] >> [snorts]

[6:06] >> uh you know, walking or running across the street, a car almost hit you. And you know, how are you going to respond? So, there's been this notion around for quite some time that everyone is entitled to respect. And I held that idea uh up until about 5 years ago.

[6:41] And I was going through a very difficult time. And I was talking to uh a friend about it. Uh someone who I highly respect. And I was [snorts] saying that I I have was having a very difficult time

[7:01] >> [snorts]

[7:03] >> with the idea that I have to respect

[7:07] >> [snorts]

[7:07] >> um the the people that were causing the problem. And the person said to me, "Why do you have to respect them?" And I said, "Well, because we have to treat people respectfully." And his response was something that caused a major shift in my perspective for the better. He said,

[7:43] "I don't think that's true. See, I think we have to treat all people decently." And when he first said it, my inclination was to say, "No, no, that's that's not true." But I held that. I thought about what he had said. And we ended up talking it for a while. And he he's correct.

[8:20] >> [snorts]

[8:21] >> There are people in our lives or people I should say people who come into our lives. They may be in our lives as well.

[8:31] >> [snorts]

[8:32] >> Who are not respectable people. They lie. They cheat. They do bad things. And by the way, I'm not talking about

[8:47] >> [snorts]

[8:47] >> you know, somebody who's you know, our spouse who's tired and cranky and you [snorts] know, we do something and they yell at us. No, I'm not I'm not talking about that. We all get tired sometimes. We all get cranky sometimes.

[9:01] >> [snorts]

[9:02] >> We all, you know, stub our toe and respond

[9:06] >> [snorts]

[9:07] >> uh inappropriately. I'm talking about people who actually do bad things. Um And typically what I find is

[9:21] >> [snorts]

[9:22] >> they do bad things, but they they don't interpret them as bad. So [snorts] uh but they are. You know, they may violate one of the 10 Commandments, for example.

[9:38] >> [snorts]

[9:38] >> They may cheat someone. They may steal. So that person is not acting in a respectable manner. And I don't think we have any obligation at all to treat such a person respectfully.

[10:02] >> [snorts]

[10:05] >> However that doesn't mean that we can treat such a person in an indecent way. We can't yell at the person. We can't call the person foul names. I'm not saying they wouldn't deserve it. But we shouldn't do it.

[10:42] And here's why. If you're watching this show, I'm guessing it's because you want to live a life worth living. You want to live a life that as you get older, you can reflect back upon it and take satisfaction in how you behaved, the things that you did, the accomplishments that you have.

[11:21] And hopefully one of those accomplishments is to be a good person. Good people don't abuse other people, even if they deserve it. And I think this is an unpopular idea. Manners as something that we should have seems to be kind of out of fashion.

[11:59] Um I was I was watching a or really listening to a podcast yesterday. Uh young woman was talking about how people dress inappropriately.

[12:12] >> Um Um when they're out in public, they wear pajamas on a plane and such. You know, there's a a coarseness in society that people I think not only feel freer to express, but almost feel like that is the right way to behave. It is good to be contentious. It is

[12:49] um appropriate to you know, publicly castigate people, that kind of stuff. That people who who think that way, they're contributing to dis- to creating dysfunction in our society. And so, no matter

[13:25] how much we disrespect someone, and there are limits, which I'll talk about in a minute. We're not required to treat to respect that person, but we are required to treat them decently. Now, like with so many things, it's not absolute.

[14:00] The picture [snorts] isn't black and white, so to speak. So, if someone is being abusive, so we we still should not be abusive back. However, if they're being spiritually or emotionally abusive, we should cut them out of our lives. We should block their phone calls and text messages. We should

[14:36] block them on our social media. And we should let them know, I don't want to be I don't want to have anything to do with you. Do not contact me. You are out of my life. There's nothing By the way, there's nothing indecent about that. We have an obligation to take care of ourselves. But there's nothing indecent about banning an abusive person from our life. It's a perfectly appropriate thing to

[15:12] do. Now, if someone's being physically abusive, okay? Then, we may need, probably do need, to respond physically. But certainly at that point, decency is not the issue. Self-protection is the overriding issue. If someone is attacking you or threatening to attack you, okay? We don't need to treat such a

[15:48] person decently at that point. Indeed, we should respond as strongly as we possibly can. Now, that's not to say that in every physical confrontation, fighting back is the right thing to do. It may be we can get out of the situation without putting ourselves in physical danger. And if we can, that's probably a better way to handle it. And then, maybe we need to call the police and have them deal with the person who's being physically violent or threatening physical violence. Maybe we need to get

[16:25] a restraining order. Maybe we just need to tell the person, "You're out of my life. Don't ever come near me again. If you do, I'm calling the cops." But if we cannot avoid physical conflict, then we need to respond as strongly and decisively as we possibly can. There are no Marquis of Queensberry rules if someone is attacking us.

[17:00] And again, we don't Decency is not an issue at that point. Okay? I would say especially if a woman is being attacked by a man. There is nothing she can possibly do in response that would be indecent or inappropriate. She should, if she can, seek to as permanently disable him as she possibly can.

[17:35] And I'm not I'm not an advocate for violence, but sometimes it's necessary. And no one should allow themselves to be victimized by an evil person or a person Let Let me rephrase that. By a person who's committing an evil act in the name of decency. It's a hard thing.

[18:13] I think most [snorts] of us want to go through our lives, you know, feel like we're taking care of our responsibilities, take care of our family, being good friends. We [snorts] don't want to have to confront such situations. I think we'll be better prepared to deal with such situations if we recognize that our obligation is to treat other people decently, not

[18:49] with respect necessarily, and that there is a limit to the behavior that we have to tolerate. And

[19:04] >> [snorts]

[19:06] >> the the goal, in essence, is to always be like that. To always recognize what is the appropriate way to treat someone, knowing that at times we're going to fall short. I mean, [snorts] lest you mistake,

[19:31] >> [laughter]

[19:31] >> like I'm setting myself up as some paragon of virtue. I'm not. I I probably almost get run down by a car at least once a week, sometimes more, sometimes multiple times in one day when I'm out walking for exercise. And sometimes I lose my temper and I start screaming at a driver. In one case, I taunted the guy to get out of the car. I said, "Come on, get out of the car, you you you coward. Try and hit me with

[20:08] your car." Because in that case, he was driving into the into the crosswalk. I stared him down. And then after stopping, he moved the car again, threatening me. Okay? Now, I will acknowledge I did not treat him decently and it would have been better if I just walked on, you know, knowing that there are people like that in the world and there was nothing I was going to do that was going to change his perspective. Although, I did get him to roll up his

[20:44] window. But, each time we want to treat someone indecently and exercise the self-control necessary not to do that, we make the world a better place. Because, here's the reality. Someone who's acting indecently toward us,

[21:20] it's very unlikely if we act indecently back, that that's going to dissuade them from acting indecently again. So, by reacting in an indecent way, all we're doing is bringing more contention into the world. We may get, you know, kind of a short-term sense of relief, I stood up for myself, all that kind of stuff. You know, but in the end,

[21:58] we're not making the world a better place. And we may live to regret our aggressive behavior. I was in a conversation yesterday with someone with whom I've been recently to to whom someone I've been recently introduced. And he was bemoaning some of the things going on in the world. And he and he was at a loss as to what to do.

[22:35] And I said to him, "There's really only one solution. And that is for each one of us to take the time and make the effort to reach out and create better relationships with other people. So that we potentially can influence them. And that's really

[23:11] the process of making the world a better place. And the first step to creating a relationship is showing people that we're committed to treating people decently. And so that's my message for you. As we head into the holiday season, we're seeing family members and friends. Maybe we only see them during the holidays and they may be irritating or all those things and and and all

[23:48] those reasons why we only want to see why we only will tolerate seeing them during the holiday season. Let's commit to treating them decently. And maybe we can reach them. And actually set the foundation for a relationship that will give us influence over them.

[24:23] And put them on the path to not being so annoying a person in the future. Maybe put them on the path to becoming a person whom we can respect. And we do that one interaction at a time, one person at a time. And in the end, that's how we build a better world.

[24:58] No one is going to come and wave a magic wand and suddenly create peace in the world. It's not going to happen. But we can make progress in creating peace in our little piece of the world by doing our best to treat other people decently. So, that's my message to you from Jiggers' Place.

[25:36] I thank you very much for joining me. And I wish you a wonderful evening. Hopefully you're going to spend some time with family and friends, maybe have a nice dinner. And I look forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks at the next episode of Jiggers' Place. And that just leaves me to sign off as I always do, reminding you, O'er ye darling, you are my bell. Courage at all times, my